


Thinking About the Past Again

by theowritesstuff



Category: Bandom, Pierce the Veil
Genre: Claustrophobia, Cutting, Daddy Issues, F/M, Forced Prostitution, Kidnapping, Merinthrophobia, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Panic Attacks, Rape Recovery, Scotomaphobia, Self Harm, Sex Slavery, This is cute I swear, flash backs, mentions of rape/non con, panic disorder, she just has a really dark past
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-03
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-01-18 00:31:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 58,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1408348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theowritesstuff/pseuds/theowritesstuff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alfreda's finally done it. She's finally escaped her father's prison. With nobody left to turn to, she calls her friend Tony, who she hasn't spoken to in nine years. Will he help her?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Done

"I'm done with you!!!" I screeched, throwing my hands in the air. "I'm done with all of you!! I'm done with the condescending tones, the lack of respect! I'm just done." 

I ran into my room, ignoring the shouts behind me. I locked the door, and pushed a chair against it so nobody could get in. I grabbed an old backpack from my closet, putting my diary in with some pencils before stuffing it to the brim with clothes. When that was full, I grabbed a duffel bag and stuffed it too, grabbing sweatshirts and t shirt and shorts and an extra pair of shoes. I was prepared for any type of weather. I found the sock I kept hidden in the back of my underwear drawer, and pulled out the money stashed there. I'd kept it ready, in case I ever decided to run. I shoved the money back into the sock, sticking the sock in my backpack. 

I was constantly fighting with my father. He demanded respect, and all I asked in return was that he do the same. I was fed up with the way I was treated around here, everybody acted like I was the disgrace of the family. So I listened to different music than them and had different opinions. I'm still a part of the family, I need love too. 

I slung the backpack over my shoulders, looking around for anything else I might want. I grabbed my phone charger from beside my bed, stuffing it into the front pocket of my backpack. I thought I was finished, but my little stuffed turtle was staring at me from my bed, and I picked him up and shoved him in my backpack. I found my very best tennis shoes and tugged them on. 

Hearing that they had all stopped banging on the door and moved on to do something more worth their time, I stepped out. I went into the living room, walking straight past my family and to the door. 

"Going somewhere?" My stepmom sneered from her armchair. 

"You betcha." I said, my words clipped and cold. 

"Where??" She demanded, sitting up slightly. 

"I have no idea." I smirked before walking straight out the door. 

I was glad it was warm out, though it was kind of chilly for late April. I had a sweater on, so I wasn't that cold, but my jeans were incredibly ripped, and I could feel goosebumps starting to rise on my legs. I only wore these today because I knew they pissed my dad off. I knew it was gonna really cold when the sun went down. I had to find refuge. 

There was a cheap motel just a couple miles down the road. It was skeevy, and gross, but it would do for the night. Dad would never expect me to go there, which was great. It was going to take a little bit to get off my property though, we lived a half mile into the forest. 

I pulled my headphones out of my pocket, plugging them into my iPod and hitting play on a random song. The House of Wolves by Bring Me the Horizon started playing and I sighed. Perfect. I walked and got completely lost in the music. 

I was trying not to cry as I walked. I've never done anything like this before, ran away... I've thought about it and threatened it, but I've never actually done it. It was weird. I've basically been a prisoner for twenty two years, and now I'm free. 

It felt amazing. 

I laughed as I realised this, then broke out into a run, holding my arms out wide and jumping every hundred meters or so. My arms moved in as I broke into a full sprint. I kept running until I felt my lungs were about to burst, which took a while. I run a mile every morning before dawn, before anybody else wakes up. I have a track I've worn into the ground in the woods. 

After taking a second to catch my breath, I started walking again. I glanced at my phone, I'd been running for thirty minutes. I think I'm only a half mile away now. I'm not sure, I've never been good with estimating distances. I stayed at a walk, ignoring the people staring. 

About ten minutes later, I'd found the motel. I went to the fast food place across from it first, going straight to the bathroom. I got the sock full of cash out of my backpack, counting through it quickly. 

Three thousand dollars. For the past five years, I'd maintained a job at a supermarket working for minimum wage at sixty hours a week, with Sunday as my only day off, only to give all of my money to my father. But he'd allowed me to keep five percent of each pay check, and I saved it all, hid it away in my underwear drawer. I never needed to buy anything, I only went out of the house for work and my dad and stepmom bought clothes for me on a regular basis. I shoved all but a hundred dollars back into the sock and into my backpack. 

I exited the bathroom and bought myself a milkshake so I didn't seem rude, then started walking over to the motel. It was just as gross and dingy as I remembered. 

"Hi, how much is a room here?" I asked the man at the front desk. He looked to be in his mid thirties, with sunken grey eyes and greasy black hair. 

"Thirty dollars for a single, forty for a double." He spoke in a monotone. I silently counted out thirty dollars and laid it on the counter. He took it, pocketed it, and silently handed me an old fashioned room key with a tag hanging off it that read "102". I set off in search for the room, and found it in no time. 

The room was dark, and smelled of mildew and stale cigarette smoke. It was pretty bare, nothing but a bed and a little end table and a chair filled the main room, and there was a bathroom off to the side. It wasn't much, but it was all I needed. 

I threw my bags into a chair sitting against the wall, flopping face first on the bed. It was hard, and squeaky. I sighed. The first night of freedom is bound to be an uncomfortable one. 

And that's when it hit me. I was really on my own here. My dad or stepmom haven't tried to call me, they obviously don't care. I was completely and utterly alone. 

Tears quickly started rolling down my face and I curled up into a ball on the bed as sobs began to wash over me. I couldn't believe myself. Running away, what a stupid and selfish thing to do. 

But I had to do it. I'd been trapped there for seven years. 

I picked up my phone, scrolling through my contacts. I just needed somebody to talk to. Problem is, I haven't talked to any of my friends for seven years, so I only had family members on my phone. Except for one. I'd kept his number all these years. 

"Oh what the hell..." I muttered to myself, wiping the tears off my face. I hit call on the contact, a turtle popping up on my screen as the contact picture. 

"Hello?" He answered after two rings, and another wave of sobs rushed over me. Oh how I had missed that voice. 

"T-Tony?" I stuttered. "It's- it's me Freddie. I... I really need you right now."


	2. Talking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So um, this is the start of trigger warnings!! This chapter has trigger warnings for self harm, and in case you didn't read the tags clearly enough, this entire story is just basically a huge trigger. Most of the tags won't come in until later, but I just want you guys to be safe, and I definitely don't want to trigger anybody so please read carefully. I love you guys <3 ALSO: if you ever need to talk to anybody, I am always here to listen, okay?

"Freddie??" Tony sounded weird, like he couldn't believe me. I don't blame him. "As in Alfreda?"

"Yes!" I gasped. I was sobbing even harder now. I could hardly breathe. 

"Alfreda, you need to calm down." Tony was concerned now. "Take a few minutes to compose yourself, I'm not going to hang up." 

"Promise?" I choked out. 

"I double cross pinkie promise." Tony said, his smile shining through his voice. I let out a weak laugh, that was our big thing all those years ago. It felt good to hear it again. 

I kept the phone held to my ear as I took deep breaths. I could hear Tony breathing deeply as well, trying to help. I mimicked his breathing, calming slowly but surely. 

"I'm sorry Tony, I needed somebody to talk to and you're the only person in my contacts who will listen and not make it worse." I explained when I calmed. Tears were still flowing but I'd stopped sobbing. 

"Talk to me, Alfreda." Tony demanded softly. 

"My dad he..." Ugh, where do I start?? Tony doesn't know anything. 

"Where are you right now?" He asked. 

"In a motel in Salem, Oregon." I sighed. "Dad made us move, I'm sorry." 

"I'm gonna come to you, okay?" Tony's smile was evident in his voice again, like he was talking to a three year old. "And when I get there, you can explain everything, alright?"

"Tony, if you're still in San Diego, I'm fifteen hours away!" I shouted, surprised by his offer. 

"I don't care." He said firmly. "I haven't seen you in seven years, fifteen hours is nothing. What's the name of the motel?" 

"Super something or other..." I muttered. "It's across from a McDonald's if that helps." 

"I'm sure I'll find you." I could see him nodding. 

"Tony you really don't have to." I sighed. "I just needed somebody to distract me, to talk to." 

"Well I'll talk to you for as long as you want me to." He smiled. "I can talk and drive." 

"That's dangerous." I scolded. 

"I'll put you on speakerphone, put the phone on the dash." Tony sounded smug. "Danger free." 

"I don't want you driving at night." I sighed. I was still trying to convince him to stay, even though all I wanted was to see him again. 

"Alfie, I'll be fine." Tony chuckled. "I'm just worried about you. I haven't seen you in so long, Alfie." 

"I know..." I murmured, sobs threatening to take over again. "I've missed you so much Tony." 

"I've missed you too Alfreda." Tony sounded sad. 

"So what have you been up to these days?" I asked, changing the subject. I sat up, wiping my eyes. I could hear him moving around, people in the background talking. 

"Um, I joined a band." Tony sounded nervous. 

"You know, I was on YouTube one day checking out this band..." I started, grinning. "And I started watching this music video and suddenly my best friend was on the screen, rocking his little heart out." 

"We have a lot to catch up on." Tony laughed, though there was a weird tone in his voice. 

We talked for ages. I listened as he told me everything that's happened in the last seven years. I heard voices in the background the whole time, recognising them all from interviews and such. 

"Tony, I'm tired..." I murmured, looking at the clock on the bedside table. It was nearly one in the morning. All voices but Tony's had ceased. 

"You should sleep." Tony sighed. 

"What if you get here while I'm sleeping?" I frowned. 

"I'll bang on the door until I wake you up." He laughed. 

"You know that won't wake me up." I let out a giggle, something I haven't done in ages. "I'll leave the key under the mat outside or something, okay?"

"Get some sleep Freddie." Tony demanded softly. "I'll see you soon." 

"See you soon." I repeated, and the line went dead. I let my phone fall to the bed, standing up. I needed to change, I couldn't sleep in jeans. 

I walked over to my duffel bag, pulling out a pair of shorts and a tank top. I pulled off my sweater, then my t shirt and jeans. I stared down at my stomach in disgust. It was covered in scars and cuts. My thighs had a light layer of faded scars, I'd stopped cutting there ages ago. I pulled the tank top and shorts on. They were old, and a little small, but I didn't care. I grabbed my little stuffed turtle as well, knowing I couldn't sleep without him. Yes, I'm a twenty five year old, fully grown woman who can't sleep without a stuffed turtle she's had since elementary school. 

Flipping the lights off, I climbed into bed, crawling under the covers. I'd already plugged my phone in. Talking on it nonstop wore the battery out in about an hour. I let out a long, shuddering sigh. That bad feeling had been festering in my stomach ever since I ran away. It had lessened some while I was on the phone, but it had come back with a vengeance. I snapped the case off my phone, grabbing the razor I kept there. It was my only one now, I'd left all the others behind, unless I have any hidden in my backpack. 

I pulled my tank top up, running the blade across my skin but not pressing down hard enough to do any damage. It was cold, sending shivers down my spine. I pressed down harder, hissing as the blade sliced into my skin. The pain quickly turned into relief, and I pressed down again, and again, and again until I was satisfied. 

I crawled back out of bed, kicking myself for ever getting into it, and went to the bathroom. I wish I'd thought to grab my first aid kit from under my bed. Toilet paper would have to do for now. I ripped off a long piece, folding it so it was really thick. I stared at my stomach in the mirror for a second, watching the red start to flow slowly. I hadn't gone too deep. I pressed the toilet paper to the cuts, wincing. 

The cuts stopped bleeding after about ten minutes, or at least enough for me to leave it. I walked back to the main room and grabbed a random sweatshirt out of my backpack and pulled it on. I couldn't even see which one it was, it was too dark. It was kind of hot, but I needed it just in case my cuts started bleeding again in the middle of the night. Even if they do bleed through my tank top, they won't bleed through the sweatshirt. 

I went to crawl back into bed, but remembered that I had to leave the key out for Tony. There's no way I'll be awake when he gets here. I grabbed the key from the bedside table and opened the door, looking around outside. There wasn't really anything to hide it under or in. I ended up putting it on top of the door frame. I went back to my backpack and tore a piece of paper out of a notebook, writing a note to Tony telling him where the key is. Hopefully he got it and not some perv. Then again, I think I'm the only person in this place. 

I jammed the note in the door, sighing. I still couldn't believe all of this was happening. Twelve hours ago, I was at home, with no hope of ever getting out, and now... I'm a runaway about to see my friend who I haven't talked to in seven years. 

I crawled back into bed, wincing as my tank top rubbed against my stomach. I cuddled up with my stuffed turtle, and soon fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is really short and I'm sorry but it gets better later I swear


	3. Changes

_"Dad, dad no!!" I screeched, frantically trying to move away from my father. He's knocked me to the floor, and cornered me. He was towering over me with a huge butcher knife, smiling evilly. "Dad please, stop!"_

_"If you can cut yourself, I can cut you too!" He announced, pulling the knife up into the air. I held my hands up in self defence, and pulled them back down again when a sharp pain burned across them. He'd cut my palms. He raised the knife again, and I screamed louder, calling out for help._

_"Dad no!! Stop! Tony!! Tony please help me!!"_

"Alfreda!" Somebody was shouting, shaking my shoulders. I jolted awake, sitting straight up. Whoever it was shaking me wrapped their arms around me, holding me tight. I tensed up at first, but when I realised the voice murmuring in my ear was Tony's, I flung my arms around his neck and held on for dear life. I winced slightly as my cuts were practically slammed into him, but I didn't care.

"Tony, I was so scared..." I blubbered out. I hadn't realised that I was crying, but I was. Actually, sobbing. I buried my face in his neck, and he just kept speaking in this soft tone that just calmed me perfectly.

"Tell me what happened, Alfreda." Tony sighed as I pulled away from him.

"My dad..." I muttered. I didn't know where to start. Or even how to explain the dream. My hesitation must have been obvious, because Tony spoke up again.

"Start at the beginning. What happened yesterday?" Alright, that's easy. Kind of.

"I ran away from home." I practically hissed. "My dad got too much to handle."

"But... Your dad was great!" Tony looked confused. "You love your dad, look up to him..."

"Not anymore." I spat, looking down at my hands. "He turned into a monster."

"Alfreda, what happened?" His voice was laced with concern, worry, and confusion. I looked back up at him, right into his eyes.

"Mom died." I said, and Tony's expression turned to one of sympathy and pity. He hugged me again, and I tried not to wince this time.

"Alfreda I am so, so sorry..." Tony murmured softly in my ear. And I knew he knew how I felt. His dad died when he was ten, I was there for him through that. "What happened?"

"A car crash." I sighed, pulling back. "Dad blames me. And himself, kind of. But mainly me..."

"How would it be your fault??" Tony frowned.

"I was talking to mom when it happened." I shrugged. "She accidentally ran a red light and a car slammed into the driver's side. Me and dad were on the passengers side. He walked away with barely a scratch. I got off with a broken arm. But nothing was as bad as losing my mother."

"Alfreda that's horrible." He sighed, rubbing my shoulder. I ignored his words, continuing my story. I was staring at my hands the entire time, picking at my nail polish.

"After the funeral, dad flipped. He blamed me, saying I shouldn't talk to people while they're driving, blah blah blah. I felt like shit. I went through a really dark period where I didn't eat, slept all the time, never came out of my bedroom, didn't shower. I hardly did anything.

"And then dad moved us to a different state. Practically held me prisoner in a house way back in the woods, for seven years. He remarried, and had two kids. I hated it. He didn't even treat me like his daughter anymore, more like a slave or servant. I got tired of it. So I ran away."

I looked up, and the look on Tony's face is one I can't even begin to describe. Concern, sympathy, and anger all mixed together in some weird contorted expression.

"That's terrible." A voice spoke up, and I jumped. I looked past Tony, three people were standing near the doorway. I suddenly realised how exposed my old scars were. Not that anybody would notice them unless they were looking or knew they were there, but I still pulled the scratchy blanket over my legs.

I found the source of the voice, the shortest person there. Vic.

"Sorry," Tony started, giving me an apologetic smile. "They insisted on coming."

"It's okay." I nodded. "I just didn't know they were there, is all." I looked back to Tony. "I see you got the note and found the key."

"Yeah." Tony laughed, shrugging.

"He nearly broke the door down." A different voice grinned. I looked back again. It was Jaime this time. "We got here and the second we walked in the door you were screaming."

"I wasn't going to break the door down!" Tony scowled. "I knew she'd left a key, I just wasn't sure as to where!!"

"You would've broken the door down to get to her and you know it." Vic laughed.

"Well, I got the key, and that's all that matters." Tony nodded firmly before turning back to me. "Sooo..."

"Sooo... What?" I frowned, confused.

"So do you want to come back to San Diego with us?" Tony asked shyly.

"Of course!" I nodded enthusiastically, sitting up straighter. "I mean, as long as I wouldn't be a burden. I can get a job and save up and get an apartment and a car an be out of your hair as soon as possible."

"You'd never be a burden." Tony had that sad look about him again.

"I still can't just mooch off of you my entire life." I shrugged.

"Go on, get dressed." Tony nodded, prodding my shoulder. "We'll leave as soon as you're ready."

"Okay." I muttered. I stood up quickly, moving to my backpack as fast as I could to grab a pair of jeans and a new tank top. I wasn't about to wear the jeans from yesterday, suddenly I was much more conscious of the scars on my thighs. I went into the bathroom and changed into the jeans, not bothering to change my sweatshirt. I did switch my tank tops though, as the one I was wearing before had blood caked on it. I pulled it from my stomach gently, managing to not reopen the cuts. I wadded my shorts and tank top up into a tight ball, then went back and shoved them into my backpack.

"Ready?" Tony asked, smiling. I nodded, picking up my backpack and duffel bag from the small chair.

"I like your sweatshirt." Vic grinned, gesturing to my chest. I looked down, I didn't even know which one I was wearing. Then I blushed, it was the one I'd gotten just last year, with him and Kellin Quinn on it. "It has my face."

"It's warm." I nodded, trying to keep my blush under control.

"It's really hot outside, you probably won't need it." Vic nodded.

"Is it?" I frowned. "It was cold out yesterday."

"Yeah, it's like eighty degrees out there." Tony nodded.

"I just like this sweatshirt." I shrugged. I had long faded scars on my wrist too. They were barely even visible, but still there. Normally I don't even care, but I didn't want Tony seeing. "I don't get hot easily."

"Well come on then." Tony grinned. He grabbed my duffel bag, carrying it for me. Together, the five of us walked towards the door, and after we dropped the key off at the front desk, we were in the car, arguing over seats. Everybody insisted that I sit shotgun, and Vic, being the shortest, had to sit in the middle in the back.

"You wanna stop by McDonald's?" Tony asked as he started the car. "You're probably starving."

"Um, sure." I nodded. I hadn't had anything since lunch yesterday, and all I had was an apple because I didn't feel like making myself anything. The guys in the back practically screamed their agreement, making me laugh.

We drove across the road to McDonald's, ordered through the drive through, and were soon on the highway towards San Diego. It was just past noon, we wouldn't get there until about three in the morning.

"What d'you say we go swimming tomorrow?" Tony grinned. We'd been driving for ages, all of the guys were asleep in the back. It was nearly two in the morning, we were almost there. "I know how you love the beach."

"Oh, I haven't been to the beach in so long..." I sighed wistfully. "I'd have to stop by some store or whatever and get a bathing suit. I haven't had one in ages. Haven't had a reason to."

"We can get you one." Tony nodded, smiling at me. His ear gauges wiggled when he nodded. I hadn't noticed this before, and maybe it's because I'm sleepy, but I burst out laughing. "What??" Tony looked at me in alarm. "What's so funny?"

"Your..." I couldn't even speak. I tried not to laugh too loud, I didn't want to wake anybody up. I pressed my hands to my mouth, trying to muffle the sound. Tony was laughing quietly as well, looking at me like I was insane.

It took me a little while to calm down, but I finally managed to tell Tony what had set me off.

"Your ear gauges wiggle when you nod." I grinned.

"Oh you mean like this?" Tony laughed, shaking his head. I hid my face in my hands, trying not to laugh again.

"Ah, Turtle, you've changed so much." I sighed, looking at him and patting his cheek. "So many tattoos and your ears..."

"You haven't changed a bit, Alfie." Tony sighed, grabbing my hand.

Oh how I wish that was true...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So um, yeah. Thank you guys for reading!!


	4. Swimming and Walking

"Tony, I am _not_ buying that!!" I laughed, snatching the bikini from his hands. It was barely a swimsuit, just three triangles. The bottoms didn't even have a back, just a string. What fabric was there was extremely sheer and black.

"Aw, come on Alfie!" Tony whined playfully. "It'll look so good on you."

"You're insane." I shook my head, still grinning. I shoved the bikini back on the rack, looking around. We'd gone to Walmart, just me and Tony, while the rest of the guys had gone on to the beach in Vic's car. We'd finally gotten home last night around four in the morning, or at least that's what Tony says. I fell asleep some time around two, and Tony carried me into his house. I woke up in a strange bed and nearly freaked.

"How about this one?" Tony held up another bikini, not so skimpy this time. It was purple, with lime green cheetah print, and the bottoms actually looked like they would cover my ass.

"No bikinis." I shook my head. "I do love cheetah print though."

"Why not?" Tony frowned.

"Don't like 'em." I shrugged, looking through a rack of one pieces. It was quiet for a bit. I saw a plain black one that I kinda liked, before Tony spoke up again.

"Well how about this one?" He asked. I turned my gaze to him and smiled. He was holding a one piece, halter neck, cheetah print swimsuit.

"Perfect." I beamed. "I gotta get flip flops though, I don't wanna ruin my good running shoes with sand and junk."

"Alrighty." Tony nodded. We started walking towards the back where the shoes were, and I sighed in contentment. I've been gone for two days, and I've already kind of gotten my life in order. Kind of.

I grabbed a pair of cheap black flip flops, and we started towards the front. Silence wasn't awkward with Tony, it was perfectly comfortable. It was like we just forgot all about the seven years we'd been separated and just started back where we left off. I liked it.

The cashier lady treated me kindly enough, but whenever Tony tried to say something, she gave him a death glare. I knew it was because of the way he looked. And I hate that. He is so much sweeter than he looks. I knew I looked funny standing next to him. I was pale, short, and tattoo free. I had two piercings in each ear lobe, and on through the cartilage of my left ear and a small hoop through my nose, but that's it. Tony on the other hand... Tattoos up to his jaw, the dermal under his eye, and ear gauges so large a child could fit their hand in.

Okay maybe that's an exaggeration. But whatever.

I paid for my swimsuit and flip flops, leaving as quickly as possible. I was excited to get to the beach, but I also just wanted to get away from the cashier.

"So tell me everything I've missed out on in the past seven years." I said to Tony as we drove towards the beach. "I wanna know everything."

"I've been a lot of places, met a lot of amazing people, played guitar, all sorts of stuff." Tony grinned. I loved seeing him so happy. "It's all a bit of a blur really."

"I'm really happy for you." I smiled. "These three guys seem pretty amazing."

"Yeah..." Tony sighed happily. It was quiet for a moment, then he smirked at me. "I think Vic likes you."

"What?!" I spluttered, half laughing. "No he doesn't!!"

"Awh, come on Alf!" Tony protested. "You saw the way he looked at you yesterday! And this morning."

"He looked at me like I was a pitiful runaway girl who doesn't know what to do with her life, if that's what you're talking about." I gave him a huge, sarcastic smile.

"Seriously Alfie, I think he likes you." Tony nodded seriously.

"Yeah, right." I scoffed, rolling my eyes. "No guy has ever liked me, ever."

"I used to." Tony admitted, a small blush creeping up his cheeks.

"What??" I laughed, looking at him sideways. "You did not!"

"No, I really did!!" Tony insisted. "In like, sixth through ninth grade."

"Wowww..." I breathed.

"Don't laugh." Tony warned.

"Not gonna." I said, biting my lip to hold back the giggles threatening to erupt. He looked at me funny, and I burst into laughter. Tony scowled. "Sorry Tone. It's just I used to like you too."

"Are you kidding me??" Tony deadpanned. I shook my head, sighing as memories of high school came flooding back.

"Oh my god, do you remember that time we had to kiss in seventh grade??" I shouted, laughing.

"I had forgotten about that!!" Tony yelled.

"Ugh, that was awful." I groaned, then backtracked. "Not the kiss, the situation."

"We were playing truth or dare with a group of kids at some stupid party, weren't we?" Tony asked. I nodded.

"Yup." I said, "I had picked truth and they asked who in the room I wanted to kiss most, and since I barely knew anybody, I said you. And then later we were dared to actually kiss, right there in front of everybody."

"Oh high school..." Tony sighed.

"How lovely art thee, with thy awkward moments and useless dramatics." I spoke in a Shakespearian accent, sighing.

"Still a drama dork I see." Tony grinned. I stuck my tongue out at him, and he laughed.

We talked about random things as we drove. Tony avoided asking me anything about myself from the past seven years, which made me happy. But honestly, what was there to tell? I had a set schedule. Get up at five before anybody is up, go on a run, get back at six (still before anybody's up), shower, go to work at eight, lunch break at one, get off at six, eat dinner if I could be bothered, Internet for a bit, and then probably fall asleep at eight. Then it all repeated. My only day I didn't go to work was Sunday, and then I just sat around. Played with Aiden and Matty a bit.

"There's changing tents over there." Tony pointed as we pulled up to the beach. "You can go put on your swimsuit and stuff."

"Mkay." I nodded, climbing out of the car. I'd given up on trying to hide my legs. The scars were so faded though, you couldn't even see them really. I walked over to the tents, and stripped out of my clothes, tugging on the suit. I pulled my tank top and shorts back on over it, not wanting to walk in just the suit. I bundled my underwear up in my hand, planning to hide them in the car. I walked out and saw Tony was waiting for me by the car.

"I'm a big girl you know." I grinned, walking up to Tony. I pulled the car door open and found my tennis shoes. I'd changed into my flip flops on the way over. I shoved my bra in one shoe and my underwear in another. I also unclasped my necklace and took out my earrings, hiding them in my shoes as well. Everything of value, including my phone and money, was hidden in the glovebox. "I can find my way to the beach by myself."

"I know." Tony nodded. "But I didn't want to just leave you."

"Well come on then." I grinned enthusiastically. "I'll race you."

With that, I took off running towards the beach. I'd gotten very fast over the years, running every morning has helped that. But I've always been a fast runner.

"Damn girl, you just outran a Mexican." Jaime grinned as I reached them. They were all just sitting on the beach, soaking wet. They were all shirtless, but that didn't phase me in the slightest. There weren't many other people on the beach, but maybe that's because it's 11 AM on a Tuesday. I beamed, shrugging.

"And in flip flops no less." Tony agreed, breathless as he finally caught up.

"I've ran every morning since I moved." I nodded. "So that helps."

"Which is weird because you used to hate running in high school." Tony laughed.

"Things change." I shrugged. "It was a good stress reliever. Plus, it helped to just get out of the house."

It got quiet after that. Tony was wearing that sad expression again. I stared out at the ocean. It was so beautiful.

Without even thinking, I kicked my flip flops off and ran out into the ocean, pulling my tank top and shorts off as I went. I ran out as far as I could, then just flopped down into the water. It felt heavenly. I sunk down to the bottom, smiling. I'd missed this. I couldn't hold my breath as long as I used to though, so I popped back up quickly.

I looked back to the beach. All four of the guys were staring at me like I was crazy, but Tony and Vic were smiling.

"Well what are you waiting for??" I laughed, waving to them. "The water feels great!!"

They hesitated for a moment, but soon it was a race to get to the beach. I couldn't see who won, all I could see was a wall of water. I swam out further, until the water was up to my neck. There aren't many waves right now, which I liked.

I screamed as something grabbed my ankle. I started kicking, and felt my foot make contact with something soft but firm. Jaime popped up out of the water, holding his cheek.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" I asked frantically, swimming over to him. I placed my hands on either side of his face, searching him for any visible injuries. "I didn't mean to kick you I swear. I'm so sorry oh my god."

"No no, I'm fine." Jaime nodded, and I moved my hands away. He worked his jaw, moving it up and down and side to side. "No permanent damage done."

"I am _so_ sorry." I repeated, sighing.

"It's fine, I shouldn't have grabbed you." Jaime nodded. I frowned. "Seriously, I'm okay. You didn't even kick that hard."

"It's because the water slowed me down!!" I was suddenly defensive. "You just wait until you get me in a real fight, I can knock you down flat."

"Oh please, you couldn't fight a child." Tony scoffed. He was about twenty feet away, watching us.

"I've gotten better!" I nodded.

"I'll have to take you up on that some time." Jaime winked. I stuck my tongue out at him childishly, making him laugh.

We swam for a while, laughing and chattering on about anything and everything. It was nice, being there under the sun. I loved the feeling of weightlessness that came with being in water. How free I felt.

I was _w_.

I could feel my pale skin starting to burn, but I didn't care. I tried to stay underwater as much as possible, but my face burned the most. I knew I was going to end up with a vicious sun burn, I burned easily even when I used to get out often, but I couldn't find it in me to care. I was so happy.

"I dunno about you guys, but I'm starving." Vic nodded about three hours later.

"There's a little boardwalk thing with a really good restaurant that way." I nodded, pointing. "At least I think there is. There was when I lived here."

"Oh you mean the Flying Fish?" Tony asked. I nodded. "Yeah, it's still there."

"Can we go??" I practically pleaded. "We used to love going there and I haven't been since graduation day."

"Sure." Tony beamed. "I haven't been in a while either."

"I mean, as long as that's okay with you guys." I was suddenly conscious of the three other men floating around in the water with us.

"I just want food." Vic nodded. Jaime and Mike hummed their agreement, and I grinned.

"They have the BEST cheeseburgers there." I gushed, starting to swim out. Then, I turned to Tony. "But you're a vegetarian now, aren't you?"

"I am." Tony nodded. We'd reached a part where we could stand, or at least they could. I still had a bit to go. "It's really weird that you know all of these things about me now and you could have changed so much and I wouldn't know."

"I haven't changed a bit." I nodded, internally grimacing at my lie. I finally made it to where I could stand flat footed, and I started walking towards the shore instead of swimming. "The only thing different is I'm nine years older."

"Well apparently you're a runner now." Tony sighed.

"And she can supposedly take me down in a fight." Jaime laughed.

"I'm stronger than I look, Mr. Preciado!!" I defended myself. We'd reached the shore, and I struggled to not get sand all over me. Didn't work, but at least I tried.

"Oh really?" Jaime raised one eyebrow. I nodded, smirking. I went to grab a towel from a large pile of them with our stuff, when I was suddenly tackled to the ground.

My instincts kicked in, and I immediately started thrashing around. I managed to get a good hold on his wrists, locking my legs around his torso and flipping us over,pinning his arms above his head. Jaime looked up at me, surprised. I beamed.

"Told you." I teased, sticking my tongue out at him. He rolled his eyes, pushing me into the sand.

"You got lucky." Jaime nodded. He held his hand out for me to help me up, which I graciously took.

"It's called strength and skills, not luck." I laughed. I grabbed a towel and started dusting the sand off of me, scowling. "Dammit Jaime. I was trying not to get sand all over me."

"You two are so cute." Mike grinned a teasing smile. I rolled my eyes.

"Please, Jaime and I are not 'cute'." I muttered. "We're not even a thing. Not will we ever be a thing."

"I ship it." Vic grinned, though he had a weird look about him. A look Tony noticed and smirked at.

"Boys are gross." I said in a childish voice, shaking my head. The guys all laughed. I dried off as best as I could, trying not to rub my stomach too roughly. I ran the towel through my hair, getting it as dry as possible before brushing it with my fingers and tying it up with the ever present hair tie on my wrist. I pulled my shorts and tank top back on, feeling a bit better now that the scars on my legs were covered. I wasn't worried much about the ones on my wrist. They were four years old, extremely faded. Plus, they weren't that deep to begin with. The ones on my thighs were light as well, although they were only two years old. My stomach has most of the deeper cuts.

I focused on walking to the boardwalk, trying to get my mind off of cutting. My phone was in my shorts pocket, untouched by the water and sand, and I could practically feel my razor burning a hole in the dark denim.

I started humming to get my mind clear. The boys were all chattering away about something, I wasn't really listening. My tuneless song soon turned into quiet singing.

"Hearts on fire tonight... Feel my bones ignite..." I sighed, swinging my hands at my sides and staring at my feet. The soft sand of the beach had turned into pavement, and I felt somebody walk up beside me.

"Good song." Vic murmured, smile shining through his voice. "I think I've heard it before."

"Oh have you?" I grinned, looking up at him. He was only about four inches taller than me.

"Yeah, it was on the radio once and I kinda liked it." He continued, smiling widely.

"It's by a really great band." I nodded. "But they did a collaboration on that song with this weird singer with weird hair. I don't think I like him much."

"Hey, you're the one with that weird singer on a sweatshirt!!" Vic protested. "And my hair isn't weird!!"

"Maybe I bought the sweatshirt because of Kellin!" I retorted.

"Oh fine. I see how it is." Vic pouted, crossing his arms. I laughed, bumping my hip with his. "Love Kellin and not me."

"It is what it is." I shrugged. I got excited as we neared the boardwalk. I hadn't been in so long.

"Tony all of my high school days are all flooding back." I sighed dramatically, pressing the back of my hand to my forehead. "So much sun. So much tan."

"Yeah, literally all of them." Tony laughed. "We spent nearly every day skating or walking on the boardwalk or swimming."

"When you live near a beach, you have to take advantage of it." I nodded seriously.

"We don't actually come out that often..." Tony nodded. I gasped dramatically, pressing a hand to my chest. "Well tours and stuff make it hard."

"But we're completely free for the next two months." Vic grinned. I beamed.

"Which is actually very rare." Mike nodded. "You chose the perfect time to run away."

"Oh, I know right?" I laughed. Normally a comment like that would've hurt, or at least stung a little. I just feel so comfortable around these guys.

We reached the restaurant, and it was just how I'd left it. Same red and white awnings out front, same glossy black interior. You'd think a place called The Flying Fish would be more like a pub, but this place was full out retro diner.

We didn't have to wait for a table, there was only a few people in the diner. We got a booth made for four, and Mike ended up pulling a chair up to the end of the table. I sat against the wall, with Tony beside me, Vic across from me and Jaime next to Vic.

"Oh how I've missed this place." I sighed, leaning against Tony's shoulder.

"I wonder if Mrs. Kincaid is still here..." Tony mused, looking around.

"Oh!" I half shouted, sitting up so fast I startled Vic. "Oh I hope she is! I've missed her..."

"Think she'll recognise us?" Tony grinned.

"How could I not?" A voice grinned, and I looked up. I immediately beamed.

"Mrs. Kincaid!!" I shouted. She was standing there, grinning at us. She hasn't changed a bit. Same grey hair, same deep brown eyes. I sighed happily.

"How are ya darlin'?" Mrs. Kincaid asked, speaking with that slightly southern accent she always has. "I haven't seen ya in nearly a decade!!"

"Nine years." I corrected, laughing. I realised none years was nearly a decade, but I didn't care. "I'm good! I had to suddenly move the summer after I graduated but I'm back now."

"Well I'm glad you're back." She beamed, before laying down some menus. "Take a look at these, but I bet I know what you want." She winked at me, then left after taking everybody's drink order.

"The menu's changed!!" I gasped, half in shock. I turned straight to the burgers, then sighed in relief. "Good, they still have my favourite."

"What's that?" Vic asked, mildly curious.

"It's just a cheeseburger, but it's the best cheeseburger in the world." I nodded, sighing dreamily. I looked back to the menu, then nudged Tony, pointing. "Look Turtle, they have a veggie burger now."

"Great!" Tony beamed. I leaned against his shoulder again, for no other reason than he was comfortable. Mrs. Kincaid came back, took our orders, and disappeared off again.

We sat and talked while we waited for our food. They all seemed to be interrogating me, like a game of truth or dare without the dare, and I never got a turn. They asked questions like my favourite colour, my favourite ice cream flavour, and some pretty deep ones that took a bit to think of an answer for. Vic asked the most questions, and Tony hardly asked any. I lied on some, like what's my biggest fear.

The questions continued, even as Mrs. Kincaid sat our food down in front of us. I felt awkward trying to eat and talk, and it occurred to me that I'd had a burger for dinner twice in a row, but I didn't care. This burger outshone the one from McDonald's by a long shot though. It was so... Perfect. I know it's weird to say that about a burger but it was.

"You know what?" I asked around a French fry. "We should actually play truth or dare when we go home."

"Oh, let's just jump in the time machine and go back to middle school while we're at it." Jaime rolled his eyes, but he was grinning.

"I'm being serious!!" I nodded earnestly. "Whenever I play truth or dare it always turns out so fun and awesome. And it's usually _very_ eventful." I nudged Tony's arm as I said this, and laughed as he blushed beet red.

"There's a story here and I'm not sure I want to know it." Jaime laughed.

"No, you don't." Tony nodded seriously.

"Okay now I _have_ to know it." Jamie said dramatically.

"All in good time my friend." I grinned. I sighed, looking at my plate. I still had a handful of fries and a few bites of burger left, but I was absolutely stuffed. I couldn't possibly eat another bite. I sighed again.

"Why are you sighing so sadly at your plate?" Vic asked, a slight laugh shaking his voice.

"Because the food is so good and my stomach is too small." I said in a tiny voice, pouting at him.

"Awh, poor Freddie." Mike fake-frowned. I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Don't call me Freddie." I scowled. "I hate that name. Please call me Alfie or Alf or Alfreda or Alfredo."

"Alfredo?" Vic burst out laughing.

"Yes, Alfredo." I nodded seriously. "I happen to really like that pasta sauce."

"Can I call you Fettuccine?" Mike grinned.

"As long as it's not Freddie." I nodded again.

"Fettuccine it is then." Mike smirked. I rolled my eyes.

"Tonyyy." I whined suddenly, falling over on his shoulder once more.

"Alfieee." Tony whined back, grinning down at me. I looked up at him, pouting.

"I wanna swim more but I also want to walk on the boardwalk." I frowned, pouting even more.

"Well you could walk the boardwalk for a bit and then go swimming." Tony suggested. "It's a win win situation. Plus, you're not supposed to swim too soon after eating anyway."

"Yeah but I'm still wearing my bathing suit and I don't wanna walk around in my bathing suit." I whined.

"Then go change." Tony laughed, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. I scowled.

"That takes effort." I sighed.

"You've suddenly turned all whiney." Jamie stated blandly.

"Yeah, well," I started, but I couldn't think of a valid excuse. "I'm tired, I've been swimming all day."

"Like you haven't swam for longer." Tony rolled his eyes.

"Shut it, Turtle." I grouched, sitting up straight and crossing my arms.

"I know what's got you so tired." Vic spoke up. "It's the good food."

"Yeah!!" I nodded, grinning thankfully at Vic. "Too much good food."

"Mmhmm..." Tony hummed skeptically, but he was grinning. "You just want to be difficult."

"Yeah, that's it." I laughed sarcastically, rolling my eyes. "Trust me Tony, if I wanted to be difficult, you would know it."

"Oh, I know." Tony said dramatically. I rolled my eyes at him again, shoving his shoulder playfully. It was quiet for a bit, then I spoke up again.

"I think I'll go change, walk around a bit, and then go swimming." I nodded matter of factly. "I'm too tired to go swim right now, but I know this boardwalk will give me energy, if nothing's changed."

"Well I'm going back to the beach." Jaime grinned.

"Nobody asked _you_ , Jaime." I scoffed, pretending to be offended.

"Well fine!!" Jaime half-shouted. "I'll just take Tony with me! Tony cares about me, don't you Tony??"

"Uhh..." Tony hesitated, not fully comprehending what just happened.

"Then I'll take Vic!!" I nodded firmly, mainly choosing Vic because of the Fuenciado thing. That and he was right in front of me. "Vic wants to walk the boardwalk, right Vic?"

"Um, sure?" Vic was just about as confused as Tony was. I was almost concerned that they thought we were legitimately fighting, but the smile in Jaime's eyes convinced me otherwise.

"Good!!" I nodded again, shortly this time. I crossed my arms and slumped against the wall, pretending to be angry.

That lasted for about four seconds, right up until Jaime and I burst into laughter at the same time.

"It's like I've known Jaime all my life and not you, Turtle." I giggled, leaning against Tony's shoulder again.

"Alfreda Kimberly Means, you scared me!!" Tony was flabbergasted. "I actually thought you were being serious."

"Lucky Jaime knew I was kidding." I grinned.

"I almost didn't, not gonna lie." Jaime's eyes widened marginally, and I laughed.

"You should go walk with Vic though." Tony said. His expression was serious, a little smug, but the nudge to my knee under the table had other intentions. He's still dead set on the idea that Vic likes me. Ugh. "It'd be good. Bonding time with my friends."

"Sounds good to me." Vic grinned.

"Alright." I nodded shortly, managing to keep a smile on my face while all but stomping on Tony's foot under the table. He gave a little jump, but recovered quickly. "I gotta go get changed though. Tony, give me your keys. My clothes are in your car."

"Let's pay for our food first." Tony nodded. As if on cue, Mrs. Kincaid stopped by with the check.

"Oh, crap." I muttered, patting my pockets. "I left all my money in the car."

"Oh, don't you worry about a thing darlin'." Mrs. Kincaid grinned. "Yours is on the house."

"Oh, you don't have to-" I started, but she cut me off with a look. I sighed, rolling my eyes playfully. "Thank you."

"Not a problem at all, darlin'." Mrs. Kincaid beamed. The boys all fought over who paid, which was very entertaining to watch.

I'm not sure who paid for what, but in a few minutes we were back outside.

"Tony, keys." I deadpanned, holding my hand out expectantly.

"We're all walking the same way, Alfreda." Tony laughed.

"Yeah but I wanna run." I pouted.

"You'll break your neck running in flip flops." Tony nodded. "Just walk with us."

"Fine." I scowled, crossing my arms. Slowly, ever so slowly, we walked towards Tony's car. I'm pretty sure I saw a snail pass us.

Tony used the little key fob to unlock his car, and I used the opportunity to run. I grabbed all of my stuff, making sure nothing had fallen out of my shoes and opening the glove box for my phone and money. I got the extra clothes I'd brought from the back, along with the brush I'd stolen from Tony. I practically sprinted over to the little changing tent, peeling the damp clothes and swimsuit off of me, dressing quickly and dragging the brush through my hair. I put my earrings back in, as I was ever fearful they'd randomly grow back up if I left my earrings out for too long, and clasped my necklace around my neck. Tugging my socks and shoes on, I felt complete.

When I exited the changing tent, only Vic was standing there waiting for me.

"Ready?" He asked, smiling at me.

"Ready." I gave him a short nod. He held his arm out for me, and I rolled my eyes before linking our arms. This should be interesting...


	5. Never Look Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I couldn't stop smiling as I wrote this chapter oh my gosh.

"Oh my gosh, Vic look!" I half-shouted, enthusiastically pointing. "Look how pretty it is!!"

"Alf, it's a box." Vic laughed.

"Yeah, but it's a really pretty box." I nodded earnestly. We'd went into this antiques shop on the boardwalk, and I'd found the prettiest little jewellery box ever. I ran my fingers over the brass, sighing.

"You should buy it, if you love it that much." Vic nodded.

"I probably will." I grinned. I tried to open it, but it was locked. My grin quickly turned into a frown.

"What's wrong?" Vic asked, noticing my expression.

"It's locked." I told him, turning it over and over. Maybe there was a key taped somewhere. I sighed. There wasn't.

"Maybe they have a key up at the front?" Vic suggested.

"Ooh, maybe!" I beamed, then started walking towards the front. The shop was kind of crowded, but not with people. There were aisles upon aisles of antiquities. I slowly made my way to the front, careful not to tip anything over. I smiled when I saw a little old lady sitting at the front desk, knitting away at what looked to be a scarf. Which was weird considering summer is coming. "Um, excuse me..." I started as I reached her. I held the box up for her to see, giving her a smile. "Do you know if this box has a key?"

"That was my grandmother's jewellery box... Passed down from generation to generation. It came over seas with my mother from Germany during World War 2." She said slowly, her voice shaky. Her eyes crinkled up in a small smile. "I have the key here." With a shaky hand, she slowly lifted a chain from around her neck. Dangling from it was a old, brass skeleton key.

"Oh it's beautiful." I gasped, eyes widening.

"You can have it." The lady smiled, slowly unclasping the necklace. She pressed the key into my hands. "It and the box."

"Oh, I-" I started, pushing the key back. "I can't."

"No, I insist." She pressed. "I don't have any family to hand it down to. Please, take it."

"At least let me pay you for it." I stuck a hand in my pocket, pulling out my money.

"Never in a million years will I let anybody pay for this box." The woman said, very dignified. "It's an insult to it's legacy."

"Are you sure?" I frowned, looking at the box and turning it over in my hands.

"I'm absolutely certain." The woman smiled, nodding. "Just promise me you'll pass it down to your daughter, and tell her it's story."

"I promise." I nodded, smiling. I looked down at the box, and the key. "Thank you so much." I gushed, looking back up at the woman. "It means a lot to me, really."

"Take good care of it." The woman nodded. I nodded a promise, and soon Vic and I were back out on the boardwalk.

"Well that was kind of amazing." I sighed, walking slowly. I handed the box to Vic so I could clasp the necklace around my neck, the key dangling freely. He handed me the box back, and I all but cradled it in my arms.

"I can't believe she just gave it to you." Vic said, sounding just as amazed as I was.

"I can't either..." I sighed happily. We walked for a bit, just soaking up the sun. My face was burning slightly, but I didn't mind.

"We should go in here." Vic said suddenly. I followed his hand to where he was pointing, a dress shop that looked too girly for me to even consider going in. The last time I wore a dress, it at my mother's funeral.

"Are you serious?" I laughed, shaking my head at him.

"A hundred percent." He grinned. I rolled my eyes at him, but he grabbed my hand and pulled me to the shop.

"Vic, I don't wanna go in here!!" I protested, pouting.

"It'll be fun!" Vic nodded, looking around the shop. It was even more girly on the inside. Pop music was blaring over the speakers. "You don't have to buy anything."

"I'm not trying anything on, there's no point." I said stubbornly, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Every girl loves getting all dolled up." Vic nodded, already looking through the racks.

"Not this one." I sighed. He didn't reply, and my eyes started wandering around the store. People were giving us dirty looks. "Vic, people are starting to stare, we stick out like sore thumbs in here. _Please_ can we just go?"

"Pfft, imagine if you'd've come in here with Tony or Mike." Vic scoffed, grinning at me. "Then you'd really be getting the stares."

"Victor Vincent Fuentes, it isn't funny." I scowled, narrowing my eyes at him.

"They'll get over it, I promise." Vic nodded at me.

"Vic, can we _please_ just _leave_?" I practically begged. Being in enclosed spaces freaked me out. I was fine with the antiques shop, the door had been wide open. The door here was heavy and closed quickly, and I didn't like that.

"Just try on a few dresses, then we can leave." Vic nodded.

"I hate you." I scowled. Vic handed me a dress in response. I stared at it for a moment, then sighed. "A _few_ dresses, and that's _it_."

"Go try that one on." Vic nodded. "I'll have some more in a second."

"I really hate you." I scowled, quickly moving to the back of the store where the fitting rooms were, locking myself in one. I tried to control my hands, tried to keep them from shaking. "I can unlock the door at any time." I murmured under my breath. "I have the control here."

I pulled my tank top and jeans off, facing away from the mirror so I didn't have to see my scars. The dress was floral, with a thin brown braided belt around it. I slipped it on over my head, and it fell just above my knees. I turned to face the mirror. I looked absolutely nothing like myself.

"Alf?" Vic's voice floated through the door. "I wanna see you in that dress!!"

"Do I have to?" I whined, pouting, even though he couldn't see me. "I look ridiculous."

"Now what was the point of you trying it on if I don't get to see?" Vic laughed. "Besides, I have more dresses, and you have to come out here to get them."

"You could toss them over the door!" I smirked.

"What if they fly into a light and catch on fire?" He retorted. I sighed.

"Viiiccc," I whined, stomping my foot. "I look stupid."

"I bet you look outstanding." Vic said, the grin shining through his voice. I closed my eyes, and with a sudden burst of courage, I opened the door.

Vic didn't say anything at first. My eyes were still shut, and I got nervous. I peeked them open, and he was staring at me like he'd seen a ghost or something.

"Well I know I look awful but you could _at least_ say something..." I muttered, looking down at my bare feet.

"That actually..." Vic started. It was like he couldn't find the words. He cleared his throat. "That looks really good."

"Yeah, right." I scoffed, rolling my eyes.

"No, really." Vic insisted, nodding. "It looks really good on you." I rolled my eyes again, and he handed me the stack of dresses he had over his arm. "Try these on."

"Well jeez Vic, are you making me try on the entire store??" I laughed, grimacing at the weight of the dresses.

"Just the ones I think will look good on you." Vic grinned. I rolled my eyes, turning back into the dressing room, hanging the dresses up. He'd given me five more. I sighed, slipping the dress off over my head. I picked the first dress on the rack, a white one with black polka dots. I wrinkled my nose at it. Polka dots have never been my thing. It had a zip in the back, and I couldn't get it zipped al the way, no matter what I did.

"Vic, help." I pouted, walking out of the dressing room. I turned around and pulled my hair over, showing him the zip. He immediately walked over and zipped it up, and it may have just been me, but I swear his hands lingered on my back longer than necessary. I let my hair fall back down and turned to face him.

"That one doesn't look as good as the other one." Vic frowned. "No, I don't like that at all. Go get another one." He waved me into the dressing room, and for what felt like the millionth time today, I sighed and rolled my eyes.

The next dress was white at the top with short sleeves and had mint, grey, and black stripes on the bottom. It fit weird, and was really low cut, and the shoulders were made funny so you could see my bra straps, but I didn't really care.

"Okay so this dress is weird." I said, walking out.

"You still look really good though." Vic grinned.

"Pfft, yeah right." I laughed. "Mint doesn't look good on me at all."

"Oh just go try on the rest." Vic laughed.

The next two were weird. One was a gross green lace one with an orangey belt and flower thing, and the other was a coral one shouldered dress with a weird ruffle at the top.

"Vic, I look like, twelve years old in this one." I scowled, pulling the zip up the side. The last dress was literally nothing but white lace. It had cap sleeves and fell just above my knee.

"I still want to see you!!" Vic shouted.

"I look stupid." I whined. "I feel like a child."

"Alfreda, just let me see!" Vic sounded annoyed. "That's the last one I promise, just get out-"

Vic was silenced as I walked out of the changing room. His mouth fell open, and he just stared at me.

"Okay, you can stop staring now..." I muttered, looking at my feet in an attempt to hide the blush spreading across my cheeks.

"You look..." Vic trailed off, still staring.

"Like a child?" I scowled.

"I was going to say amazing." Vic nodded. I scoffed, crossing my arms over my chest. "No, I mean it. You look absolutely amazing."

"Yeah, sure." I rolled my eyes.

"Alright, go put your clothes on, you're getting that dress." Vic nodded, waving me back into the changing room.

"You said I didn't have to buy anything!!" I protested.

"I never said you were paying for it." Vic smirked, giving me a small shove back into the dressing room. I groaned, but soon I was back in my normal clothes. Vic grabbed the dress from me the second I walked back out, and he all but ran to the front to buy it.

"I hate you, Victor Vincent Fuentes..." I scowled as we left the store. My jewelry box had been put in the bag with the dress Vic bought for me. We walked down the boardwalk, Vic smiling like he'd just achieved his life dreams.

"No you don't." Vic grinned at me, nudging my shoulder.

"Pretty sure I do." I nodded.

"Are you ready to head back?" Vic asked, gesturing towards the beach.

"Yeah, actually, I kind of am." I sighed. As much as I wanted to stay on the boardwalk, I was really starting to miss Tony.

Together we walked down the boardwalk back to the beach. He wouldn't let me carry my bag, which made me kind of angry but also kind of amused me. Like he thinks I'm some sort of delicate flower or something. Or he was flirting... I couldn't stop thinking about what Tony said.

_"I think Vic likes you."_

I shook my head quickly, clearing my mind of the words.

"You alright?" Vic asked, looking concerned.

"Yeah, I think there's water in my ear..." I quickly made up a lie, shaking my head again. He thankfully bought it, and didn't really speak again until we found Tony and the others.

Jaime and Mike were in the water, but Tony was sitting on the sand on his phone. I held a finger up to my lips to Jaime and Mike to tell them to ignore me. They did just that, going about their business like I wasn't even there.

I slowly snuck up on Tony, glad I was walking on sand because it didn't really make much noise when I stepped. Then, when I was right behind him, I kneeled down close to his ear.

"Miss me?" I whispered in Tony's ear. Tony's arms and legs flailed as he turned to see who it was, then let out a sigh of relief as he realised it was me.

"Alfreda Kimberly Means!!" Tony shouted, too shaken to get anything else out.

"That's the second time you've used my full name today." I laughed, sitting down beside him.

"That's also the second time you've terrified me half to death today." Tony nodded, acting like a dad.

"Oh well." I shrugged, leaning on his shoulder again. I hadn't changed back into my swimsuit, nor did I want to. I needed to be out in the sun for a while, even if my face did burn. My legs were stark white and so were my arms. "God how I've missed the sun..."

"You never got out any after you moved?" Tony looked at me like I was insane.

"For the first four years, I was lucky to see the sun through a window..." I murmured. I didn't really want to talk about it, but Tony deserved to know. "Then dad met my stepmom and lightened up a bit, we went outside every now and then but it was extremely rare. I was outside for like three minutes a day for my job, and that was just to walk from the car into the building..."

"I'm so sorry Alfie." Tony sighed sadly, wrapping an arm around me.

"It's in the past now." I shrugged, giving him a small smile. "I'm free now, and I'm never looking back."

"It's just..." Tony started, frowning. "I wish you would've contacted me sooner, got out faster..."

"I was scared..." I admitted. And it was true. My father is a terrifying man. He stands about six and a half foot tall and weighs about two hundred and fifty pounds. He's good at getting his way, very charming. And I swear, that man could convince you to do anything he wanted you to do. I shuddered at the thought. "It's a miracle I got out when I did..."

"Well, you're here now, and that's all that matters." Tony nodded. He raised an imaginary glass, grinning. "To never looking back."

"To never looking back." I grinned, clinking my own imaginary glass with his. I watched as Vic tackled Jaime in the water, sighing softly. I picked up Tony's hand, looking at the tattoos there. "I really love your tattoos."

"Thank you, I guess?" Tony chuckled, turning his hands over.

"I want a tattoo..." I frowned. Then I looked up at Tony. "Tony, can I get a tattoo?"

"Well it's your body, isn't it?" Tony laughed. "Do with it what you want."

"That's not what my dad thought..." I muttered, but it was low enough that Tony didn't even hear it. "I don't know what I'd get."

"Well my first tattoo was a turtle." Tony laughed, pointing to the turtle tattoo on his arm.

"Hmm..." I hummed, frowning. There were so many tattoos I'd seen and wanted, but none of them seemed first tattoo worthy.

I leaned back on my hands, face towards the sun. I was soaking up as much of it as I could.

Then, after what seemed like ages but only a few seconds, it hit me.

"Never look back..." I murmured. Tony looked at me sideways. "Never look back. It's the perfect first tattoo."

"That would be cool..." Tony nodded. "On your shoulder, so you'd have to look back to see it."

"Oh, irony!" I grinned. "Perfect. My favourite dramatic device."

"Alfreda, you are the only person I know who has a 'favourite dramatic device'." Tony laughed.

"I'm sure everybody from my theater class does." I nodded earnestly.

"You're the only person I knew in that class!" Tony protested.

"I didn't really know anybody either." I laughed. "They were all idiots."

Soon, the other guys came back up to the beach, complaining that they were tired.

"Well I think Alfie has one more stop she'd like to make before we go home..." Tony grinned.

"I would actually like to go home and take a shower first." I nodded. "I smell like the sea."

"Where are you going?" Jaime asked, tilting his head.

"Alfreda's going to get her first tattoo." Tony grinned smugly.

"Oooooh what are you getting?" Jaime was suddenly an excited fangirl.

"A surprise." I smirked. "But we should go. It's like, almost seven."

"Oh no, it's so late!!" Jaime pressed the back of his hand to his forehead dramatically, and I scowled at him.

"It'll take a while to get home, then I need to shower, and then yeah." I defended myself. "I'm used to being in bed by ten at the latest."

"Well come on then, stop your blabbering and get up!" Vic laughed. I gladly obliged, quickly jumping up and brushing the sand from my legs.

"I'm so excited oh my god." I beamed excitedly, bouncing on the balls of my feet. "I always wanted tattoos. My parents wouldn't sign for them and I never got the chance to get one before I had to move..." I trailed off, frowning. "I had to do my nose and cartilage piercings myself."

"You did those yourself??" Jaime looked at me in disbelief. We had started walking towards the cars.

"Well I wanted them and it was obvious that my dad wasn't going to take me to get one so I ordered a kit online and did it myself." I shrugged. "No big deal really."

"Vic cried when he got his nose pierced." Mike was wide eyed as well. "And you actually managed to shove a needle through your own nose??"

"It only hurt for a bit." I shrugged again. But really, what's a bit of pain to somebody who digs a blade into her skin every night? I looked at Vic, grinning. "You cried when you got your nose pierced?"

"There's some kind of nerve that makes your eyes water when you do it, I didn't _cry_!" Vic shot a glare at Mike.

"My eyes didn't water." I grinned, even though they had. Just a little.

We were soon all in our cars and headed back to Tony's house. Mike and Jaime had left their cars there. I don't think they were going to come with me and Tony to get my tattoo, but I had a feeling Vic was going to.

I realised in the shower that I would probably have to take my shirt off to get the tattoo on my shoulder. I wanted it on my back really. And I was not about to take my shirt off, revealing scars and fresh cuts, in front of some random guy, and especially not in front of Tony.

So I decided I was going to wear a tank top under my shirt. And, as an excuse to actually wear the tank top, I wore my shredded t shirt. I could just get the guy to pull my tank top strap down.

I pulled on some socks and found my Converse I had buried deep in my duffle bag. My running shoes were too clunky to wear on a regular basis. I dried my hair quickly, and pulled it up into a bun to keep it off my shoulders.

True to my predictions, Jaime and Mike stayed, while Tony and Vic came with me. Of course, Tony knew just the guy to go to.

It was a little past seven thirty when we pulled up to the tattoo place. It wasn't busy, but the lights on inside showed it was still open.

Tony pretty much knew everybody inside. He talked to a tall, heavily tattooed man with gauges bigger than his about my tattoo, while I looked around at pictures on the walls. There were some great tattoo ideas there, but none compared to mine.

The guy, who's name I learned to be Rick, handed me a book that was literally just full of fonts for me to look at. It took me a bit, but with the help of Tony and Vic, I decided on a simple scroll-y font.

I was taken back into a little room, and Tony got lost somewhere along the way. I think he was talking to a different artist about working on one of his tattoos, I don't know.

"You said you wanted it on your back?" Rick asked as he gathered all of his stuff. I nodded shortly, and he nodded with me. He looked a bit awkward. After a few moments of silence, he spoke up again. "You realise you'll have to take your shirt off?"

"I-I, uhm..." I stuttered awkwardly, scratching at the back of my neck. "Could I just take this top off-" I pulled at the t shirt I had on, "-and just pull the straps on my tank top and bra down?"

"Yeah that'll work." He nodded. I sighed, and thanked my lucky stars that I was so adamant about the fact that I was going to be an actress when I was younger so my mom put me through acting classes.

I took the t shirt off and adjusted the straps so they weren't in the way, and Rick grabbed some tape and taped them down so they would /stay/ out of the way. I laid down on my stomach on the chair/table thing in the middle do the room, wincing at the sharp pain in my stomach. I crossed my arms in front of my chest, resting my head on them.

"You alright?" Vic asked, looking concerned. He had been staring intently at me for the past few minutes.

"Yeah, the leather's just cold." I laughed. Vic pulled up a chair in front of me and sat down, folding his arms on the table and leaning forward so he could sit in the same way I was. His face was mere inches from mine.

I flinched as Rick's hands touched my shoulder where the tattoo was going to be.

"Calm down, it's just the transfer paper." Vic nodded, his voice low and strangely soothing. I wasn't nervous about the tattoo, I was nervous about the fact that Rick had closed the door before he'd done that and a man I barely knew was touching me. I moved so my forehead was on my arms instead of my chin, squeezing my eyes shut. I tried telling myself that the door could be opened at any time, and Rick was just the tattoo guy. I wanted this. "Hey..." Vic murmured, and when I looked up at him, he was frowning slightly. "You don't have to do this you know. You can do it some other time."

"It's not that, it's just..." I trailed off, unsure of how to explain it. "Do you think you could open the door for me, please?"

"Of course." Vic nodded, smiling. He gave me a quick kiss on the top of my head, which was weird but oddly comforting. I let out a sigh of relief as Vic pushed the door wide open.

"Thank you." I smiled. He took his spot back in front of me, taking one of my hands in his this time. "I'm just super claustrophobic."

"I understand." Vic nodded.

 _No, you really don't._ I thought bitterly. I heard the tattoo gun start up behind me, and buried my head in my arms again.

"And you're absolutely sure about this?" Vic and Rick asked me at the same time. I looked up at Vic, and he just looked so concerned I wanted to cry.

"Let's do it." I grinned. I felt a pinching sensation on my back that soon blossomed into a small burning pain. I grimaced, but the pain was tolerable.

I laid there for a bit, eyes closed, trying to relax. I kept having to remind myself that I was literally paying Rick to do this.

"Oh, damn..." I muttered, opening my eyes to look at Vic. He had his eyes closed too, just laying there relaxing as I was, but opened them when I spoke. "I was going to bring headphones, that buzzing is going to drive me insane."

Vic started humming, and it took me a second to place it, but once he hit a specific note I immediately got it.

"Of course you would start humming your own song." I laughed. The song was I'm Low On Gas and You Need a jacket. Vic merely nodded and continued.

Three (exclusively Pierce the Veil) songs later, Tony finally found his way back to me. He knocked on the door frame to announce his appearance, and Vic immediately sat up straight in his chair, making me roll my eyes.

"Oh, you did want this to say 'never look forwards', right?" Tony sounded concerned as he looked over Rick's work.

"Oh shut up." I laughed, sticking my tongue out at him. He pulled another chair up in front of me, next to Vic, who was fidgeting nervously.

"Does it hurt?" Tony asked, like he didn't know.

"No, it feels like butterfly kisses." I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. Tony and Vic laughed, as did Ricky, though that made me slightly nervous. "It hurts a little but not so bad that I can't handle it."

"Good, you're not a wimp." Vic grinned.

"Says the man with no tattoos." I stuck my tongue out at him.

"I just don't want any." Vic shrugged.

The tattoo only took about an hour, and I was absolutely ecstatic with it. I couldn't see it, even if I did look back, I had to get Tony to take pictures of it.

I couldn't really sit back in the car as my shoulder was still kind of sore, but I didn't mind one bit.

"You guys are _still_ here?" Tony asked when we got back to the house. Jaime and Mike were just chilling on the couch watching some TV show or movie or something, I don't know.

"Well Alysha is off doing some photo shoot and Jess is visiting with her family." Mike nodded.

"So we're just gonna crash here for the night!" Jaime grinned.

"Perfect." Tony laughed.

"Enough chit chat, I wanna see the new ink!!" Jaime beamed, practically bouncing on his seat. I pulled my t-shirt off and moved my tank top strap down and turned so Mike and Jaime could see.

They spent a few minutes fawning over the tattoo and asking stupid questions like "did it hurt", and then I went to put some pyjamas on because jeans suck.

"What are we even watching?" I asked, sitting on the couch between Jaime and Tony.

"The Hangover." Mike nodded, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"What's that?" I asked, confused. "It sounds really dumb. Who wants to watch a movie about a hangover? Aren't those supposed to be really shitty?"

"Are you being serious right now?" Jaime turned to me, incredulous. "Literally everybody knows at least what this movie is."

"I've been in complete isolation for nine years." I frowned. "I haven't watched TV since we moved, haven't seen any new movies. I barely watched anything at all."

"God, I forget how socially deprived you are." Jaime sighed.

"We need to just... Catch you up on everything you've missed in the last decade." Tony nodded.

"We'll have plenty of time for that later." I grinned. "But you know what we should _actually_ do?"

"What?" Tony looked hesitant.

"Play that game of truth or dare." I smirked.


	6. Truth or Dare?

"I feel like I'm about thirteen years old." Jaime groaned as we all formed a circle on the floor.   
  
"This is going to be really fun, I promise." I grinned. I was sat between Tony and Jaime, with Vic beside Jaime and Mike between Tony and Vic.   
  
"Just a warning: I'm really bad at the questions and stuff so I'll probably end up googling them." Tony laughed.   
  
"There's probably an app for that." Jaime nodded.   
  
"A truth or dare app?" I was skeptical. Surely nobody wanted to make one. "Like for a phone?"   
  
"Alf, there's nearly an app for everything." Jaime looked at me like I was stupid. "Why wouldn't there be?"  
  
"I don't know!" I frowned. "I barely know how to work my phone."  
  
"Ah, Fettuccine, you have so much to learn." Mike sighed, laughing slightly.   
  
"I literally only ever used my phone to text and call my father." I shrugged. "I never had any reason to do anything else with it. I only had one to contact him, and he constantly wanted me to have the newest version of everything."   
  
"Found one!" Tony shouted, holding up his phone. "I just gotta type in all of our names."  
  
"Well that's nifty." I grinned, leaning on Tony to watch him as he entered in names. He shook the phone, and the list scrolled through all the names, landing on Mike.   
  
"Alright, Mikey, looks like you're up first." Tony grinned, looking at Mike. "Truth or dare?"   
  
"Dare of course." Mike nodded. Tony clicked the red "dare" button on the screen, and it popped up with a speech bubble.   
  
"Eskimo kiss with a player of your choice." Tony read, a slight laugh in his voice. I couldn't stop smiling. This was such a good idea.   
  
I froze as Mike leaned forwards and started crawling towards me. He smirked, and I leaned back slightly out of instinct. Mike got right up in my face, and grinned as he rubbed his nose against mine. Everybody else burst into laughter, and I felt my face go a blood red.   
  
"I-I- uhm..." I stuttered as Mike moved back to his spot. Never in a million years did I think he would choose me for that.   
  
"Aww, Fettuccine's blushing." Mike smirked, leaning back on his hands.   
  
"Shut up, I wasn't expecting you to do that." I mumbled, staring at my hands in my lap. I turned to Tony, eager to change the subject. "Who's next?"   
  
"I think Mike should do it since it was his turn last." Tony nodded, sliding his phone across the floor to Mike. "You just shake it."   
  
"Alright..." Mike nodded, shaking the phone. He laughed and looked up. "Tony, truth or dare."   
  
"Umm..." Tony laughed, thinking. "Truth I guess."  
  
"Boring." Mike rolled his eyes, tapping the screen. "Which player do you think will become the richest?"  
  
"Well, Alfie-" Tony paused to wrap an arm around me, "-is going to be an big time movie actress some day, so I say it's her."   
  
"Oh, sure." I laughed, rolling my eyes. "Like that's ever going to happen."   
  
"It will!!" Tony nodded matter-of-factly. He caught his phone as Mike slid it back to him. I watched it scroll through names, landing on Jaime's. "Truth or dare, Hime-Time?"  
  
"Dare, of course." Jaime looked at Tony like he was insane for even asking. Tony hit the red button on the screen and I watched as the dare popped up.   
  
"Hop on one foot for thirty seconds with your hands on your head." Tony read, grinning. Jaime groaned, but stood up. Mike pulled his phone out, and I assumed he was recording it.   
  
"One one thousand, two one thousand-" I counted as Jaime started hopping. I didn't even get to ten seconds before he fell over on top of Mike.   
  
"Okay I'm done." Jaime laughed, sitting back in his spot. "No more."   
  
"Uh-uh," Mike shook his head. "You gotta go the full thirty seconds or else it doesn't count."   
  
"Yeah come on, you're already a third of the way there." I grinned. Jaime glared at me, standing back up.   
  
He fell over two more times and nearly did a third time before he finally got in the whole thirty seconds. I couldn't breathe I was laughing so hard.   
  
"Haha, funny." Jaime rolled his eyes, nudging me in the side with his elbow.   
  
"This was such a great idea." I beamed, leaning on Jaime's shoulder. He immediately pushed me off, making me fall over on Tony. I sat back up, glaring at Jaime and speaking in a scandalous tone, my voice getting louder until it was practically a screech. "How  _dare_  you touch me!! How  _dare_  you touch the queen without permission!!"  
  
"Queen of what?" Tony laughed. "Queen of Drama, most likely!!"  
  
"Damn straight." I nodded, crossing my arms.   
  
"Alright, drama queen, hush." Tony laughed. He slid the phone over to Jaime, who shook it, then looked straight at me with an evil expression.   
  
"Alfreda, truth..." Jaime started dramatically, grinning maniacally. "Or... Dare?"  
  
"Dare!" I responded, just as dramatic. He clicked the screen, then handed me the phone instead of reading it off. I was confused, but read it, and then it made sense.   
  
 _Tell everyone you are doing a charade and they have to guess what it is. Act out: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows._  
  
"Is that one of the books?" I frowned, looking at Jaime. "I don't understand, I've never read that one."  
  
"Surely you've seen the movie??" Jaime looked confused, about as confused as I felt.   
  
"No!!" I shouted, frowning.   
  
"You seriously don't know the Deathly Hallows?" Jaime repeated, shocked.   
  
"Does nobody understand that I was cut off from civilisation with boy a care in the world for nine years??" I laughed, incredulous. "Seriously, none of you seem to get that. I didn't get any books or watch any movies. I was on the internet for bands, and that was literally it. I didn't talk to anybody. I didn't do anything. Total radio silence for nine, almost ten, years!!"  
  
"Sorry, Alfreda." Tony frowned, pulling me into a weird side hug. I sighed, leaning my head on his shoulder.  "It's just weird to think about."  
  
"Although now I'm gonna have to sit you down and make you watch all the Harry Potter movies." Mike grinned.   
  
"Done deal." I grinned. "I only read up to the Order of the Phoenix, and i watched the Prisoner of Azkaban."  
  
"Oh god, there's so much you don't know..." Mike was practically in despair.   
  
"I don't want to know who dies." I warned, pointing at Mike, who only laughed.   
  
"Regardless, you need another dare to do..." Jaime nodded, shaking the phone and tapping the screen. "Oh great, another charade."  
  
 _Tell everyone you are doing a charade and they have to guess it. Act out: Star Wars._  
  
I grinned. This was so easy.   
  
"Now, Jaime's not allowed to guess because he read it..." I nodded, standing up. I moved to stand behind Tony, and just pointed at him.   
  
"Turtle!" Vic shouted instantly.   
  
"No." I laughed. They all looked confused, so I got back down in the floor next to Tony and grabbed his hands, forming them into fists. I moved his hands so everybody could read the tattoo there.   
  
"Star Wars!!" Tony yelled, excited.   
  
"Yes!" I beamed, giving Tony a high five. I smirked at Jaime, glad my dare was so easy while his took ages.   
  
"That's cheating, you can't use words in charades!!" Jaime scowled.   
  
"I believe the official rules are you can't write anything down." I grinned.   
  
"Oh let's just get on with the game." Mike rolled his eyes. "I swear, you two fight like an old married couple."  
  
"Oh, ew." I shook my head quickly as Jaime handed me the phone. "Sorry Jaime, but never in a million years."   
  
"Oh thanks." Jaime rolled his eyes, an action that seemed to be very popular tonight. "Big confidence booster there Freddo."   
  
"You're welcome." I shook the phone, then looked up again. "Vic, truth or dare?"  
  
"Uhh, let's go with truth." Vic nodded.   
  
"Lameee." I smirked at him before hitting the blue button on the screen. "Have you ever been in the newspaper, and if so, why?"  
  
"I think Mike and I were in the newspaper when the band first started off actually..." Vic said, looking over at Mike, who nodded in confirmation. "Yeah, I was then."   
  
"Mom still has the clipping taped to her fridge." Mike laughed, shaking his head. I slid the phone over to Vic, who shook it.   
  
The game went on like this for a while. Mike chose dare every single time, Jaime mainly chose dares but answered a couple truths, Tony stuck to truths in the beginning but chose a few dares after a bit of prodding. Vic and I had a healthy mix of both truth and dare. It was all pretty hilarious, and tons of videos were taken.   
  
"Tony, truth or dare?" Jaime asked. It was nearly midnight, but none of us were tired. I felt like I could conquer the world I was so happy. It had started storming about an hour ago, and rain was beating heavily down on the roof and thunder was cracklings every so often. I loved storms though, so I didn't mind. We had put music on the stereo, an old All Time Low CD. I didn't want anything heavy.   
  
"Truth." Tony nodded. Jaime tapped the screen and grinned.   
  
"Tell us about an embarrassing crush you've had." Jaime read off slightly dramatically. I watched as Tony's face flushed bright red, and he kept glancing over at me.   
  
"I- I uhm..." Tony stuttered nervously, scratching at the back of his neck. I smirk, knowing what he's going to say. "Alfie, actually. In school."  
  
The entire group aww'd, I shit you not.   
  
"So this whole time, we've been shipping Jaime and Alfreda together, when really it should have been Tony and Alfreda!!" Mike grinned. Vic was weirdly silent.   
  
"Nobody's shipping anybody." Tony scowled.   
  
"Sure, whatever you say Tone." Jaime smirked as he slid the phone to Tony. Tony was grateful to be able to change the subject, and nearly threw the phone from shaking it so fast.   
  
"Alf, truth or dare?" Tony asked, looking to me. His face was still bright red.   
  
"Dare." I nodded, confidence flowing through me. Tony tapped the screen and his face grew even redder, but he looked conflicted, like he was about to shake the phone again just to get a different dare, if only he could shake off the shocked expression. "What is it?"  
  
"Reenact your first kiss with the player to your left." Tony managed to get out.   
  
"Oh my god." I giggled, then covered my mouth to muffle the noise. I couldn't stop laughing.   
  
 _Tony_  was to my left.   
  
"This situation is actually weirdly accurate to my first kiss, so there's not much to act out." I laughed, and before anybody could say anything, I leaned over and kissed Tony on the lips.   
  
Every. Body. Screamed.   
  
I swear, they nearly burst my eardrums. I pulled away from Tony after literally a millisecond, and he was just sat there in shock. I don't think he ever realised that the kiss we were dared to do at that party all those years ago was my first. Mike was shouting "get it!!" over and over and Jaime was laughing like a damn maniac. Vic's expression was unreadable.   
  
 _"I think Vic likes you."_  
  
"Whoa, did I see you kissing her back, Tone?" Mike teased as I moved back to my spot and grabbed the phone from Tony, who was now babbling incoherently. Tony furiously shook his head.   
  
"Alright, let's see who's next." I grinned, shaking the phone like nothing had even happened. "Jaime, truth or dare?"  
  
"Dare." Jaime nodded, still laughing his ass off.   
  
"Exchange an item of clothing with the person to your left and to your right." I read off, then realised I was to his left.   
  
"This should be interesting, considering you're tiny and Mike's a twig." Jaime laughed.   
  
"You could take my sweatshirt." I nodded, waving my arms to show how big my sweatshirt was. It was my sweatshirt with Austin Carlisle printed on it, and I'd ordered the largest size available when I bought it. I didn't mind taking it off either, I had a tank top on underneath.   
  
"Mike, give me your sweatpants." Jaime nodded quickly, already pulling off his shirt. I was a little shocked, I didn't expect him to do it right here, but once I thought about it, what else was there to expect?  
  
A few minutes later, I was wearing Jaime's shirt, which was entirely too big for me and hung past my shorts, and Mike had on Jaime's jeans, which were also too big on his twig legs. Jaime was wearing Mike's sweatpants and my sweatshirt, which was actually really funny, mainly because of the image printed on the sweatshirt. I know it's common for band members to wear other bands' merch, but not ones with the lead singer just performing his heart out on stage. Mike made sure to get pictures of it, telling Jaime he was going to send it to Austin later.   
  
And then the night went kind of bad.   
  
"Alright, Alfreda, truth or dare?" Jaime asked.   
  
"Dare, even though I just went." I laughed.   
  
"Let someone tie your wrists together until you complete another dare." Jaime read, and my stomach dropped. There was no way I could do that. I absolutely, could not do this dare.   
  
"Okay." I nodded, looking around. "With what?"   
  
"I'm not sure..." Jaime looked around as well.   
  
"I could go get a shoelace from my tennis shoes?" I offered. What am I even doing. I absolutely cannot do this dare. But I can't reveal too much.   
  
"That would work." Jaime nodded. I stood up and went into the room that Tony had told me would be mine, and grabbed one of my running shoes, yanking the lace out.   
  
"Here, Vic, you do it." I said, tossing the lace at Vic as I walked back into the living room. I don't know why I chose Vic, I just did. Maybe I trusted him enough to not tie it so tight.   
  
I held my wrists out to him, holding them together in a way that would hide the scars there. I really didn't feel like letting anybody see them.   
  
Vic tied them in a loseish knot, but he double knotted the bow so I couldn't get out easily. I was starting to feel queasy, and my heart rate was increasing.   
  
I kept telling myself that this shouldn't be too hard, that I'll get selected for another turn soon and I can take it off.   
  
But I was wrong. It went from Tony to Vic to Jaime to Mike and back to Jaime and I was starting to think that I would never get to take it off. I was seriously considering begging them to let me remove it.   
  
Then, the night went from kinda bad to really bad.   
  
A huge crack of thunder rumbled through the house, and the lights flickered once, twice, and then went out completely.   
  
The entire street's power had gone out. It was pitch black, I couldn't see at all, and my hands were tied. Somebody was screaming, and it took me a second to realise that it was me.   
  
I was somehow back in that room, the room that haunted my nightmares and fuelled my terror. I couldn't move, I couldn't see. I kept screaming, but nothing fixed it.   
  
"Alfreda!!" I heard my father's voice, but it had a tone of concern that never had. It couldn't be my father. "Alfreda, you need to calm down, breathe." The voice slowly morphed into a kinder one, one that brought calm and peace, not fear.   
  
"Tony-" I sobbed. I could barely breathe. I reached out, but my wrists were still tied. I pulled against the bonds, so hard I was sure I'd broken both of my wrists.   
  
"Alfreda, calm down." Tony's voice was firm but soothing. "We're gonna untie the lace, but we can't with you thrashing around like this."   
  
I immediately stilled. I was afraid of what would happen if I didn't listen.   
  
"Nobody's going to hurt you Alfreda, calm down." Tony murmured. He finally got the lace off of my hands, and I immediately curled up into a ball, making myself as tiny as possible.   
  
I stayed like that for who knows how long. When I looked up, Tony was sat in front of me, looking extremely concerned. He quirked an eyebrow at me, silently asking if I was okay.   
  
"I'm f-fine." I nodded. My voice was still shaky, but I was okay. "I uhm... I'm okay. I just... I'm sorry. I don't even know what happened."   
  
"You had a panic attack." Vic spoke up. He was sat off to the side of me, and I suddenly became aware of the fact that I was literally surrounded. Mike and Jaime were on my other side, and I felt my breathing quicken again. I tried to ask them to move back, but it was like my vocal cords were frozen. I pulled my head down between my knees, rocking back and forth slightly.   
  
"Oh, shit, she's claustrophobic guys, back up." Somebody said. The voice quickly registered in my mind: Vic. It took less time to calm down this time, but when I did, I felt sick, like I was about to throw up, and I was extremely tired.   
  
"I think I wanna go to bed." I nodded. I could hardly think straight I was so tired.   
  
"Are you going to be okay?" Tony was still concerned. The others had literally moved to the other side of the room. "You still look really shaken up."  
  
"Um, maybe?" I wasn't really sure. All I wanted to do was cut. That's literally all I could think about. Tony raised his eyebrow again. "I'll be okay. I just need to sleep."   
  
"Has something like that ever happened before?" Vic asked. I shook my head, attempting to stand up. My legs felt like jello and I nearly fell over, but Tony caught me.   
  
"Here, at least let me help you to bed." Tony nodded. He wrapped one arm around my waist, about to pull me up, but at this point, any and all contact was  _not_  welcome. I whimpered at his touch and cringed away. The look of hurt etched onto Tony's face froze my stomach into a stone.   
  
"I'm s-sorry." I practically sobbed. I needed to control my actions. They'll never let me be alone at this point. "Just- please, don't touch me. I'm okay. I p-promise, just... Don't t-touch me."   
  
"Okay..." Tony was still hurt, but he wasn't being dumb and insisting on helping me, which I liked. Slower this time, I stood up. Tony hovered behind me, ready to catch me if I fell. I went straight to my room and crawled in bed. I had a pounding headache, and my entire body was sore. "Do you need anything?" Tony asked, frowning. I shook my head, but winced as a new wave of pain rushed through my brain. "Head hurt?" Tony gave me a small smile. I nodded, mainly because I felt like if I spoke I would throw up. "I'll go get you some aspirin."   
  
And then I was alone. Tony closed the door behind him, which was starting to make me panic again. I couldn't get up and open it thought I was too weak to even think about crawling out of bed. I curled up into a ball and just cried. Tony was coming back, I couldn't risk cutting right now. I just didn't want to exist right now. 


	7. Hey Jude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING FOR NON GRAPHIC RAPE/NON CON AND SEXUAL ABUSE AND SELF HARM IN THIS CHAPTER. IF YOU THINK YOU WILL BE TRIGGERED PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS STORY AT ALL BC IT PLAYS A HUGE ROLE IN IT I'M SORRY

I listened to Tony walk to the kitchen, flinching as I heard cabinets being flung open. I heard somebody, most likely Vic, talk to him in a low tone, I couldn't really hear what he said, despite having perfect hearing.   
  
"I can't calm down!!" Tony yelled suddenly, and I heard a bang, like he'd slammed his fists down on the counter. I wanted to pull a pillow over my ears and just block them out but for some reason I wanted to listen. "Alfreda she... She's practically my little sister. I can't even imagine what she went through that would cause a panic like that, and I really don't want to know."   
  
"Well the last thing we need is for you to go on a rampage." Somebody else said. I'm pretty sure it was Jaime.   
  
"I'll talk to her, okay Tone?" Vic's voice still had that calming tone to it. "It's easier for a stranger to hear all of it than a loved one and all that, yeah?"  
  
I didn't hear Tony's response, it got kind of quiet after that. I curled up, trying to ignore the pounding in my head. I didn't need painkillers. I needed more pain.   
  
"Alfreda?" I heard Vic's voice from the doorway. I turned to face him, eyes squinted. Tony hadn't turned the light off and it hurt my eyes. I waved with one finger, burying my face into my pillow. "Here..." Vic murmured. I heard him switch on the lamp beside the bed, and soon the overhead light flipped off. "You probably don't want the lights all the way off..."   
  
"What do you want?" I muttered, turning to face him.   
  
"I brought you some aspirin." Vic nodded, holding up a medicine bottle and a glass of water.   
  
"I don't need any painkillers." I sighed, sitting up. I must have sat up too fast, my head started spinning and my vision got black around the edges.   
  
"Take it easy, alright?" Vic said, sitting on the edge of the bed.   
  
"Whatever." I grumbled. "You're only here because you want to pick my brain."   
  
"I'm here because I care about you and Tony is..." Vic trailed off, tilting his head, like he was thinking hard on how to phrase it.   
  
"Hysterical?" I offered.   
  
"I was going to say not so calm but that works too..." Vic said, laughing slightly. His expression got serious again, and he moved to put a hand next to mine. Not on it, next to it. "Alfreda, what happened to you?"   
  
"I'm fine." My voice sounded tight. I really didn't feel like delving into my past right now. That would take up too much time.   
  
"No, Alfreda, you're not." Vic sighed.   
  
"And who the hell are you to tell me I'm not okay?!" I demanded, pointing a finger at him. "You don't know me, you don't know anything about me!! You've only just met me two days ago!"  
  
"Then, tell me about you." Vic practically pleaded, loosely grabbing my right wrist. "Please Alfreda. Tell me what happened to you."   
  
The silence that followed was deafening. I could barely breathe. I felt like I was going to have another panic attack. Thinking about it made it worse.   
  
"You'll hate me if I tell you..." I all but sobbed.   
  
"No, I won't, I promise." Vic was holding my hand now, a gesture that I shouldn't have been okay with but strangely I was. I was quiet for a bit again, and then I finally decided to just go for it.   
  
"My- my dad..." I started, trying to keep the sobs at bay. Vic prompted me to go on. "When my mom died, I got really bad. Like, really bad. I didn't get out of bed, I didn't eat. I slept most of the time, I didn't shower. I was numb to the world, it was like I was sleeping even when I was awake. My dad kept himself busy by going out and getting drunk, so I didn't have him to worry about...  
  
"And then-" my tale was cut off by a sob. I wrapped my arms around me stomach, like I was trying to hold myself together. Vic reached out for me, but I moved away. "Then my dad brought home some of his drinking buddies. They kept trying to get me to get up, fix them something to eat, do  _something_  useful.  
  
"And then one of them, I'll never forget his face, he decided that since I wasn't listening, I needed to be taught a lesson. He dragged me out of bed, ripped the clothes off of me, pushed me down on the ground, and the next thing I knew, he was standing over me, undoing his belt buckle."   
  
"Alfreda-" Vic started, but I cut him off.   
  
"That sure as hell woke me up. I was a virgin before that, I'd only ever kissed one guy and that was because of some stupid dare. I started rebelling against my father, fighting his every command. He started selling me to his friends, but I fought them every one. I actually broke one guy's nose and most of them ended up getting stitches, mainly from me biting them.  
  
"But my dad had ways of forcing me to do it. He would lock me in a closet, wrists and ankles tied together, until I agreed to do what he wanted me to. The first few times I agreed just so he would let me out. I tried to run for it a couple times, other times I fought the guy. And every time I fought somebody off, even before he started locking me in the closet, my father always made sure I came out looking worse than the other guy. I can't even begin to describe what I got for trying to run."   
  
My voice had no emotion in it at this point. I sounded like a lifeless drone, which was what I felt like. I couldn't even look at Vic, just stared at my hands in my lap, watching the tears splash onto them.   
  
"So I stopped fighting. I got bad again, and just let what happened happen. Dad didn't trust me though, and he tied me to the bed frame every time. And he always kept me blindfolded, so I couldn't see who was doing what. Sometimes customers paid extra to have me untied, sometimes they wanted extra bonds. It was different every night, but I always had the blindfold on.  
  
"He made pretty good money off me. He let me have at least two days of rest after each customer, mainly because he charged so much he could afford it. He always told me such awful things, though. That I was worthless, nothing but a cheap whore."  
  
I was sobbing now. I could hear my father's voice, screaming at me.   
  
"I never listened. I taught myself to memorise songs, and to listen to them in my head to help me get through what was happening. Your music helped a lot, though it was mainly because I knew Tony was playing. He always said he'd be in a band someday, and it made me happy that he achieved that.   
  
"Then my dad met my stepmom and he stopped selling me, for appearances sake. He told me one night in a drunken stupor that he was only marrying her for her money. Her father was some hotshot in the stock market, and she was practically loaded. Dad needed more income though, what she had was never enough, and made me get a job, working ten hours a day with only Sunday off. I would've worked Sundays too if the shop I worked in was open then.   
  
"He sold me for five years. I worked at the grocery store for four. And then I got out. And those nine years felt like an eternity. And I'm so, so grateful that I was able to get out and Tony came and got me and got me out of that wretched place." I sobbed, curling up into a ball, bent over so my head was nearly on the bed. I couldn't hold them back anymore. I locked my fingers over the back of my neck, rocking slightly. I was only just containing the screams that wanted to get out. "So that's what caused the panic attack I guess. I was tied up and couldn't see, I may as well have been back in that room with some stranger."  
  
"Alfreda," Vic started, like he was unsure of what to say.   
  
"And I'm so- scared of Tony- finding out." I managed to get out between sobs. "He'll hate me and- think I'm a worthless- wh-whore and make me leave and I'll have nowhere to g-go. Vic p-please don't make- make me leave."   
  
"Alfreda, Tony's not going to make you leave if he finds out, he's not like that, I swear." Vic assured me, rubbing large, slow circles on my back.   
  
"I'm honestly surprised you haven't run away screaming yet." I let out a bitter laugh. "Or that you can stand to touch me like you are."  _Or that I can stand you touching me._ "I'm disgusting."   
  
"No, Alfreda, you're not." Vic reassured me sternly. I sat up and looked at him fully. He had a strange expression on his face. A little worry, some concern. Mostly fear. He was afraid of me.   
  
"Then why are you afraid of me?" I demanded. He looked shocked. "Oh don't even try to deny it, I'm good at reading expressions, yours is full of fear."  
  
"Alfreda, I'm not scared  _of_  you, I'm scared  _for_  you." Vic was incredulous now. "What you've been through, I honestly don't see how you made it."   
  
"I told you, I blocked everything out by listening to music in my head." I shrugged, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.   
  
"And everybody your dad-" he couldn't seem to force the words out, "they just thought that was perfectly okay?"   
  
"Most of them, yeah..." I nodded. I couldn't believe that I was just sat here talking about this so nonchalantly. I smiled slightly as a memory popped into my head. "There was this one guy, I remember... He came one night, and it took him ages to get me to open up, but he just let me vent to him. He paid extra to have me untied, but my dad had some weird padlock thing connecting my necklace and blindfold together so I couldn't take the blindfold off, but he just let me talk.   
  
"That's how I found out my dad had cameras in the room, actually." I could feel the bile rising in my throat now. "I remember feeling so disgusted, knowing my dad was watching them do that and he didn't help me, only let more do it, and he was earning money for it. I was punished for not doing my job right, he assumed that I refused to let him touch me, and he locked me away for an entire day, with no food or water. I was a shaking mess when I got out."   
  
I felt my stomach retch, and I stood up quickly to run to the bathroom attached to my room, which, of course, was a horrible idea. I fell half way to it.   
  
"Fuck!" I shouted, holding my knee. I'd banged it pretty hard against the floor. I scrambled to my feet again, just barely making it to the bathroom in time.   
  
"You alright?" I heard Vic behind me. I flushed the toilet, grimacing. I moved so I was sitting against the wall behind me, curling up into a ball.   
  
"I feel like shit, honestly." I mumbled, not bothering to lift my head.   
  
"Would you freak out if I picked you up to take you back to bed?" Vic asked, and I thought it over. I wanted Tony. But I couldn't let Tony see me like this.   
  
"I need to brush my teeth, my mouth tastes horrid." I groaned. I was still debating on letting Vic carry me. My knee was throbbing still. "I don't even have a damn toothbrush."   
  
"I'll ask Tony if he has any extra." Vic nodded. "Now, do you want to carry you, or do you want to try and walk on that busted knee?"   
  
I mull it over for a few seconds more, and lift my arms up in lieu of an answer. He scooped me into his arms with ease, and I let my head fall against his chest. I haven't felt more at ease all night.   
  
"I'll go get Tony, okay?" Vic murmurs as I curl up in bed. "And take those pills." He pointed to the medicine bottle an glass of water on the table next to my bed. "They'll help with your knee, and I know your head must hurt."  
  
"Okay." I nodded, though I knew I wasn't going to. Vic left the room, and I was alone again. He left the door open, thank god.   
  
I wasn't alone for more than three minutes before Tony came back. He was holding a toothbrush and toothpaste in his hand, but he put them with the medicine and water on the bedside table and just hugged me. I was a bit shocked, but I hugged him back.   
  
"I'm sorry your little brothers are stupid." He murmured, pulling away from me. I must have looked as confused as I felt because he explained. "Vic said you were playing some game with your little brothers and they tied you up and locked you in a closet and left you for hours?"   
  
"Oh, yeah..." I nodded. Vic didn't tell him then. Tears pricked my eyes and I pulled Tony back in for another hug. I wasn't about to tell him that my oldest little brother was currently three and can't even tie his shoelaces. "Thanks for the toothbrush by the way."   
  
"It was an extra I had laying around." Tony shrugged. I grabbed it and the toothpaste and sat up, gently placing my feet on the ground and standing. A pain shot through my knee, but I hid it well.   
  
"I'll be right back." I nodded, then made my way to the bathroom, making sure I had my phone.  I managed it without limping, which was really hard but I'm pretty sure Vic didn't tell Tony about my knee and I didn't plan on him knowing. He'd baby me and I don't want that.   
  
Moving quickly, I popped the case off my phone and retrieved the blade there, pulling my tank top and Jaime's shirt up and making multiple small, shallow cuts in quick succession. I didn't have time to make them any deeper. I put toothpaste on the brush and brushed my teeth with one hand while holding toilet paper to my stomach with the other. By the time I finished brushing my teeth, the cuts had stopped bleeding and I felt immensely better.   
  
Tony was sitting awkwardly on the edge of my bed when I came back. He smiled at me, a reassuring smile that seemed to brighten the room and just make everything better.   
  
"You alright?" He asked, and I knew he wasn't just asking about my teeth. I couldn't help it, I started crying again. I ran straight into his arms, ignoring the pain in my knee.   
  
"I've really missed you, Tony." I sobbed into his shoulder. "I don't think I'll ever make up for how much I missed you."   
  
"I missed you too Alfreda..." Tony murmured. It got quiet for a bit, until I was able to calm down again.   
  
"Will you stay with me?" I asked sheepishly. "I really don't want to be alone right now."   
  
"Of course." Tony nodded. I checked the time on my phone, it was well past three in the morning.   
  
We moved so we were under the covers, and Tony kept his distance, staying at least a half foot away from me. Just having him there wasn't enough, so I scooted over in the bed so I was right next to him, and rested my head on his chest. He took the hint, and wrapped an arm around me.   
  
"Will you sing for me?" I felt myself blush at that, even though it was a simple request. I felt like I was asking him for a lot. "You don't have to, but I miss when you used to sing for me and it'd make me feel a lot better."   
  
"Um, sure." Tony laughed nervously. "What song?"  
  
"Do you remember that song my mum used to sing all the time?" I looked up at him, hoping he would remember. I needed that song right now. "Hey Jude?"  
  
"Hey Jude... Don't make it bad..." Tony started slowly. He was still insecure about his voice, I could tell. "Take a sad song, and make it better..."   
  
I was asleep in seconds.


	8. I Don't Need a Doctor!!

I woke up what seemed like seconds later, tangled up in a mess of arms and legs. I found my phone somewhere in the mess, groaning when I saw it was only five thirty in the morning. My legs were itching to get out and run.   
  
My legs were also jumbled up in Tony's, and he had a vice like grip around my waist, his face practically buried in my shoulder. I groaned as I realised I was practically spooning with my best friend. Who I also kissed last night.   
  
What the hell was I thinking?  
  
I buried my face in my pillow, grumbling to myself. It would be so easy to just go back to sleep. But I had to get up and run. I didn't yesterday.   
  
But I couldn't get up. When I tried to wriggle out of Tony's grasp, he just tightened his hold. I turned to face him and grabbed a piece of my hair that had fallen loose from the bun and tickled his nose with it. He flinched a few times and eventually just rolled over, letting me go. I grinned and hopped out of bed, going over to the duffel bag in the corner that I still hadn't unpacked. I found a pair of shorts and a running tank top, along with a pair of underwear and the single sports bra I managed to pack. I changed in the bathroom, not wanting to risk Tony waking up and seeing me change.   
  
I [changed](http://www.polyvore.com/running/set?id=126590496) quickly and retied my bun, then went back into my room to find my running shoes and some socks. I have like two pairs, thanks to my shit packing skills. I didn't put my shoes on just yet, it'd be easier to sneak through the house without them.   
  
Quietly, and ever so slowly, I start to sneak out of the house. I plan to just run up and down the road a few times until I was satisfied.   
  
About half way to the door, I trip over a stupid shoe, falling and banging my knee again. I tried not to cry out but it was hard, and I ended up making some inhuman, whimper scream noise. I froze, my head snapping to the side where Jaime was asleep on the couch. He groaned, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. He saw me and frowned, then checked his phone.   
  
"Alf, it's 5:42 in the morning, what are you doing?" Jaime muttered, frowning at me still.   
  
"G-going for a run." I stammered.   
  
"Alone?" The frown on his face intensified. "You don't even know the town very well."   
  
"I was just going to run up and down the road." I nodded.   
  
"Let me go with you." Jaime said, almost demanded. "I know a great spot actually."   
  
"Um..." I started. I've always ran alone. "Okay? That sounds fun."   
  
"I'll even drive." Jaime grinned.   
  
"Sounds like a plan to me considering my license expired four years ago." I laughed. Soon Jaime had slipped his shoes on and we were headed out the door, with plans to go to his house so he could change. I walked to the car in just my socks, and threw my shoes in the backseat. I didn't want to bother with them just yet.   
  
"This place is great, Alfreda." Jaime all but beamed as we drove through town. I wasn't sure where he was taking me, but strangely I trusted him enough not to take me to some random place and just leave me there.   
  
I barely say anything as we drive. I'm not much of a talker in the mornings. Jaime is starting to worry me though, we're getting pretty far from town.   
  
I start to get really worried when he pulls onto a gravel road leading down into a foresty area.   
  
"Are you sure you know where you're going?" I ask, a slight laugh and a twinge of nervousness colouring my tone. Jaime grins.   
  
"I promise I'm not dragging you out to the woods to stab you and leave you to die." He laughed.   
  
"Sure." I nodded skeptically. We slowly came to a stop.   
  
"Alright, we gotta walk the rest of the way there." Jaime nodded. The road was gone, but there was a trail.   
  
"Lemme get my shoes on." I reached in the back for my shoes. I got one one and tied tight, then groaned. "I didn't get my shoelace from wherever you people put it last night after truth or dare..."   
  
"Tony actually cut it off of you." Jaime admitted. "Vic had tied the knot too tight and you seemed pretty desperate to get them off."   
  
"I was..." I muttered, looking down at my wrists. I had faint bruises from pulling at the bonds.   
  
"Ouch, Freddo..." Jaime murmured, reaching out and taking my wrists in his hands. He turned them over, and his head snapped up when he saw the faint scars littering my left arm. I quickly pulled my arms back, crossing them over my chest.   
  
"They're nothing." I practically spat. "That part of my life is over."  
  
"Alfreda..." Jaime sighed, sounding sad.   
  
"And don't you dare tell any of the others." I hissed. "Not Vic, not Mike, and  _especially_  not Tony."  
  
"They need to-" Jaime started, but I cut him off.   
  
"Jaime Preciado I swear to god if you tell any of them I will never fucking forgive you." My voice had taken that dramatic tone again, but this time I meant it. "I serious Jaime. Not one single word."   
  
"Fine." Jaime agreed, although reluctant. "As long as you promise you've stopped."   
  
"I promise." I nodded. My voice nearly caught on the lie but I stopped it. "I haven't in four years."   
  
"Good." Jaime gave me a small smile. "Though I don't think we can go running now anyway. Your shoes are broken."   
  
"I can run barefoot." I nodded. And I had before.   
  
"Not here." Jaime insisted. "The field that's at the end of the trail is filled with rocks."   
  
"I don't care." I shrugged.   
  
"I care." Jaime retorted, sticking his tongue out. "You're not running barefoot over sharp rocks."   
  
"Then take me somewhere I  _can_  run barefoot." I practically pleaded. "Back to the beach, something." Jaime looked skeptical. "I  _need_  to run, please."   
  
"Fine." Jaime huffed, starting the car again. "But after that we're going out to buy you a new pair of running shoes. Those have nearly fallen apart already."   
  
"Oh shut up." I laughed, pushing his shoulder. He pushed my knee in retaliation, making me cry out.   
  
"Oh, what did I do?" Jaime looked extremely concerned now.   
  
"It's nothing, I just banged my knee this morning when I fell and woke you up." I all but hissed. My knee was throbbing know, sending shooting pains up my leg.   
  
"Here, let me look." Jaime waved slightly, and I turned so my back was against the door, basically putting my foot in his lap. His hands briefly ran over the scars on my thigh, making me flinch. He didn't say anything about it though. "It's swollen and bruised, I'd almost say it's sprained."   
  
"It's fine." I spat.   
  
"Alfreda, I can't let you run on this." Jaime frowned, looking me straight in the eye.   
  
"I'm telling you Jaime, it's perfectly fine, now let's go." I quickly pulled my leg back, banging my knee again on the dashboard. I cried out in frustration. This is why I didn't want to make a big deal about my knee. I didn't want to be babied.   
  
"It's not." Jaime said firmly. He turned the car around and started to drive. "We're going home, and later you're going to the doctor to get that checked out."   
  
"No, I'm not." I scowled, crossing my arms. "I'm perfectly fine. A run will help, I promise. It just needs to be worked out."   
  
"It needs iced and a possible brace." Jaime was starting to sound like an over concerned parent. "And rest."   
  
"I can't believe this." I muttered, staring out the window. Jaime didn't reply, and the conversation was over. And I wasn't about to start a new one.   
  
A few seconds after we turn back onto the main road, my phone starts going crazy.   
  
From: Turtle  
Alfreda, where are you? I woke up and you were gone and you're not in the house  
  
From: Turtle  
Jaime's gone too, where did you two go?!  
  
From: Turtle  
Alfreda Kimberly Means answer me right now!!  
  
From: Vic  
Alf, answer the phone before Tony explodes.   
  
I had ten missed calls. I must not have had signal in the woods. I hit Tony's name and wait for him to pick up.   
  
"Alfreda!" Tony sighs in relief. "Are you okay? Where did you go? Is Jaime with you?"  
  
"Tony, calm down." I laughed. "I'm fine, Jaime's with me, and we went out for a run. Jaime took me to this place in the woods-"  
  
"Woods?!" Tony cuts me off. "What the hell was he planning?!"  
  
"Tony, I'm sure he wasn't 'planning' anything." I rolled my eyes. "We were going for a run and he knew a place in the woods, but my shoes are missing a string and I did to realise it until we got there so we couldn't go. We're on our way back now, so just calm down."   
  
"You and your running..." Tony sighed, and I could see him shaking his head from here.   
  
"How is she going to run on a hurt knee?" I heard Vic in the background ask, and I mentally cursed him.   
  
"Hurt knee?" Tony frowned.   
  
"My knee is fine." I rolled my eyes again.   
  
"Don't listen to her Tone!!" Jaime shouted, making sure he could be heard. "It's all swollen and bruised, I'm surprised she's even up walking!"  
  
"Shut your goddamn mouth Jaime, nobody asked you." I growled. This sent both Jaime and Tony into fits of laughter. "My knee is perfectly fine, it just needs to be stretched and worked out."   
  
"We'll let a doctor be the judge of that." Jaime nodded.   
  
"I don't need to go to the doctors!!" I practically shouted. "I'm perfectly fine! Stop treating me like I'm a baby!"   
  
"Nobody's treating you like you're a baby, Alf." Tony sighed.   
  
"I am an adult and I can decide for myself whether or not I need to go to the doctor." I could feel myself starting to rant. "And right now, I don't. My knee is fine, it just needs to be worked out and stretched. I promise, it's fine. It doesn't even hurt that bad."  
  
"Sure it doesn't." Jaime rolled his eyes, reaching over to poke my knee.   
  
"Fucking tú soith, ní dhéanann fucking dteagmháil liom, beidh mé tú a mharú i do chodladh fucking." I shouted, flailing my arm. ( _"You fucking bitch, don't fucking touch me, I will kill you in your fucking sleep."_ )  
  
"What the fuck was that??" Jaime burst out laughing.   
  
"None of your goddamn business." I scowled.   
  
"Wow, it's been a while since I heard any of that." Tony laughed.   
  
"Oh hush." I couldn't help but laugh myself.   
  
"It just goes to show how worked up over this you are though..." Tony mused. "You only speak Irish like that when you're extremely flustered or frustrated."  
  
"Exactly." I agreed. "So let's just drop it, okay?"    
  
"I'll see you when you get back, Alfie." Tony grinned.   
  
"See ya." And the line went dead.   
  
"So I know that wasn't Spanish." Jaime was determined to figure out what I just said.   
  
"No, Irish." I sighed. "My mum was Irish, moved here in her twenties, and she taught me the language when I was little. She'd lapse into it when she was angry, and she had a tendency to only curse in Irish, so I couldn't understand. I picked up the habit when I was about fourteen."   
  
"Ahh, I got it..." Jaime nodded.   
  
"I do speak a bit of Spanish though, thanks to Tony." I grinned. I thought for a second before slowly speaking, unsure of whether I was saying the right thing or not. "Jaime es un perdedor maloliente." ( _"Jaime is a smelly loser."_ )  
  
"Alfie es un bicho raro, pero fresco." Jaime started speaking rapid fire Spanish, too fast for me. "Anuncio ella realmente tiene que ir al médico para su rodilla antes de que ella lo rompe y acaba nunca capaz de correr de nuevo, pero apuesto a que ni siquiera puede entender lo que estoy diciendo ahora. ¿Me puedes entender?" ( _"Alfie is a weirdo but cool." "And she really needs to go to the doctor for her knee before she breaks it and is never able to run again, but I bet she can't even understand me right now. Can you understand me?"_ )  
  
"Uhm..." I laughed. "Si."   
  
"Do you even know what the question was?" Jaime laughed.   
  
"Si." I nodded confidently, although I had absolutely no idea what he even said.   
  
"Then what was it?" Oh shit. I thought about it for a second, then realised that Jaime would probably be a little sarcastic shit about it.   
  
"Do you even know what I'm saying?" I grinned. Jaime scowled.   
  
"Lucky guess." He grumbled. I beamed triumphantly.   
  
We got back to the house in just a few minutes. I was greeted by a very worried and concerned Tony.   
  
"Let me see your knee." He demanded the second I got out of Jaime's car.   
  
"Tony, I swear, I'm fine, stop fussing." I sighed, exasperated.   
  
"You're limping." Vic pointed out.  
  
"Shut your face, Fuentes." I scowled. "Just, let me go change, okay?" I didn't want Tony seeing the scars on my thighs as Jaime did. Jaime coughed, and gave me a pointed look.   
  
"And then we're taking you to a doctor." Tony nodded firmly.   
  
"Whatever." I sighed. I wanted to stomp dramatically into the house, but one big step sent shooting pains up my leg. I had to struggle not to crumple to the floor. I did my best not to limp.   
  
I changed out of the tight running clothes and into a t-[shirt](http://www.polyvore.com/doctor/set?id=127271532) and knee length shorts that covered my scars but allowed my knee to be looked at. I seriously considered putting on jeans just to spite Tony but I was sure they'd just squeeze my knee and hurt it even more. It was actually really swollen and there was a purplish bruise forming there.   
  
"Okay, now let me see." Tony nodded as I walked back into the living room.   
  
"I swear Tony, I'm fine." I rolled my eyes. I went over to him, limping as little as possible.   
  
"Alfreda, it's really swollen." Tony muttered. "And bruised."   
  
"You did that from falling this morning?" Jaime frowned. "You barely even made a thump, it was the scream that woke me."   
  
"She fell last night too, hit it really bad." Vic spoke up. I shot him a glare, and he shrugged.   
  
"I'm gonna take you to the ER." Tony decided. "It's actually Sunday and there aren't many doctors offices open."   
  
"Oh come off it, I don't need to go to the emergency room!!" I shouted. "I'm perfectly okay! I'll pack ice onto it and exercise it and I'll be fine within a few days."   
  
"Alfreda, it's obviously more than just a bruise, it looks like a bad sprain!!" Tony insisted. I was getting upset. They were all babying me and I hated it. I let out a cry of frustration.   
  
"Tony, a dúirt mé Tá mé go maith anois is féidir linn a le do thoil titim ach é! Ní féidir liom gá chun dul go dtí an t-ospidéal diabhal é, saoire dom féin!" I shouted, pretty much flailing my arms dramatically. (" _Tony, I said I'm fine now can we please just drop it!! I don't need to go to the hospital damn it, leave me alone!!"_ )  
  
"Téigh fháil ar an post!" Tony shouted back, just as dramatic. I couldn't help it, I burst into laughter.   
  
"You haven't put your Irish to use in a while have you?" I gasped, pretty much bent over in laughter.   
  
"We didn't even know he could speak it." Jaime sounded shocked.   
  
"He can't, apparently." I laughed. "He just told me to go get the mail."   
  
"You know I never spoke it as well as you did." Tony scowled. "And it's easier for me to understand it than speak it."   
  
"And I can't speak Spanish as well as you can." I shrugged.   
  
"And you also can't walk as well as I can right now." Tony smirked. "And you need to have that knee looked at."   
  
"Tony, I'm fine." I sighed, sitting down on the couch. "I don't need to go to the emergency room."   
  
"Alfreda, if you keep moving around on that knee like you are, you'll hurt it really bad and you won't ever be able to run again." Tony was genuinely concerned. He wasn't trying to baby me. I sighed, putting my head in my hands. "Please, Alfreda."   
  
"Fine!" I snapped my head up, hands going straight up. "I'll go to the damn doctors."   
  
"Thank you." Tony smiled. He offered his hand to help me up. I rolled my eyes and took it. "Now be completely honest, on a scale of one to ten, how badly does it hurt?"   
  
"Um..." I wasn't actually sure. "A seven." Tony gave me a look. "Fine. An eight. Eight and a half at the most."   
  
"What if I poke it again?" Jaime smirked.   
  
"What if I kicked you in the balls??" I retorted, smiling sweetly.   
  
"Whoa, calm down there feisty." Jaime laughed.   
  
"Oh let's just go and get this over with." I sighed. Tony wrapped an arm around me, presumably to help me out to the car. "Um, can Vic or Jaime come with us? You're gonna be all crazy motherly and I dunno if I can deal with that by myself."  
  
"What??" Tony looked appalled. "I am not going to get all crazy motherly!!"   
  
"I'll go with you." Vic grinned. He gave me a look and I knew that he knew exactly what I was talking about. Tony scoffed and rolled his eyes, but kept quiet as he helped me walk out the door. I'd given up on trying not to limp, and I leaned heavily into his side.   
  
Tony was a worried mess all the way to the hospital, while I was trying not to explode. Vic was sitting in the back with me, as Tony refused to let me be alone in the back seat, as if I would die if I were to sit by myself. My hands were shaking, and I struggled to get them under control. I felt another hand slide over mine, and I looked up to see Vic more concerned than Tony was.   
  
"You alright?" He murmured, low enough that Tony wouldn't hear.   
  
"Hospitals freak me out." I admitted. "The last time I was in one, a man told me my mother was dead and my father snapped."   
  
 _"She can't be!!" I screeched. I was sitting in the waiting area of the ER. They'd finished putting the cast on my arm hours ago, and me and dad were waiting for mum to get out of surgery. A doctor came rushing out, looking a little worse for wear. He found me and my dad quickly, and delivered the news that she had passed in surgery, they couldn't save her. "You're lying!! Why would you lie to us like that?! You're sick!"_  
  
"Alfreda, are you crying?" Tony glanced at me in the rear view mirror. I wiped my eyes quickly.   
  
"Yeah, uhm..." I laughed nervously. "My knee really fucking hurts."   
  
"And that's why we're taking you to the hospital." Tony nodded smugly. He's so damn proud that he managed to get me to agree to this. He's going to use this against me for months.   
  
Vic took my hand in his, thumb rubbing across my palm, offering silent comfort. I feel like I've told him way too much about me in the past twenty four hours, him and Jaime. The only thing Vic doesn't know, Jaime does, and Jaime doesn't know anything that Vic does. And none of them know the final thing about me, and none of them ever will.   
  
When we got to the hospital, I realised I had nothing to prove that I was a real person. I didn't have my driver's license, no social security card, though I knew the number. I had nothing to legitimise myself. My father had taken away my entire life. I didn't have insurance, which was going to fucking suck, and the worst part: I had no idea how to be an adult.   
  
Here I am, twenty seven years old, and I don't have a job, I don't have a house or apartment or any kind of place to call my own, I only have a high school diploma, and I have no idea what I want to do with my life.   
  
It took about fifteen minutes for me to get back after we turned in our papers. I had to go through the whole weight height blood pressure bit, and then I was taken back to a room with a bed and two plastic chairs, and a sink and a weird looking machine attached to the wall behind the bed. I sat down on the bed, still shaking. Tony and Vic pulled the two chairs up to sit nearer to me, and I was thankful.   
  
The doctor came in and it came to my attention that this was the same hospital I came to nine years ago. And this is the same doctor who set my cast.   
  
I don't think he remembered me, but I definitely remembered him.   
  
"Alright..." The doctor started, picking up the clipboard with all of my papers filled out on it. "... Alfreda?" He looked at me, and I watched his facial expression contort into one of recognition. I felt my heart drop into my stomach. "Don't I know you?"   
  
"You set my cast once." I admitted, laughing. "It was almost ten years ago though."   
  
"Oh, right." He nodded, looking a bit grim. He must've remembered my mum died that day as well. "So what's the problem today? Not another broken arm?"  
  
"I'm here because  _he_ -" I gestured to Tony, "-forced me to come."   
  
"She fell and hurt her knee pretty badly, and I'm pretty sure it's sprained." Tony explained. "She can walk on it though, barely."   
  
"Alright, lemme look." The doctor nodded. "I'm Doctor Banks by the way."   
  
"I remember." I sighed. He pulled up his weird doctor's rolly chair and sat down in front of me.   
  
"Tell me if this hurts, okay?" He gave me a small smile, then started pressing on my knee.   
  
"Tá tú bod moncaí, ar ndóigh, hurts sé, tá sé swollen agus brúite!" I hissed, muttering so he would just think it was gibberish. Tony laughed under his breath, and I struggled not to roll my eyes at him. "Yeah, that hurts. A lot. Actually, could you not do that please?" ( _"You monkey dick, of course it hurts, it's swollen and bruised!"_ )  
  
"Sorry." He laughed. "It looks like a severe sprain, but I want to do an x ray on it just to be certain."   
  
"Okay." I nodded, even though that was the last thing I wanted.   
  
"I'll get a technician back as soon as possible!" Doctor Banks beamed, then quickly exited the room.   
  
"Well he was extremely condescending." Vic laughed. "Here, let me just poke your extremely swollen and bruised knee to see if it hurts."   
  
"That's what I said." I sighed.   
  
"You also called him a monkey dick." Tony grinned.   
  
"It was justified!!" I nodded indignantly. "He's just as condescending as he was nine years ago. He treated me like a child then."   
  
"He's treating you like a child now." Vic laughed.   
  
"I know." I frowned.   
  
We barely had to wait for the x ray tech, and even though they couldn't come in with me, I still made Tony and Vic come down there with me. I held Tony's hand, which was probably not the best thing to do considering my goal of hiding my nerves, but I didn't care. Vic had his arm around me, helping me walk.   
  
"Alright, Alfreda, if you could just hop up on this table here..." The tech had a warm smile. I was feeling uneasy. The x ray room was small, much smaller than I remembered. It had an extremely heavy door that literally dead bolted shut. I did as he asked, laying down on the table. He put a heavy, lead blanket over my chest, and swung the machine over.   
  
I focused on keeping my breathing even and calm as they did the scan. It only took a minute or two, but it felt like eons. I could feel my hands shaking.   
  
I went straight to Tony when they let me out, hugging him tight. I kind of caught him off guard, and he nearly fell over.   
  
"You alright?" Tony laughed. I didn't answer for a second, just buried my face in his chest.   
  
"I don't like tight spaces with big heavy locked doors." I murmured. I probably sounded like a three year old but I didn't care.   
  
"You're okay now." Tony reassured me. I nodded, and let him go, but still held his hand. A nurse lead us back to the room, and we waited.   
  
I hated waiting. It made me nervous. I had to wait a full hour for my x rays to get back, and that was torturous.   
  
"Well it's not broken..." Doctor Banks said in lieu of a hello as he walked back into the room.    
  
"Dúradh linn tú nuair a tháinig muid isteach." I muttered under my breath. Wow I haven't spoken any Irish in years, now I'm just spitting it out left and right. Tony slapped my good knee, as if to say "watch the attitude." I rolled my eyes, and turned my attention back to Doctor Banks, who was explaining the severity of my sprain. Apparently, it was extreme. ( _"We told you that when we came in."_ )  
  
"You'll need to wear a brace for the next week or so..." Doctor Banks nodded. "Crutches would be a good idea as well for the next few days."   
  
"Really?" I deadpanned. "A brace is seriously necessary?"   
  
"You can seriously mess up your knee if you don't keep it immobilised." Doctor Banks was looking at me like I was stupid now. "You have to give it time to heal. You're lucky I'm not recommending a wheelchair."   
  
"Ugh, okay." I scowled, crossing my arms.   
  
He set me up with the brace and crutches, showed me how to wrap my knee with ace bandages, have me a prescription for some painkillers, and set me on my way. It was humiliating, walking out of there with a big black brace on my knee and hobbling around on crutches. I was still shaky from being in the hospital and in that x ray room.   
  
"I hate you guys." I muttered as I got in the car. I had to struggle with the crutches, I nearly just threw them in the front with Tony. Vic sat in the back with me again.   
  
"You knew the doctor?" Tony asked, blatantly ignoring me.   
  
"Yeah, he set my cast after the uh- the accident..." I sighed. I didn't want to talk about it, because that would make me remember. And I just wanted to forget.   
  
"You alright?" Vic asked. He could very well mean my knee, but I knew he had other meanings.  
  
"I'm kinda shaky after being in  _that_  hospital and the x ray thing and just..." I drew in a shaky breath, bending over so my head was between my knees.   
  
"Hey, you're okay now." Vic murmured. He was entirely too close to me. I drew in a sharp breath, cringing away from him. "Sorry." He muttered, and immediately backed off.   
  
"Alfreda, are you alright?" Tony asked.   
  
"I hate hospitals." I managed to choke out. My vocal cords were doing that thing again where they sucked at being vocal cords. "I hate tight spaces. I hate this fucking feeling." I slammed my fist into the seat of the car. "Fuck!"  
  
"Do you want to get out of the car?" Vic offered. I nodded my head quickly, but couldn't find the strength to move my arms and open the door. Tony quickly jumped out of the car, opening my door and scooping me up, setting me gently on the pavement. I curled up into a ball again. My breathing was shallow, and quick, and my head was spinning like a top.   
  
"Alfreda, you need to breathe." I heard Tony saying. "Here, look at me." I couldn't move my head. I wanted to, but I was frozen. I felt Tony's hand cup my chin and pull my face up. "Breathe with me, okay?"   
  
I watched Tony's shoulders rise and fall with each breath, and tried to mimic the pattern. I couldn't seem to catch my breath, and I was starting to feel dizzy.   
  
"Calma síos, ceart go leor?" Tony murmured, and something switched in my brain at the sound of the other language. "Tá tú ceart go leor, geallaim." ( _"Calm down, okay?" "You're alright, I promise."_ )   
  
"It's hard." I whined. "I can't breathe."   
  
"Yes you can, just breathe with me." Tony nodded. His breaths were exaggerated now, just to make it easier for me.   
  
I don't know how long it took to calm down, but by the time I did, I was dead tired and my head hurt.   
  
"Can we go home now, please?" I asked, feeling about three inches tall. "I feel like shit."   
  
"Of course." Tony nodded. He stood up, and held out a hand to help me stand. I took it gratefully, and hobbled over to the car, and away we went. 


	9. Let's Be Teenagers

When I got home, I went straight to bed and fell asleep in seconds. Well, more like Tony carried me to bed. He didn't want me walking much and I was so tired. I put a sweatshirt on over my t shirt and changed my shorts, threw my hair up in a bun, and promptly collapsed in bed.   
  
It was past noon when I woke back up. Actually, way past noon. It was about 3:30, and when I saw that, I groaned. I've never slept past 9 AM.   
  
"Good morning sleeping beauty." Jaime grinned teasingly as I walked, more like limped, in the living room. I wasn't bothering with my crutches. They were all still in Tony's house.   
  
"Shut your face, Preciado." I scowled, sitting down on the couch between him and Tony. Vic was sat in an armchair and Mike was sprawled on the floor.   
  
"I'm just saying, Freddo." Jaime shrugged, throwing an arm around my shoulders and pulling me to him. "You outslept Mikey here, and that's a hard feat to accomplish."   
  
"I was tired." I shrugged. Jaime moved so his legs were across my lap, his feet in Tony's, and coughed slightly. I realised he was doing it to hide the scars on my thigh. I have to remember to wear longer shorts when I'm out of my room. My sweatshirt was long enough to hide them when I was standing, but not while sitting. The scars were only on one thigh, and I could easily cover them with my hand, but still. I nodded at him and he gave me a small smile. I remembered something and felt a huge grin creep onto my face.   
  
"Wow, that's creepy." Jaime laughed at my expression.   
  
"I've just remembered," I nodded, "you owe me a shopping trip."   
  
"What?" Jaime looked shocked and confused. "Since when?"  
  
"Since this morning." I grinned. He still looked confused, and I sighed. "You said, and I quote, 'we're going out to buy you a new pair of running shoes.'" Jaime was still lost. "Remember? After I realised that Tony had cut my shoelace last night, and you said I needed new ones because mine were old and wore out."   
  
"Oh yeah..." Jaime laughed, a bit nervously.   
  
"Plus I need to buy more clothes." I nodded. "I have like, four shirts and two pairs of jeans. Not acceptable."   
  
"Oh god what have I gotten myself into..." Jaime muttered under his breath, but he was grinning.   
  
"Please Jaime pleaaaseee." I whined, leaning over so I was practically laying on his stomach. It was a bit awkward with his legs on me but I didn't care. I kind of moved so I was kneeling on the couch, my arms crossed over his stomach, head on my arms, with his legs beside me. "You owe me for not taking me running this morning."   
  
"That's because you had a broken knee!!" He shouted, laughing.   
  
"Sprained, not broken." I corrected, nodding. "Pleaseee Jaime. I haven't been shopping in  _ages_ , please?"   
  
"Ugh, fine." Jaime rolled his eyes. "Go change and we'll go."   
  
"Yay!! Thank you Jaime!!" I grinned, tackling him in a hug, leaping and wrapping my arms around his neck.   
  
"Just don't expect me to carry all of your shit because I'm not going to." Jaime laughed.   
  
"You do realise you're practically laying on top of Jaime, right?" Mike asked slowly, and I immediately blushed. It was true, I was completely on top of him. I used his chest to push myself up, carefully because of my knee, and stood up.   
  
"No I'm not." I grinned, sticking my tongue out at Mike. "I am clearly standing up."   
  
"Yeah, but you  _were_  laying on him, and that's why you're blushing right now." Mike smirked.   
  
"Will you  _please_  stop pointing out when I'm blushing?" I scowled, crossing my arms.   
  
"But you're so cute." Mike pouted, making me roll my eyes.   
  
"Shut up." I all but growled. I said no more, only turned on my heel and went back to my room to change. I just put the clothes that I went to the doctor in back on, mainly because I didn't feel like digging around for an acceptable outfit. This is what I mean by I barely have any clothes. I found my crutches propped up next to my bed, Tony probably put them there. I pulled my hair down from it's bun and shook it out, brushing it with my fingers.  
  
I froze as I realised I didn't have anything to carry my money in at all. I had well over two thousand dollars, and absolutely nothing to carry it in. I couldn't shove it all in my pocket. And I wasn't about to take all of it. But I didn't know how much I needed, how much I was going to buy. I was starting to regret not letting dad open me a checking account or something. But I couldn't trust him with it.   
  
I eventually shoved about seven hundred and fifty dollars in my pocket, glad it was mostly fifty dollar bills and a few hundreds so it wasn't too thick. I was going to buy a wallet first thing. I felt extremely conspicuous, carrying around so much money in my pocket, but I didn't care. I knew how to defend myself.   
  
Jaime was waiting for me when I returned, and I grinned. I've only been here for like two days and I've already got them all wrapped around my finger.   
  
I had to promise Tony that I would be careful and use my crutches while I was out, and away we went.   
  
I didn't show it, but I was really excited. Jaime told me we were gonna go to a mall and I literally haven't been to a mall in nearly a decade. I wasn't much of a shopper to begin with, but you miss the little things.   
  
I went to the bathroom first thing, and pulled my money from my pocket. I transferred a twenty dollar bill to my front pocket, not wanting to pull out all of my money and count it when I went to buy a wallet.   
  
The first store we went into was a kind of geeky store, but I didn't care. I was a bit of a geek. I quickly found the accessories bit and the wallets, and fell in love with one that was printed with little bits and bobs from Marvel's comic books.   
  
"You are such a dork, Freddo." Jaime laughed as I stood in line, clutching the wallet for dear life. I would be bouncing on my toes, but I couldn't due to the fact that I was balancing on one foot using my crutches.   
  
"I love comic books, don't judge." I stuck my tongue out at him. "Especially Marvel's Avengers."   
  
"They've come out with movies now you know." Jaime nodded, making my jaw drop. Jaime laughed, shaking his head. "I swear, watching you discover new things is the best thing in the entire world."   
  
"Shut up, Preciado." I stuck my tongue out at him. We got to the front of the line, and the cashier merely nodded at us, scanning the wallet wordlessly. I handed over the twenty, and he gave me back the change without a sound.   
  
"Well he was talkative." Jaime laughed.   
  
"Maybe he's just having a bad day." I shrugged. I walked over to a bench and sat down, setting my crutches down beside me. I pulled my money from my back pocket, trying to discreetly stick it into my wallet.   
  
"Jeez Freddo, what'd you do, rob a bank?" Jaime laughed.   
  
"Shush, Preciado." I waved him off with my hand. "This is like, a third of my life savings. I used to keep it in a sock in my underwear drawer, and now I just have like a shitton of cash and no bank or anything."   
  
"Another thing that needs to be taken care of." Jaime nodded seriously.   
  
"Ugh, adulthood." I groaned, finally situating the money in the wallet and closing it. I stood up, balancing on my crutches. "Let's be teenagers and shop at the mall, shall we?"   
  
"We shall." Jaime grinned, and away we went.   
  
We went to some clothing store first, I didn't even bother to check the name. I went straight for the jeans, knowing I didn't want to buy any shirts here. I sorted through a stack of dark denims, while Jaime kind of browsed awkwardly.   
  
"Oh these are cool." Jaime said behind me, and I turned my head to face him. He was holding up a pair of acid wash, destroyed skinny jeans.   
  
"Ooh, yes." I nodded, reaching out for them. I really liked them. "Find me like a size one, please."   
  
"Damn girl, you really are tiny." Jaime muttered, but found the requested size and handed them to me.   
  
"I've always been tiny." I shrugged easily. Truth is, I've lost a lot of weight since high school.   
  
I found a few more pairs of jeans, one dark denim, one pale lavender, and a pretty teal colour. I also found a pair of blue denim acid wash knee length shorts and a pair of pale blue shorts printed with white skulls.   
  
"Freddo, they have some pretty cool shirts over here." Jaime called, partially hidden by a rack of tops. He pulled one off the rack, holding it up to me, and I grinned. It was grey, with the Marvel logo and a bunch of comic book characters on the front.   
  
"Oooh, I love it." I grinned. I added it to the stack of clothes I held in my arm. It was a little awkward, holding all the clothes plus crutches, but I didn't mind. I started searching through the shirt racks, hoping to find more cool stuff, but there wasn't any.   
  
"This is cute." Jaime held up a top that was pure pink lace, and I struggled not to laugh.   
  
"What is it with you guys and trying to make me wear lace?" I said, letting out a giggle. Jaime looked confused, and I sighed. "Vic made me buy a pure white, all lace dress yesterday."   
  
"What, like a wedding dress?" Jaime raised an eyebrow, smirking. I threw a t shirt at him, gaping.   
  
" _Not_  like a wedding dress!!" I all but shouted.   
  
"Aw, come on, you've seen the way he looks at you." Jaime said with a tilt of his head, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "There's no chance in the world he doesn't like you."   
  
"He  _doesn't_  like me, I promise." I nodded matter-of-factly, flipping through a rack just to busy my hands. "There's nothing to like..." I muttered under my breath, not wanting Jaime to hear, but he did.   
  
"Oh you shush that." Jaime rolled his eyes. "There's plenty to like!!"   
  
"Whatever." I waved him off with a flick of my hand, and the conversation was over.   
  
Jaime ended up making me buy the lace shirt, threatening to pay for it himself. But, just because I bought it doesn't mean I ever have to wear it.   
  
We went into nearly every clothing store that wasn't overly feminine or outrageously expensive. I bought some tank tops, more shorts, and a few t shirts.   
  
"Jaime I have to go in that store." I deadpanned, stopping outside a shop that sold vintage clothing. In the window they had ten different Beatles t shirts.   
  
"Then go in the store!!" Jaime laughed, waving his hands towards it. He was carrying all of my bags, even though he said he wasn't going to. He said he couldn't stand the sight of me hobbling around carrying all these bags and trying to balance on my crutches.   
  
"I will!!" I nodded dramatically, and went into the store as quickly as I could. I was overwhelmed with nostalgia. Stuff from way back in the fifties all the way up until the late nineties lined the walls. I wanted everything in the store.   
  
It was hard to decide on just a few t-shirts, so I didn't. I picked nine new shirts, plus two tanks tops and a sweatshirt. God, it was like a nineties kid's dream in here.   
  
Jaime was silently sniggering at me the entire time, but I didn't care. I was so excited. There were so many shirts with stuff from The Labyrinth on them, which is my all time favourite movie.   
  
"Alfreda, if you keep bouncing like that, you're going to break your other knee." Jaime laughed as we stood in line. Once again, I was balancing my crutches and shirts. I couldn't ask Jaime to hold them though, he was ladened down with bags.   
  
"I don't care, it'll be worth it for these shirts." I nodded eagerly. We reached the counter and I all but threw them down, and the cashier rolled her eyes, popping her gum. I didn't mind that I kept getting silent and rude cashiers. I'd worked the cash registers a ton in my first few years at the grocery store, and I knew it could be exasperating sometimes.   
  
"Okay so I want to go to Hot Topic but you can't come with me." I nodded to Jaime as we left the shop.   
  
"Why can't I??" Jaime asked indignantly, eyes narrowing.   
  
"Because your face is on some of the stuff in there." I laughed, rolling my eyes. "Taking Pierce the Veil's bassist into Hot Topic is probably the worst idea ever."   
  
"That makes sense..." Jaime nodded, laughing a bit and scratching his head. I pulled my phone from my pocket to check the time, my eyes widening a bit when I saw it was nearly seven. We'd been here for more than three hours already. We walked in comfortable silence, knowing there was a Hot Topic nearby. We passed it earlier but I hadn't wanted to go in just yet.   
  
"Okay so you're going to have to take these." I said as we reached the shop, giving Jaime my crutches.   
  
"Alfreda, you need to use these." Jaime frowned.   
  
"Yeah but it's crowded in there." I all but whined. "It's just for a little bit, I promise. I'll take them back when I come back out."   
  
"Will you be alright?" He asked, and I knew he wasn't just talking about my knee. My voice had tensed when I said how crowded it was.   
  
"Yeah, fine." I nodded. He took the crutches, looking skeptical. He didn't dwell on it though.   
  
"Text me when you get done in there and I'll come find you." He nodded. "I'm gonna go hide out somewhere."   
  
"Have fun!" I laughed, and he gave me a mock salute before taking off.   
  
Hot Topic was crowded, but there weren't too many people in there. I had most of the shirts I like already, but they're all at the house in Salem. So I only ended up getting four shirts. I got some more shorts as well, and I didn't even care that they didn't cover my scars, they were cute.   
  
I had to wait in line for quite a while, as there was only one person ringing people up, but I honestly didn't mind. They were playing a really good song that I didn't know the name of, and I was contented listening to it.   
  
I placed my shorts and shirts on the counter when it was finally my turn, and the [guy behind the counter](http://www.pinterest.com/pin/293085888223917095/) grinned at me. He didn't look like he belonged in this store at all, he looked too... Innocent. His eyes fascinated me, one was blue and the other, brown.   
  
"Pierce the Veil..." He mused as he scanned a shirt. "I love that band."   
  
"I do too." I grinned back, grateful I'd made Jaime stay out. "Tony is practically like an older brother for me, I love him so much."   
  
"You have a good taste in music." He nodded towards my Sleeping With Sirens shirt, and the Bring Me The Horizon one he had in his hands. He was almost smirking now, and his voice had a tone to it I couldn't identify. Over kind? Eager? A little nervous, his voice carried a slight tremor.   
  
"Thanks." I felt myself blush. My music was all I had left. He told me my total and I handed over the money, and he put all of my shirts into a bag along with my receipt, but not before scribbling something on it.   
  
"Have a nice day." He smirked, giving me a wink. I felt the blush on my cheeks grow darker, and quickly exited the shop.   
  
I texted Jaime and found him near a soft pretzel stand, standing in line.   
  
"So how was Hot Topic without me?" Jaime asked as he handed me my crutches, sarcastic. I rolled my eyes.   
  
"I had a horrible time." I sighed dramatically, pressing the back of my hand to my forehead. "It was awful. I missed you so much."   
  
"I knew you would." Jaime grinned triumphantly, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me to his side. I scoffed and pushed him off of me, scowling.   
  
"You still don't have permission to touch the queen!!" I all but hissed at him.   
  
"Well then what do I have to do to get permission?" Jaime asked, raising an eyebrow.   
  
"You don't." I nodded firmly. "Nobody has permission to touch the queen."   
  
"I bet you'd give Vic permission..." Jaime muttered under his breath. He hadn't meant for me to hear, but I did.   
  
"No, I wouldn't." I scowled, crossing my arms. "And stop implying Vic likes me. He doesn't."   
  
"Okay, okay." Jaime surrendered. We moved up in the line a little, but it was fairly long, with at least six people in front of us. Why we were waiting this long for a pretzel, I'll never know. "Lemme see what you got from Hot Topic."   
  
"I didn't get much." I shrugged, handing him the black bag. "My clothes at home were mainly from Hot Topic, but I didn't really want anything that I already had."   
  
"Understandable." Jaime nodded as he sifted through the shirts. He picked up my receipt and frowned. "Who's Eli?"  
  
"What?" I frowned, grabbing the receipt. I blushed as I remembered the cashier writing something down on the paper.    
  
 _Text me sometime ;) 1-619-481-5405  
  
-Eli_  
  
"Oh, the cashier at Hot Topic." I muttered, feeling my cheeks flush even redder.   
  
"You got his number?" Jaime sounded shocked and amused. He was biting his lip, like he was trying not to laugh.   
  
"I didn't  _ask_  for it!!" I hissed, shoving the receipt in my pocket.   
  
"Well are you gonna text him??" Jaime asked imploringly.   
  
"No!!" I shouted, incredulous. "I don't even know him!!"  
  
"But he's obviously into you." Jaime nodded, and we moved up in the line again. I snorted, shaking my head. "Alfreda, why would he leave his number on this receipt if he wasn't?"   
  
"I don't know..." I muttered, eyes downcast.   
  
"Exactly." Jaime nodded. "So you should text him."   
  
"I don't think I will." I shook my head.   
  
"You'd make Vic insanely jealous." Jaime smirked.   
  
"He doesn't like me!!" I laughed, rolling my eyes. "He's not going to get jealous."   
  
"Okay, let's do an experiment." Jaime nodded seriously. I raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Let's say Vic doesn't like you. If you go out with this Eli dude, he's not gonna be affected by it."   
  
"And he won't be." I nodded matter-of-factly. Jaime cut me off, raising a hand.   
  
"But if he does like you, he'll get super jealous, and you'll finally believe me." Jaime grinned widely.   
  
"He's not going to get jealous." I sighed, moving up in line again.   
  
"Ah, but he will." Jaime smirked. "And then you'll understand what I've been trying to tell you this entire time."   
  
"Tony's been saying it too..." I sighed, scowling.   
  
"Ah, so it's not just me that sees it." Jaime looked smug.   
  
"You two are delusional." I shook my head, but Jaime ignored me.   
  
"I bet Mike sees it too." Jaime continued.   
  
"He doesn't."   
  
"I'll call him and ask."   
  
"Do it, he's not going to agree."   
  
"I bet you five dollars he does."   
  
"Bet taken, make the call."   
  
Jaime dug his phone out of his pocket, dialling quickly and putting the phone on speaker.   
  
"Yo, dickbag!" Mike's voice came from the phone, and I fought back a giggle at his greeting. "What's up?"  
  
"Okay, answer only yes, or no." Jaime started, grinning at me. "Isn't Victor absolutely, one hundred percent,  _totally_  in love with our dear Alfreda?"  
  
"Oh, with Fettuccine?" Mike's smirk could be heard through the speaker. "Yes. He is."   
  
"Thank you." Jaime nodded, and hung up, giving me a smug grin. "I believe you owe me five bucks."   
  
"This is ridiculous." I groaned, but dug my wallet out of my back pocket anyway. "He  _doesn't_  like me!!"   
  
"He does." Jaime nodded, accepting the five dollar bill I slipped him. We'd reached the front of the line without me noticing. "What do you want?"   
  
"Not hungry." I shook my head.   
  
"I know for a fact you haven't eaten a thing all day." Jaime frowned.   
  
"I don't eat much." I shrugged. Jaime looked at me worriedly. "Usually I just forget to eat. And I don't really like pretzels."  
  
"Well now I'm reminding you, and you'll love these, I promise." Jaime nodded, then ordered two huge soft pretzels, one salted with a cheese dipping sauce, and one coated in cinnamon sugar with a cup of icing. He paid, mainly using the money I just gave him, and then we walked off, no particular destination in mind. "Here," Jaime said, breaking off a piece of the salted pretzel, dipping it into the cheese and handing it to me. I looked at him apprehensively, and he nodded. "It's amazing, trust me."   
  
"Whatever you say..." I sighed, popping the bit of pretzel into my mouth. It was good, for a pretzel, but nothing extraordinary. Jaime was looking at me expectantly, and I shrugged again. "It's okay."   
  
"Your taste buds aren't working." Jaime scoffed. He tore a piece of the cinnamon sugar one off, dipping it in the icing and holding it in front of my mouth. I went to take it, but he pulled back. "You're obviously not doing it right."   
  
"Are you seriously trying to feed me?" I deadpanned, staring at him blankly. He only nodded, grinning. I rolled my eyes, complying and eating the pretzel bit from his hand. This piece was better, but too sweet. I wrinkled my nose, shaking my head. "You'll get a cavity eating that."   
  
"Well you have to eat something." Jaime nodded. "It's past eight already and you haven't eaten anything today."   
  
"Is it?" I frowned, checking my phone. He was right, it was 8:17. I sighed when I saw I had a message from Tony.   
  
 _From: Turtle  
Why were Mike and Jaime talking about you on the phone??_  
  
I rolled my eyes, an action that's been used far too often today, and quickly replied.   
  
 _To: Turtle  
Jaime called Mike and asked him if he thought Vic likes me. Which he doesn't. _  
  
"Let's go find a food court." Jaime nodded. "Surely you'll find something you want to eat there."   
  
"I'm not hungry, Jaime." I said firmly, putting my phone back in my pocket. I looked around for a store I knew was nearby, I'd just passed it. It was kind of like Victoria's Secret in the sense that it mainly sold women's underwear. I was hoping to derail Jaime by going in there. I finally spotted it and started walking. Well, hobbling. Jaime followed.   
  
"Your body needs food, Freddo." Jaime said, catching up with me easily.   
  
"I'll get food after I go in this shop, okay?" I relented. Hopefully he'll forget about it.   
  
"Thank you." He sounded grateful. We reached the shop in no time and he smirked. "Need to buy something sexy for your cashier?"  
  
"No!" I laughed, pushing his side. "I told you, I barely brought any clothes with me, and that includes underwear. I have maybe two bras."   
  
"And you need to buy something sexy for your cashier." Jaime pressed, nodding.   
  
"Jaime Preciado, shush!!" I laughed again. "Look, even if I go along with your maniac plan and date this guy, I highly doubt there will be any need for sexy underwear."   
  
"You never knowww." Jaime sang, grinning like a Cheshire cat.   
  
"Whatever." I rolled my eyes playfully at him. "Are you gonna come in or would you rather stay out here?"   
  
"I wanna come in and help you pick something out for your date." He nodded earnestly.   
  
"Ugh, whatever." I sighed, and together we walked into the store. I went for the normal bras and panties, while Jaime went straight for the lacy lingerie. I sighed in exasperation. That boy.   
  
I was barely even paying attention to what I was picking out. It didn't matter to me. As long as it was the right size, looked comfortable enough, and wasn't garishly over-decorated, I didn't care.   
  
A few minutes into being separated, Jaime found me again, that Cheshire grin still plastered on his face and his hands behind his back.   
  
"Jaime, whatever it is, I probably don't want it." I sighed, sifting through a bin of underwear that were on sale.   
  
"No but it'd look great on you." Jaime insisted, bringing what he had in his hands around so I could see. It was [a matching set](http://www.polyvore.com/red_is_definitely_your_colour/set?id=132274182), red, lacy, and absolutely slutty.   
  
"I am not buying that." I said flatly. "No doubts about it."   
  
"You would look amazing in this." Jaime pressed. "Red is definitely your colour."   
  
I let out a small, almost inaudible gasp as a memory overtook me.   
  
 _"How was she?" I heard my father ask outside the door. A customer had just finished "using" me, and I was laying on the bed, crying. I hated crying after, it gets the blindfold all wet, but I couldn't help it. He was one of the regulars, I knew his voice well. I used to not be able to hear them outside, but spending a good amount of time either blindfolded or in a dark closet sharpens your sense of hearing. Plus, he left the door open a bit.  
  
"Amazing, as usual." His voice carried the smirk it always did. "I enjoyed her in red. Make sure she's wearing that next time. Red is definitely her colour."  
  
I wore red nearly every day from there on out._  
  
I had only blanked out for a few seconds, but to me it felt like an eternity. I looked up and Jaime was staring at me worriedly.   
  
"You alright?" He asked, frowning.   
  
"I don't like red." I nodded firmly, pushing the lingerie set away. He didn't press any further, which I appreciated.   
  
I finished in that store and then made Jaime endure picking out makeup and buying other girly items such as hair products and shaving razors. Jaime gave me a look when I picked up a cheap pack, the kind that are easily broken into, but I ignored him. I got some new running clothes and a good pair of tennis shoes as well. He didn't say anything else about food.   
  
"Hey, let's go in here!!" I grinned excitedly, pulling Jaime by his wrist into a shop. It was a tattoo and piercing parlour. I still wanted more tattoos, but it was getting late and I really didn't want to make a last minute decision on what to get.   
  
But a piercing? That's a different story.   
  
"Alfreda, are you insane?" Jaime spluttered, pulling his wrist from my grasp.   
  
"Honestly Jaime, it's not like I want to try and get a giant back tattoo or anything, not this late at night." I rolled my eyes.   
  
"Then what are you going to get?" Jaime frowned. He was still unsure. Like he had room to lecture me on tattoos.    
  
"I've always wanted a lip piercing." I grinned mischievously.   
  
"Did somebody say lip piercing?" A voice grinned, appearing beside us. I jumped a bit, but then relaxed, smiling. The voice belonged to a [woman](http://www.pinterest.com/pin/293085888223917475/), wearing a tank top and beanie, with both arms covered in tattoos and a labret piercing in her lip.   
  
"I did." I beamed. "I want one."   
  
"Great!" She grinned, holding out her hand for me to shake. I liked her already. "My name's Amanda."   
  
"I'm Alfie and this is Jaime." I introduced myself and the man standing next to me, who smiled and shook her hand as well. I was glad to see he was over his initial shock.   
  
"Do you know what kind of piercing you'd like?" Amanda asked, quirking an eyebrow.   
  
"I've always wanted a Medusa and labret pairing but I feel like I'd be copying Mike." I laughed, nudging Jaime in the ribs.   
  
"Aw, come on Freddo, don't you wanna be twins with Mikey?" Jaime grinned.   
  
"Nooo thank you." I widened my eyes, but I was still laughing.   
  
"You'd look really good with spider bites." Amanda said thoughtfully.   
  
"Ooh, yes!" I nodded eagerly. "Let's do it!!"   
  
"Let's!" Amanda agreed, and she lead me back to a room with a chair that looked like one you would see in a dentist's office and a ton of stuff for piercings and tattoos. She picked up a marker, grinning. "Sit down in the chair, and we'll get started."   
  
Amanda poked two dots onto my bottom lip with the marker, on the right side, opposite my nose piercing. She grabbed a pair of what looked like a weird pair of tongs with a hole on each side. I was nervous, and grabbed Jaime's hand. He chuckled, but let me hold it.   
  
The piercing wasn't actually all that bad. She held my lip out with the tongs, making sure the dots were lined up with the holes. The needle went in quickly, and it didn't hurt too bad. Putting in the studs hurt worse though, bit more of a stretch. I went with a stud so I didn't overwhelm my face with hoops, and stuck with silver so it matched. My lip didn't bleed too much, just a bit. I was happy with the result. It [looked](http://www.pinterest.com/pin/293085888223917010/) really good.   
  
"It suits you, Freddo." Jaime grinned. I let go of his hand after Amanda finished cleaning my lip.   
  
"Thanks." I felt myself blush, which was completely unnecessary, and pushed my hair out of my face.   
  
I paid for the piercing, thanked Amanda, and Jaime and I left the shop. I was so happy, I couldn't stop grinning, even though it hurt to grin. I was shaking from the adrenaline rush, and I wasn't watching where I was going.   
  
Which would explain how I ran straight into the only other person within a hundred foot circle of me. I nearly fell flat on my face, but they caught me, holding me up.   
  
"Oh, sorry-" I muttered, looking up to see whoever I ran into. I immediately blushed. "E-Eli!" I stuttered, staring up into the brown and blue eyes. It was the cashier from Hot Topic, the boy who had given me his number.   
  
"You alright?" He murmured, only low enough for me to hear. I felt the blush darken.   
  
"Fine." I nodded. I realised I was still in his arms and pulled myself up. Jaime was staring at us, confused. "Jaime, this is Eli."   
  
"Oh,  _Eli_!" Jaime's eyes lit up at the name. I bit my lip, praying he wouldn't say or do anything stupid. Jaime held his hand out, grinning widely. "I'm Jaime Preciado, Alfie's friend."   
  
"I know." Eli laughed smoothly, shaking Jaime's hand. "I'm a fan of your band, and I see your face nearly every day at work." Eli turned to me, then frowned. "There's something different about you."   
  
"I just got my lip pierced." I nodded, sticking my lip out at him. "And I didn't have these-" I held out my crutches, "-before because it would've been impossible to navigate Hot Topic with them."  
  
"Ah, I see." Eli nodded, smirking. His voice had that tone to it again. Flirty? "It looks good on you."   
  
"Thanks." I felt myself blush again, though it was different than when Jaime told me the same thing. Jaime gave me a look, and lifted the bags up, silently telling me to hurry up. I was certain he wouldn't be saying anything at all, except to embarrass me. But I guess the bags were getting heavy. "Hey, we gotta go, but I'll text you?"   
  
"Definitely do that." Eli smirked, giving me a wink. I blushed again, and let my hair fall in front of my face.   
  
"He seemed cool." Jaime gave me a smirk as we walked away. "His eyes were kinda freaky though."   
  
"His eyes are great!!" I defended him, and then felt myself blush again.   
  
"Oh my god, you actually kind of like him, don't you?" Jaime let out a laugh.   
  
"No!!" I shouted a bit too quickly.   
  
"You do!!" Jaime insisted. "This is so great. Vic's definitely going to get jealous now."   
  
"Yeah, only he won't." I rolled my eyes. It was dark out, and the stars were shining.   
  
"He wiiillllll." Jaime sang. We made it to the car, and I pulled my phone out, groaning when I realised I had two texts from Tony, both sent two hours ago.   
  
 _From: Turtle  
Vic is definitely, a thousand percent in love with you  
  
From: Turtle  
I just mentioned you and his entire face lit up, Alfreda. There's no way he doesn't like you. _  
  
I rolled my eyes and scoffed at the texts, but felt my face heat up just the same. I really need to get this blushing thing under control.   
  
 _To: Turtle  
Shut up, he does not!! _  
  
We got out to the car and Jaime loaded all of the bags into the back of the car, and I threw my crutches in with them. He helped me into the front seat, even though I insisted I didn't need any help.   
  
"You should text your cashier." Jaime nodded as we pulled out of the parking lot.   
  
"He's not  _my_  anything." I scowled, but pulled my phone out. I turned around and found the Hot Topic bag, digging out the receipt.   
  
 _To: Eli  
Hey! It's Alfreda, just texting to give you my number. _  
  
"Tony's gonna flip when he hears about this." Jaime grinned as I put my phone in my lap. I raised my eyebrow at him, and he sighed. "He's super protective over you, in case you haven't noticed. I'm honestly surprised he's on board with the whole Vic thing."   
  
"Well, Tony can deal with it." I said with a short nod. "I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself."  
  
"He's still gonna flip." Jaime laughed, shaking his head. I merely shrugged.   
  
I was a hyperactive mess on the way home, and I didn't even know why. I was excited to get home and show off my new stuff, and I was still shaking from the adrenaline rush from the piercing. It was still burning a bit, but not too bad. I couldn't stop looking in the mirror above my seat to make sure it was actually there.   
  
Jaime wouldn't let me carry any of the bags in, and he refused to come out for a second trip. He was literally laden down with bags, all the way up his arms to his elbows. He walked into Tony's house unannounced, went straight to the living room where everybody else still was, and dumped the bags in the floor.   
  
"Jesus, Fettuccine." Mike's eyes widened at the sight of them all. "What'd you do, buy the whole damn store?"   
  
"She damn near did, Mikey." Jaime laughed.   
  
"Oh shut up." I rolled my eyes at the pair of them. "I told you, I basically had to replace my entire wardrobe."   
  
"Well I think you managed it." Tony laughed.   
  
"She also managed to pick up a guy." Jaime smirked, flopping down on the couch next to Mike. I felt my face heat up, and scowled at Jaime.   
  
"No I didn't!!" I shouted, crossing my arms.   
  
"So you didn't get a dude's number?" Jaime faked confusion. "And you didn't totally flirt with him when you saw him again, and you didn't willingly text him to give him your number?"   
  
"Well, yes." I admitted, blushing even more. I watched as Tony's eyes widened, Mike grinned like crazy, and Vic just kind of looked shocked. "But I didn't 'pick him up'. He wrote his number on the my receipt, and I texted that number. End of story."   
  
"Is he cute?" Mike asked, raising an eyebrow.   
  
"I don't know!!" I shouted, getting flustered.   
  
"He had weird eyes." Jaime grinned, obviously enjoying himself. "And he had dark hair and he was tall..."  
  
"Okay his eyes are not weird." I defended him again. "One is brown and one is blue."   
  
"Okay let's stop talking about the boy-" Tony shook his head, as if trying to clear it. "And start talking about your face."   
  
"My face?" I frowned. Then, I realised what he was talking about and beamed, sticking my lip out. "Do you like it?"   
  
"It looks really good on you." Tony sounded surprised.   
  
"I know it does." I smirked. "Now let's stop talking about me and you people help me take my bags to my room."   
  
I wasn't in the mood to put all of my stuff away, so I just had them pile it all up in a corner of my room then made them leave so I could change into pyjamas. I found my new Labyrinth sweatshirt and a pair of shorts, then pulled on my new, knee high socks with "Muggle" printed up the sides just because I could.   
  
"Ello'!!" Tony smiled widely as I walked back into the living room.   
  
"Did you just say hello?" I asked, frowning slightly.   
  
"No I said 'ello', but that's close enough." Tony finished the quote, smiling like a madman. I couldn't contain my glee.   
  
"It's funny you're wearing those." Mike grinned, gesturing to my socks. "We're just about to start the first Harry Potter movie, and then start a marathon."   
  
"Oh my god are you serious?" I squealed, moving as fast as I could to the couch, sitting down beside Mike with my legs tucked under me.   
  
"Mike planned it out for you." Tony grinned. "We even went out and got ice cream and everything."   
  
"Aww, Mikey." I beamed, throwing my arms around his shoulders and kissing his cheek.   
  
"It's about time you see all of the movies." Mike nodded determinedly.   
  
"I should probably read the books first though..." I frowned.   
  
"Trust me, if you read the books first you'll just get frustrated." Mike all but scowled.   
  
"Wait, I need my turtle first." I realised, jumping up and grabbing my crutches. I really hate these things. I got to my bedroom as fast as I could and found my little stuffed turtle, then hobbled back, taking my spot back on the couch by Mike, leaning on his side. Tony had set out a bunch of pints of Ben and Jerry's ice cream on the coffee table. I grinned when I saw the Strawberry Cheesecake and Milk and Cookies sitting right in front of my spot. "You remembered my favourite flavours." I beamed, grabbing the Strawberry Cheesecake and a spoon.   
  
"Of course I did." Tony nodded, proud of himself. "How could I forget, you made me go out and buy it for you all the time."   
  
"I love you." I said seriously, peeling the lid back on the tub and scooping up a bite.   
  
Mike hit play on the movie, and for the first time in nearly ten years, I let myself be transported into the magical world of Harry Potter. 


	10. Stay Away From My Friends

We got to the middle of the fourth movie, The Goblet of Fire, before I fell asleep. I'd been stretched out on the couch, my head in Tony's lap and my feet in Vic's.   
  
When I woke up though, I wasn't on the couch. I was in somebody's arms.   
  
I felt my breathing quicken the second this registered, and I tried to get away, but the person holding me wouldn't allow it. They tightened their hold on me, which only made me panic more.   
  
"Shh, it's just me." They murmured, and I calmed when I realised it was Vic. "You fell asleep on the couch and I didn't want you to have a bad knee  _and_  a bad back."   
  
"Where's Tony?" I frowned, my voice slurring from sleep. I had my face pressed into Vic's chest. He was carrying me bridal style, arms wrapped tight around me. He bent down slightly to open the door to my room, carefully walking in without bumping my head on the doorframe.   
  
"He's asleep." Vic nodded, laying me down on my bed and pulling the blanket over me. I almost fell asleep the second I was down, but I couldn't. "I didn't want to wake him."  
  
"Will you stay with me?" I murmured sleepily, peering up at him through my eyelashes. He looked unsure, and he glanced back towards the living room. "Don't wake Tony. He won't understand."   
  
"What won't he understand?" Vic frowned, sitting on the edge of my bed. I stayed silent for a moment, chewing my lip and debating on whether or not I should tell him.   
  
"I don't want to sleep alone..." I admitted, my voice cracking from sleep and, well, fear. I was terrified of being by myself. The last time I slept alone I had the worst nightmare I've ever had, and I don't want a repeat of that. Vic raised an eyebrow, and I felt my face heat up, and I snuggled down deeper into the blankets. "Forget it. It's fine. I'll be fine."  
  
"I'll stay if you want me to." Vic nodded, still kind of unsure. "I just thought you might want Tony instead."   
  
"I'm fine, I'm just being silly." I mumbled, rolling over so I wasn't facing him anymore and pulling the blankets over my ears. I felt him stand beside me for a few (long) moments, then he walked around to the other side of the bed where there was actually room, picked up the blanket, and crawled into the bed with me. He moved so he was laying on his side facing me, close to me but not touching me at all. I let out a mix between a happy sigh and a breath of relief.   
  
I wasn't happy with the short distance between us, so I scooted closer, intertwining our legs and nuzzling up to his chest. Vic was unsure again, but draped an arm around me comfortingly. I smiled, all but burying my face in his shirt. I felt his lips in my hair, hesitant and unsure but definitely there.   
  
"You smell good." I murmured, and that was the last thing I remember happening before I fell asleep.   
  
****  
  
 _I woke up in a cold, damp room, my wrists and ankles bound to a chair. A foul tasting cloth was tied around my mouth, keeping me from talking. I had a blindfold on, but I could tell the room was darkened anyway. I tried to stay as calm as possible, panicking would not be good. It wasn't easy, almost impossible. Being bound, gagged, and blindfolded was too much, and I started to hyperventilate, and soon I was screaming at the top of my lungs through the gag. I wasn't even screaming words, just a long, drawn out screech. My throat was starting to hurt but I kept screaming.  
  
Then I heard a voice.   
  
A voice I thought I would never have to hear again.   
  
"So you're awake." My father sneered. I heard a door shut and the lights click on, and I froze, silencing my screams the second I heard him. I heard his footsteps come near me, and I wiggled my head to get the gag out.   
  
"Where am I?" I spat in his general direction. I wasn't so much panicking anymore as I was trying to assess the situation. My wrists and ankles were bound with duct tape, but it only felt like two layers. There was a bit of an echo when we spoke, so the room was big, probably a basement from the feel of it. My stomach started doing flips as an idea as to where I was came into my head. I refused to believe it. I couldn't be back in there. I swore I would never go in that room again.   
  
"Your favourite room." The malicious smirk in my father's voice was completely obvious. My breathing started to quicken and shallow again, and I tried to hide it. Letting him see that I was afraid isn't a good idea. It'll just egg him on. I felt his hand trail across my shoulder, and I shuddered in disgust. He pulled the blindfold off, and I blinked at the sudden light. I slowly assessed every aspect of the room, hoping in vain I wasn't right.   
  
The walls were painted pure black, along with the ceiling and carpet. Nearly everything was black. The bed frame, the silk sheets and pillows on the bed. There were slight red touches to the room, a red trim on the pillows, a red lamp.   
  
I was back in the room he sold me in.   
  
"Have you missed being here?" My father smirked, walking around in front of me. He hasn't changed a bit, same close cropped brown hair. His dark brown eyes were almost black. At a glance, he looked like a respectable man. He didn't look like a man who forced his daughter into prostitution.   
  
"No." I spat, glaring at him. He chuckled, shaking his head.   
  
"It's missed you, Freddie." He all but purred, and I shuddered at the nickname. He's the only person to ever call me that.   
  
He walked behind me again, and I turned my head to try and see him. I didn't trust him one bit. Moving quickly, he lunged, jabbing a needle into my neck. I cried out, trying to slap the needle away, but I couldn't move my arm.   
  
And within seconds, I couldn't move anything. I couldn't turn my head, I couldn't wiggle my fingers.   
  
"What did you do to me?" I asked, surprised I could speak, and move my mouth.   
  
"It's a paralysing medicine, designed to only affect the body beneath the injection site." My father smirked, moving back in front of me. "I could've chose one that paralysed your entire body, but I want to see your facial expressions and hear your screams."   
  
I felt my blood run cold, my eyes widen in fear. He started pulling the duct tape off my wrists and ankles, not caring if he ripped my skin off or not. While I couldn't move, I could still feel everything. I let out a scream as he continued to yank the tape from my arms and legs, and I kept on screaming when he picked me up. I was trying my hardest to get out of his arms, to hit him, but my body was useless.   
  
He threw me down on the bed, then fastened the oh so familiar straps on me, a little tighter than usual, securing me spread eagle on the bed. I kept screaming, screaming for help, screaming out to anybody who would listen. My throat was going raw, but I didn't care.   
  
"Come and get her, boys!!" My father called out the door, and almost immediately, four huge men stepped into the room, giant smiles on their faces. I stopped screaming for the tiniest moment, then started again, screaming out the only thing that would come to my mind.   
  
"Vic!" I practically sobbed. One of the men crawled over top of me on the bed, unbuckling his belt. I started screaming louder, but it only made him smile wider. "Vic! Vic please help me! Vic, please!"  
  
"Nobody's here to help you Freddie." My father sneered, merely watching as the man ripped what little clothes I was wearing off. I just kept screaming for Vic, not listening to him. "Your little lover boy isn't here to save you, and he never will be. You're mine forever, Freddie."   
  
"Vic!!" I screamed, pretty much just sobbing at this point. I gave up after a few more seconds, just crying and trying to block out what was happening to me._  
  
"Alfreda, wake up!" Somebody shouted, and I sat straight up in bed, breathing heavy. I pushed away from them, only caring about getting untangled from the blankets. I all but threw myself off the bed, sending shooting pains all through my body. I hissed, but it was a good pain. I needed to bring myself back from reality.   
  
I pushed myself against a wall, bringing my knees to my chest and resting my forehead on them, sobbing and trying to catch my breath.   
  
"Alfreda, breathe." Vic pressed gently. I could feel his presence beside me, but not too close.   
  
"I c-can't-" I gasped, pulling my legs up closer to me.   
  
"Shh, Alfreda, yes you can." Vic murmured, hesitantly placing a hand on my back. I shouldn't have been comfortable with the contact, but it honestly soothed me.   
  
With Vic's help, I got my breathing back down to a normal rate. I was still shaking though, and all I wanted to do was cut.   
  
"Are you okay now?" Vic asked as I raised my head to look at him. His expression was one of pure worry.   
  
"What happened?" I breathed, even though I already knew. I wanted to know how I woke him up.   
  
"You were screaming, thrashing around..." Vic trailed off, biting his lip. "You were screaming my name."   
  
"I was?" I felt my face blush beet red, and I hoped it was too dark for him to see me, even though he had turned the lamp on the bedside table on. I knew I was screaming out for him in the dream, I had just hoped I wasn't in real life.   
  
"Yeah. You started talking in your sleep, which was what woke me up to begin with." Vic seemed hesitant to tell me this. My face paled, and I wondered exactly when I started talking. I didn't want to know. But of course, he told me. "You said something about your dad and a black room, and then you asked what he did to you, and that's when the screaming started."   
  
"Oh god..." I muttered, putting my head back down on my knees. "I'm sorry."   
  
"Don't be sorry." Vic murmured, placing a hand on my shoulder and rubbing his thumb back and forth. I just sat there for a moment, allowing his actions to comfort me, before I realised something, my head snapping up in alarm.   
  
"Did I wake anybody else up?!" I practically demanded, looking at Vic.   
  
"I don't think so." He assured, shaking his head. "Nobody's come in here and I haven't heard anybody move."   
  
"Good." I sighed, leaning over to rest my head on his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around me awkwardly, still hesitant.   
  
"Do you wanna go back to bed?" Vic asked after what seemed like ages. I could've slept sitting there on the floor to be honest.   
  
"Yeah..." I sighed, pulling out of his embrace. I still needed to cut. "I should probably put lotion on my tattoo and clean my lip though... I'm supposed to do that before I go to bed and whenever I can."   
  
"Alright." Vic looked worried, but didn't say anything else. He stood, then helped me up. He insisted on helping me to my bathroom, even though I tried to tell him I was fine. He still looked worried as I shut the door behind me, but I ignored him.   
  
Just like the other night with Tony, I retrieved the blade that I had hidden in the medicine cabinet behind my mirror, pulled my tank top and sweatshirt up, and made multiple, quick cuts, then pressed toilet paper to them as I started to brush my teeth. I pulled my tanktop over the toilet paper, letting the fabric hold the tissue in place so I had both hands to work with. I applied some cream to my tattoo, which was starting to peel a little, and rinsed my mouth out with mouthwash and cleaned my piercing with some of the cleanser I'd gotten and a q-tip.   
  
The cuts had stopped bleeding by the time I'd finished all that, and I threw the tissue into the toilet, flushing it down. I couldn't risk anybody finding it.   
  
Vic was waiting for me when I came back out, sitting cross-legged on my bed.   
  
"You okay?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. I merely nodded and climbed into bed, holding up the covers until he sighed and crawled under them with me, facing me like he did last time. There was a bit of awkward eye contact, and I turned over so my back was to him and my head was resting on his outstretched arm, basically spooning. Vic's movements were jerky and unsure still, and he draped an arm over my stomach, his hand laying right over top of the fresh cuts. It stung, so I grabbed his hand and intertwined his fingers with mine, resting them on my side away from the cuts. If Vic cared at all that we were holding hands, he didn't say anything.   
  
I couldn't sleep. Not after what happened. I was still shaking slightly, all I wanted to do was cry and cut some more. I was trying hard not to think about the dream, but it was hard. I kept remembering what is was like to be in there, not able to move or see. I heard my breathing get more and more sporadic, and I was trying my best to stay calm but it wasn't working.   
  
"Alfreda?" Vic asked gently, sitting up a little so he could see me. "Are you alright?"   
  
"I never want to go back there." I said in a hurried whisper. I pressed my face into his arm so he wouldn't see that I was about to cry. "Please never make me go back."   
  
"You'll never go back there, Alfreda." Vic promised. I turned to face him, burying my face in his chest.   
  
"You weren't there to help me." I all but sobbed. I wasn't even trying to hide the fact that I was crying now, there was no point. "I was screaming for you and you weren't there."   
  
"I'll always be there." Vic nodded, pushing my hair out of my face. "And so will Tony, and Jaime, and Mike. We'll always be there, Alfreda."   
  
I stayed quiet for a minute, just trying to get my breathing under control. Vic kept one hand still on my hair, and one on my shoulder, rubbing his thumb back and forth comfortingly.   
  
"Will you sing for me?" I murmured into his shirt. "Please?" Vic stayed quiet for a moment, and I suddenly felt extremely insecure. "Never mind. Ignore me. I'm sorry."   
  
"Waking up your neighbours downstairs, I've been inside your bedroom a thousand years..." Vic started softly, and I let out a sigh of relief. I realised what he's singing and nearly started crying, this song means so much to me. "And as you tie me to the bed for good I say, that I want you in the most in romantic way..."   
  
I still couldn't sleep, so I just laid and listened to him sing. I let a few tears fall, not caring anymore. Vic didn't stop singing, he just went right along with the song.   
  
"And I know you know what it's like, to wake up in the middle of the night, scaring the thought of kissing razors..." Vic's voice wavered a bit here, and I frowned. Were those the lyrics? "This blood evacuation is telling you to cave in, but stay away from my friends."   
  
And then I realised.   
  
He'd changed the lyrics a bit. Instead of "you don't know what it's like" and "this blood evacuation is telling me to cave in", he changed it so it was like the song was about me, that he was talking directly to me.   
  
I held in a gasp as I realised something else.   
  
Vic knows. He knows I cut. He hasn't just seen the scars and hoped I've quit because he can't see any new cuts. He knows I still do.   
  
I didn't respond to the lyric change, just laid there in his arms. He finished out the song, and moved right into Hold On Till May. I fell asleep after a few songs, absolutely terrified, but for a different reason now.   
  
*****   
  
"Tonyyy..." I whined, sprawling out on his lap. It was the next morning, nearly noon. I'd woken up in Vic's arms, confused as to why he was there but I figured I'd asked him to stay, and with new cuts I didn't actually remember making. All of the guys were still in Tony's house, just hanging about. Jaime had brought up the fact that I don't have a bank account or anything earlier, and now we were talking about going out and trying to find a job.   
  
"Alfieee..." Tony whined back, imitating me.   
  
"I don't want to do things." I scowled up at him. Tony chucked, shaking his head.   
  
"You have to." Tony nodded, making me pout. "You have to start your life Alfie."  
  
"I guess so..." I sighed. If I didn't do this, I may as well be living in Salem still. "Lemme shower and get dressed."   
  
Begrudgingly, I pulled myself up off the couch and trudged to my room, searching through bags for an outfit to wear. I didn't want to wear a band tee to do adult things, they seemed unprofessional, so I pulled out that stupid pink lace shirt Jaime made me buy and a pair of blue jeans. I grabbed a tank top to wear under my shirt and tuck into my jeans, just in case the pink shirt came up and exposed my stomach, I would have extra protection. I found some underwear, a matching set just because I could, and all of my shampoo and soap and shit, and went into the bathroom to start the water for my shower.   
  
Showers have always been a comfort zone for me. Just being surrounded by hot water can calm me down anytime.   
  
Stepping out, I wrapped a towel around myself and my hair. Ugh, my hair. I don't want to fool with it today. I got dressed quickly, then rubbed the towel over my hair and brushed through it, hoping it would dry soon. I rewrapped my ankle, encasing it in it's brace over my jeans. I went back out to my room to find the makeup I had bought. I wasn't really sure how to use all of it, but I remembered a bit from high school. Though makeup now is a bit different than what it was in the nineties, plus I was mainly good at doing stage makeup, which was not suitable for every day wear. I found one of my new phone cases while I was searching and switched the one I had now for it.   
  
I did it the best that I could, then ran a comb through my hair. It was mainly dry, just a little damp. I'd have to stop somewhere today and buy a hair dryer.   
  
I applied my makeup as best as I could, and it didn't look too terrible in the end. I went ahead and applied some concealer around the slight bruises on my wrists from the shoelace, and blended it down to cover my scars as well. You could still kind of see the raised marks, but the pale discolouration was gone. I brushed through my hair again, sighing at myself in the mirror before going back out into my bedroom. I found the money sock that I had hidden in the back of my drawer, taking all of the money out of it and putting it in my wallet. I knew I was going to be opening a bank account, so I wanted to take all of my money and put it in. I shoved my wallet in my back pocket, then found my crutches and hobbled out to find Tony.   
  
"I told you that shirt was a good idea!!" Jaime shouted as I hobbled into the living room. I scowled at him.   
  
"This is the closest thing I have to adult, professional looking clothes." I laughed. "I didn't feel like going job hunting in a band tee."  
  
"There was a sign outside Hot Topic yesterday that said they were hiring." Jaime gave me a knowing look. "You could apply, I'm sure your cashier would put in a good word for you."   
  
"Oh, shut up." I laughed, feeling my face heat up.   
  
"I think this is the first time we've seen you with makeup on." Vic commented from his armchair. "You look nice."   
  
"Are you saying she didn't look nice without the makeup?" Mike frowned, through there was a mischievous gleam in his eye.   
  
"No no, she did look great without it." Vic back-pedalled a bit, eyes widening. "Her eyes pop more now, they look so blue."  
  
"I knew what you meant." I laughed, tucking a stray piece of hair behind my ear. "Where's Tony?"   
  
"Probably straightening his hair." Mike nodded. "He spends more time on his hair than most girls do."   
  
"Nerd." I laughed, plopping down on the couch between Jaime and Mike.   
  
"You should text your cashier and ask if you could get a job at Hot Topic." Jaime grinned, making me shove his shoulder.   
  
"First off, he's not my anything. I rolled my eyes, though I was pulling out my phone. "But I will. I need to get a job as soon as possible so I can get an apartment or something and stop bugging you guys."  
  
"You don't bug us." Vic frowned, but I just ignored him.   
  
 _To: Eli  
Hey, the Hot Topic you work at is hiring, right?_  
  
"We're going to finish the rest of the Harry Potter series when you get home." Mike nodded determinedly.   
  
"I only made it until the middle of Goblet of Fire." I admitted. "I somehow woke up in my bed, though I don't remember getting there."   
  
"You don't remember?" Vic frowned, his eyebrows furrowing and forming a little dent in his forehead.   
  
"I mean, I woke up and you were there, so I guess you carried me?" I frowned, straining to remember. "And I probably asked you to stay, too. I get emotional when I'm half asleep."   
  
"Yeah, you asked me to stay." Vic nodded, almost embarrassed. Jaime nudged my side, but I ignored him. "You seriously don't remember anything?"   
  
"No..." I shook my head slowly. "Was there anything of importance that I  _should_  remember?"   
  
"Nope." Vic said shortly, a strange expression on his face. "It's just weird that I carried you to bed and you don't even remember it."   
  
"I was half asleep." I laughed. My phone buzzed in my hand, and I unlocked it, reading the new message.   
  
 _From: Eli  
Yeah, we're hiring. Do you want me to get an application for you? I could put in a good word for you with the boss ;)_  
  
"What did your cashier say?" Jaime asked, leaning on me so he could read over my shoulder.   
  
"That they are indeed hiring and he would get me an application." I couldn't stop the grin that creeped onto my face.   
  
"Aww, Alfie you're so cute." Mike smirked, elbowing me in the side lightly.   
  
"No I'm not." I immediately scowled at him. "I'm not cute. I am a fierce lion."   
  
"And though she be but little, she is fierce." Tony said as he walked into the living room.   
  
"Are you quoting Shakespeare?" I laughed, turning to look at him. Tony immediately blushed, ducking his head. "You are!! That was Midsummer Night's Dream!!"   
  
"I think the fact that you immediately recognised it  _and_  knew what play it was is just as bad as him quoting it." Jaime pointed out.   
  
"Not for me!" I all but shouted. "I'm a theatre kid. I'm a thousand percent thespian. I did a production of Midsummer Night's Dream in my sophomore year of high school."   
  
"And that is the only reason I know the quote." Tony nodded.   
  
"Aw, you went to her plays?" Mike grinned a tongue-in-teeth smile.   
  
"Of course I did." Tony's chest puffed out with pride now, and I felt myself blush. "She was the best actress in the school, I couldn't just stay home during one of her plays."   
  
"He literally came to every one." I sighed, almost exasperated. Tony knew I was just kidding. "Like, not just every production, every show. He would come to the same show five nights in a row."   
  
"You never knew if something was going to change!!" Tony defended himself, palms up. I let out a laugh at that.   
  
"And you brought me flowers every night." I grinned, scrunching up my nose at him. "By the time my productions were over, my bedroom would be overflowing with flowers."   
  
"You two are so cute." Mike teased, smirking, and I hit his shoulder.   
  
"Stop that." I laughed, trying to sound frustrated but failing. "Me and Tony are not a thing. We will never  _be_  a thing."   
  
"It sounds like you  _used_  to be a thing." Jaime grinned.   
  
"We weren't!!" I repeated. Tony was blushing again, and I knew what he was thinking.  _We wished we were a thing._  "Just best friends."   
  
"Suuureee." Mike drawled, leaning back in his seat and looking amused. I rolled my eyes at him, standing up.   
  
"I wanna see this amazing actress in action." Vic said, leaning forward a bit to rest his folded arms on his knees. "Go. Recite something."   
  
"What??" I laughed, flabbergasted. "I can't just recite something!! I have nothing memorised."   
  
"Sing I'm a little teapot like they would in Shakespeare's day." Mike grinned, teasing.   
  
"Well first off that would take a lot of rewriting and second," I sighed, getting frustrated with them. "I don't want to get into any of reciting or monologues right now. I haven't in ages. Besides, I don't have anybody to read lines with or a scene set."   
  
"A true performer is ready to go on at any time." Tony grinned, quoting me from high school.   
  
"I will when we get home, okay?" I sighed, defeated. "Right now, Tony and I should be leaving. I have to do adult things even though I don't want to."   
  
"Oh, Alf..." Tony sighed dramatically, placing a hand on my shoulder. "You're all grown up."   
  
"Yeah yeah." I rolled my eyes, grabbing my crutches and standing up. "God, nobody's gonna want to hire the girl with the broken knee."   
  
"Your cashier will." Jaime grinned, and I hit him in the shin with my crutch.   
  
"Shut up!" I laughed. "He's not  _my_  cashier!!"   
  
"Whatever you say, Freddo." Jaime rolled his eyes.   
  
"Come on, Tony, let's go." I nodded firmly, wanting to stomp out of the room. I decided against that, I didn't want to hurt my knee any more than I already had. Together we walked/hobbled out to his car, Tony driving.   
  
"Where to first?" Tony asked, and I frowned. I wasn't actually sure.   
  
"Eli says he'll get me an application to work at Hot Topic, so maybe there first?" I suggested, shrugging. I pulled my phone out of my pocket, bringing up the texts to Eli.   
  
 _To: Eli  
Are you working today?_  
  
"Alright." Tony nodded shortly. "In the mall, right?"   
  
"Yeah." I was smiling, but I couldn't figure out why.   
  
"Maybe we can check out the rest of the mall and see if there's anywhere else that's hiring." Tony suggested, but he wasn't really enthusiastic about it. I was about to ask what was wrong, but my phone buzzed, effectively distracting me.   
  
 _From: Eli  
Yeah, I'm working right now_  
  
I laughed, rolling my eyes at the screen.   
  
 _To: Eli  
No phones out at work._  
  
I giggled to myself before sending another.   
  
 _To: Eli  
Tony and I are on our way to pick up an application, and possibly checking out the rest of the mall. I'm job hunting today_  
  
"What are you giggling about?" Tony teased, nudging my side with his elbow.   
  
"Nothing." I shook my head quickly, locking my phone and setting it in my lap. Tony sighed, giving me a look. "What??"  
  
"Nothing." Tony mimicked me, shaking his head. I reached over, giving his stretched earlobe a tug. "Ow!"  
  
"Tell me!!" I whined, frowning at him. Tony took a deep breath, frowning right back at me.   
  
"I'm not so sure I'm so enthusiastic about this Eli guy." Tony said after what seemed like forever. "I mean, you barely know him."   
  
"He's not a bad guy, Tone." I sighed, fiddling with my phone in my lap. "He's really nice and funny, and Jaime seems to like him."   
  
"You just met him yesterday!!" Tony exclaimed, a slight laugh trembling his voice.   
  
"Well it's not like I'm going to fuck him in the back room when we get there." I deadpanned. Tony flinched slightly at my forwardness, shaking his head quickly. He paused for a moment, and I stared at him, challenging him.   
  
"Alf, what I'm saying here is I don't want to see you get hurt, okay?" Tony's eyes were sad, concerned.   
  
"I'm a big girl Tony." I stated simply. "I'm all grown up. I am twenty seven years old and I can handle myself."   
  
"I just worry about you, okay?" Tony admitted, glancing sideways at me.   
  
"Well, you don't need to." I nodded shortly. "I can handle myself. I know what I'm getting into."   
  
"You're too stubborn for your own good, Alf." Tony rolls his eyes at me, and I giggle. There's a small pause, but it isn't awkward. I break the silence, clearing my throat.   
  
"So, any lucky lady in your life?" I grin, teasing. I knew he did.   
  
"Yeah, Erin." Tony nodded proudly, his smile lighting up his face. "But you knew that already, didn't you?"   
  
"How couldn't I?" I laughed. Tony laughed with me, then stopped dead in his tracks, eyes widening as he seemed to realise something. "What?"  
  
"Erin..." Tony choked out. I nodded, encouraging him to say it. "She's gonna kill me when she finds out you kissed me the other night."   
  
"Oh my god." I blurted, then covered my mouth. I can't believe I did that. I'm such an idiot. "I'm sure she'll understand? And if there's an issue, I'll tell her that I kissed you without any warning, it was literally only for a dare, and you didn't kiss back."   
  
"It was just for a dare, yeah." Tony nodded, then shook his head, clearing his thoughts before clearing his throat. "But yeah, Erin's great."  
  
"I need to meet her." I nodded firmly. "I gotta make sure she's good enough for my Turtle."   
  
"She's absolutely amazing, Alf." Tony sighed dreamily, smiling at me. He started talking about her, telling me how they met, how he was absolutely terrified to ask her out, but she said yes, to his amazement. He talked the entire time to the mall. He kept stopping himself and apologising, but I only encouraged him to talk more. I missed his voice a lot, and I never got to hear much of it when I watched him in videos. I told him that, and he only blushed.   
  
When we got to the mall, I was so excited I was bouncing on my crutches. I hated that I was still having to use them. I wanted to grab Tony's hand and drag him to Hot Topic, but I had to drag my stupid leg behind me instead. It didn't hurt to stand on any more, but it hurt to walk so...  
  
Eli was restocking shirts when we got there, and he turned to greet us when the little alarm sounded, announcing our arrival.   
  
"Welcome to Hot Top- oh hi Alfreda." Eli started to greet us formally, but then smiled widely once he saw who it was. There weren't many people in the shop, just a small group of girls in the back, who were now eyeing us suspiciously. I suddenly regretted bringing Tony in here.   
  
"Hey." I smiled, feeling a blush creep to my face. Tony coughed beside me, and I shook my head quickly, turning to him. "Erm, Eli, this is Tony. Tony, Eli."   
  
"Nice to meet you." Eli nodded politely, holding his hand out to Tony. Tony shook it briefly before turning to me.   
  
"Don't you have an application to get?" Tony said pointedly. I couldn't believe him.   
  
"Oh, yeah!" Eli beamed excitedly, walking over to get behind the counter. I followed him, but Tony stayed put.  Eli crouched down behind the counter, searching. He pulled out some papers, popping back up and grinning at me. "Here you go."  
  
"Thanks." I smiled gratefully, taking the papers. There was a bit of an awkward silence, but Eli broke it.   
  
"Tony doesn't seem to like me all that much." Eli said, chuckling and scratching at the back of his neck.   
  
"He's just being stupid today." I rolled my eyes, glancing back at Tony. The girls in the back had made their way to him, and they were chatting excitedly.   
  
"So are you like, friends with all of Pierce the Veil or...?" Eli trailed off with a laugh. I laughed with him, shaking my head.   
  
"I was best friends with Tony in high school." I explained. "I moved to Oregon for a bit and we kind of drifted apart, then something happened and I had to move out of my house, and Tony just kind of took me under his wing and let me live with him for a bit. He's literally like an older brother to me. I'm just glad I'm with him again. The rest of the band came as a bonus. I mean, don't get me wrong, they're all great, but sometimes they can be overwhelming."  
  
"How so?" Eli asked with a tilt of his head.   
  
"Mike calls me Fettuccine." I blurted with a laugh. It was the first thing that came to mind. Eli laughed with me, and suddenly that was the funniest thing either of us had ever heard, because neither of us could stop laughing.   
  
"He does not!" Eli managed to say between laughs.   
  
"He does!!" I nodded insistently. "I told him that because I have such a weird name, people call me Alfredo, as in the sauce. So he started calling me Fettuccine."  
  
"Wowww..." Eli sighed as his laughter faded. "You do have a weird name though..."   
  
"My mom had a thing for unique names." I shrugged. "Plus, her dad's name was Alfred, and Alfreda is just the feminine version of that."   
  
"I see..." Eli nodded slowly. I glanced back to Tony, who was still chatting with the girls.   
  
"I should get back to him." I said, tilting my head towards Tony. "He wants me to look around the mall a bit more for some more jobs."   
  
"Well, my manager just fired a huge group of people." Eli's eyes widened slightly. "A bunch of teenagers. Caught them all smoking pot in the back room. There's only about five of us working now. If you don't find anything better, just tell me, and you'll probably get the job by the end of the week."  
  
"Wow." I breathed, laughing a bit.   
  
"I never liked those guys." Eli shook his head. "They always left the store messy and I had to clean up after them."   
  
"What can you do, they're teenagers." I shrugged a bit. "I better go though, I can't let those girls drag Tony away from me."   
  
"I'll see ya later, Alfreda." Eli smiled, giving me a small tip of his head. I blushed for some unknown reason and nodded back before turning and making my way back over to Tony.   
  
"Hey, Alf!!" Tony beamed when I reached him. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me to him. "This is Ashley, Brianna, and Sarah."  
  
"Hi." I smiled meekly, raising a hand and ducking my head. The girls looked nice enough, but I hadn't met any of Tony's fans before and I'd heard a few horror stories about crazed fans. There weren't many, but a few. One of the girls had bright blue hair, another had pastel pink, and the other had long dark brown hair.   
  
"This is Alfie." Tony smiled proudly. "She's been my best friend since elementary school."   
  
"Nice to meet you." The girl with blue hair smiled. Her smile was tight, her words slightly icy. "I'm Ashley."   
  
"We should go." I nodded, tugging at Tony's shirt. "We have a lot to get done."   
  
"Yeah, we gotta get out of here." Tony agreed. "It was nice meeting you girls, have a nice day."   
  
I pulled Tony away before we could hear their responses. I needed to get out of there. I was starting to feel crowded and those girls were practically staring me down.   
  
We walked a little bit away from Hot Topic. I literally didn't see any other stores that I was interested in. I couldn't see myself working anywhere but Hot Topic.   
  
We hadn't gotten very far when somebody tapped on my shoulder. I turned to see one of the girls from before, the one with the pastel pink hair.   
  
"Hey, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for the way my sister acted." She gave a little smile, mainly speaking directly to me. "She's super territorial of Tony. She's super jealous of Erin and everything."  
  
"That's okay." I said with a duck of my head. "I don't really mind so much. But thank you for coming and saying so."   
  
"No problem." Her smile grew wider. "I was also wondering if I could get a picture with you?" She turned to Tony now. "If you don't mind, of course."   
  
"No, I don't mind." Tony smiled easily.   
  
"I'll take it for you." I offered, holding my hand out for her phone.   
  
"No I want you in it too." The girl nodded. I was slightly stunned, but obliged. We stood so Tony and I were on either side of the girl, Tony crouching down to be on our level. She held her phone out, turning it on its side to make sure that both of us were in the picture. She clicked the button a few times then dropped the phone. "Thank you guys so much. This really means a lot to me." She turned to Tony now, rubbing her left arm. Out of habit, my eyes flickered down to her wrist. A good deal of scars littered the skin there, faded to white lines. If Tony saw them, he didn't visibly react. I wanted to cross my arms and hide my own scars, but that seemed too obvious. "You and your band have literally saved my life. I can't tell you how much you guys mean to me, especially you, Tony."   
  
"Thanks." Tony was bashful and shy now.   
  
"I should get back..." She sighed reluctantly, glancing over her shoulder. "Ashley and Brianna will be upset if I take too long."   
  
"Bye, Sarah." Tony smiled warmly. "Stay strong for me, okay?"   
  
"Okay." Sarah gave one final nod, looking close to tears. She hugged Tony once more before trotting off to find her friends.   
  
"Wow..." I deadpanned after she was gone. Tony and I started walking as well, towards more shops.   
  
"What?" Tony asked, looking almost concerned.   
  
"I just hadn't realised how much you guys meant to others, not just me." I said, eyes wide open.   
  
"Yeah..." Tony admitted, half proud half bashful.   
  
"You've saved a lot of lives." I smiled proudly. "Including mine."   
  
"Alf..." Tony started with a tilt of his head.   
  
"I'm serious, Tony." I nodded firmly. "If you hadn't've picked up the phone, or came and got me, who even knows where I'd be now. Hell, my dad might have found me and taken me back by now. So thank you."   
  
"I love you, Alfreda." Tony murmured, pulling me in for a hug. I was surprised, but hugged him back.   
  
"I love you too, Turtle." I grinned, leaning up to kiss him on the cheek. We continued to walk through the mall, but I didn't find any other stores that I was interested in. I honestly couldn't see myself working in any of them. Plus, I couldn't bring myself to go in and ask for an application with my crutches. I don't know why.   
  
"Wanna get something to eat?" Tony asked, checking his phone for the time. The screen said it was just past noon, and while I hadn't eaten anything today, or anything since ice cream last night, I didn't really feel like eating.   
  
"I'm not that hungry, but if you are, I don't mind." I shrugged.   
  
"You sure?" Tony frowned.   
  
"Yeah, I'm fine." I nodded. "I might get some fries or something, I don't know."   
  
"Alright." Tony seemed happy with that, and we headed off in the direction of the food court. I knew I had to eat. The only thing I ate yesterday was that ice cream.   
  
So I got some chicken strips and some fries from the place we went to, and Tony got a couple slices of pizza with just cheese. We found a spot towards the edge of the sea of tables, which I was thankful for.   
  
"I need to find a stupid monologue to do when I get back home." I groaned as I came to the realisation that the guys, Mike specifically, wouldn't let me of the hook once we got home. I was gonna have to perform something for them, or they'd never stop bugging me.   
  
"Just do something you've done before." Tony nodded around a bite of pizza. "What all characters have you played, I can't remember."   
  
"Hermia in a Midsummer Night's Dream, Sandy in Grease, Abigail Williams in The Crucible..." I started listing off characters on my fingers. I was amazed to find that I had done more productions than I thought, I had forgotten about a lot of them. "The Red Queen in Alice in Wonderland..."   
  
"You should do Shakespeare." Tony nodded seriously. "You'll probably impress them more than you would with a script from today."   
  
"Oh, there was Viola from Twelfth Night!" I remembered suddenly, jumping in my seat. "I think that's my all time favourite role I've ever played."   
  
"I like that one." Tony nodded. "She doesn't have many monologues though."   
  
"I could make you run lines with me like you used to." I grinned, sticking my tongue out. "And there's always the ring monologue."   
  
"You should do the ring thing." He hastened, eyes widening. I laughed, knowing he hated running lines with me because he said it made him feel foolish.   
  
"Are you sure,  _Antonio_?" I grinned, teasing. I knew he liked Twelfth Night because one of the characters had his name. "You know, there is that scene at the end that actually has Viola and Antonio."   
  
"No, a monologue would be better." Tony nodded seriously. "Then you wouldn't have to work around my terrible acting."   
  
"Good save." I laughed, picking up a French fry and popping it in my mouth. I had nearly finished my food, which was surprising.   
  
"So you're gonna work at Hot Topic?" Tony asked, gesturing to the form I had sitting safely on the table away from the food.   
  
"Yup." I beamed. "Eli said that they'd pretty much hire me as soon as I get the application turned in because there's only about five people working there right now. They caught a lot of their workers smoking pot in the back room and fired them."  
  
"Plus with Eli's recommendation, you're pretty much set." Tony nodded. He still seemed a bit upset over Eli, which bothered me still.   
  
"Tony, I promise, I'm a big girl." I sighed, frowning. "I can handle myself."   
  
"Yeah I know but..." He started, but then couldn't find the right words. "What happens if you two do date or whatever, and you break up? You'll still have to work together and see each other all the time and it'll be hard."   
  
"I can handle myself, Tony." I repeated. "I promise, I'll be fine."   
  
"If you say so..." Tony sighed, defeated.   
  
"Let's go do banking stuff, yeah?" I grinned, grabbing my last few fries and popping them in my mouth. Tony agreed, and gathered up our trash to throw away. We walked back out to his car together, then took off out of the parking lot.   
  
Tony took me to his bank that he uses. This was all so weird to think about, Tony all grown up and having a bank and me getting a job.   
  
The bank process was long and boring. I put myself on autopilot and blocked most of it out. I was running over the monologue I had found instead. Surprisingly, I remembered most of it from high school.   
  
I was glad when the whole process was over. They gave me a credit card with my name on it and I felt more like an adult than I ever have for some reason.   
  
"Do you wanna just head home now?" Tony asked as we exited the building.   
  
"No, I kinda wanna just hang out with you a bit." I nodded. "I kinda wanna get another tattoo to tell you the truth."   
  
"Already?" Tony laughed, tilting his head a bit. "What this time?"   
  
"I dunno." I shrugged. "Something theatre related. Maybe like the lyrics to a musical or something."   
  
"Where?" Tony asked, and I frowned. It was hard to find a place that wouldn't expose any scars to him. I kind of wanted one under my boob, but I'd have to completely take my shirt off for that, not to mention my bra as well, and I just couldn't do that.   
  
"I dunno." I shrugged again. I need to figure out what it is before I decide the placement, yeah?"   
  
"True." Tony nodded.   
  
"Maybe I should wait..." I sighed, fiddling with the rings in my lip. "I don't want to rush into anything. I mean, I've been here for three days and so far I've gotten a body modification for each day."   
  
"No day but today, right?" Tony gave me a sly grin, and I immediately lit up.   
  
"I want that quote, exactly, tattooed across my forehead." I nodded eagerly.   
  
"Okay maybe that's a bit drastic." He laughed, shaking his head.   
  
"Okay maybe it is." I laughed with him. "But god I love that play. That's one of the productions I always wanted to do but never did."  
  
"Well, high schools tend not to go for the edgy musical about gay couples and AIDS." Tony said with a tilt of his head.   
  
"True." I agreed, grinning. "I do want that though. 'No day but today.' Or 'forget regret.' Or something from Rent. Or a musical. Or just a production."  
  
"You're such a theatre geek." Tony laughed, shaking his head.   
  
"And proud." I nodded firmly. The conversation kind of stopped after that, the silence between us only broken by my quiet humming. I was humming the song Tony had quoted earlier, Another Day. God, just thinking of that movie sent a myriad of songs through my head.   
  
"I think I actually do want forget regret." I nodded firmly. "Like, down my forearm?" I ran my finger down my arm, showing him what I meant.   
  
"I like that song." Tony nodded. "I liked Mimi's character."   
  
"Mimi is a highly under-appreciated character." I said firmly.   
  
"You'd make a good Mimi." Tony grinned, bumping his hip with mine.   
  
"I personally think I would make a better Angel or Maureen, thank you very much." I laughed, rolling my eyes. I froze as I realised Mimi is anctually perfect for me. A girl pretty much selling her body to say alive, with an addiction that is nothing but bad for her.   
  
"So you definitely want that tattoo?" Tony asked with a tilt of his head.  
  
"Yeah." I nodded firmly. I just wanted my entire body to be covered in ink. I didn't want to see any skin left. I didn't want to look like myself anymore.   
  
So Tony made a call to the same tattoo place I'd gone to the other day. They had a couple of appointments today, but their schedule was mainly open, so we made an appointment for later today. I wanted to just spend time with Tony before we headed home, and this gave me an excuse to spend more time with him. We had about four hours until we needed to be there, which was perfect.   
  
"Do you wanna go see a movie?" Tony suggested. "I know of a movie theatre that's showing both of the Captain America movies back to back for the price of a single ticket. I haven't seen the new one yet."   
  
"I haven't seen either of them!" I laughed. "I didn't even know they made movies until yesterday when Jaime told me about them."   
  
"Let's go then!" Tony beamed, going to link his arm with mine but then realising that my crutch was in the way. God, I'm so ready to get rid of these.   
  
Waiting in line to get tickets, I started to wonder if the feeling of nostalgia and wonder would ever go away.  Things have changed so much in the past decade. Just the way the movie theater looked was so different than what it did before. This might not even be the same place we used to go to, but it felt like it.   
  
I didn't even speak through both of the movies. I was so transfixed on them, I didn't glance away from the screen for even a minute. I could feel Tony's eyes on me every so often, but I didn't care. My favourite childhood hero had come to life on the screen in front of me.   
  
I couldn't stop talking about the movie on the way to get my tattoo, either. Tony could hardly get a word in edgewise. I was gushing about how perfectly Chris Evans pulled off the role, and how Steve and Bucky were obviously meant for each other.   
  
I changed my mind about the words and the placement of the tattoo on the way there as well. I wanted "no day but today" on my collarbone instead. I could do the same thing I did the other day, just pull off my shirt and move my tank top out of the way. My tank was pretty low cut already, and I could just pull the strap off my my shoulder if I needed to.   
  
"You realise it's gonna hurt more on your collarbone than it did your shoulder?" Tony raised an eyebrow after I told him about the placement change.   
  
"I don't care." I shrugged. "It would look better on my collarbone than down my forearm."  
  
"Alright, as long as you're prepared for it." Tony sighed as we pulled into the tattoo shop.   
  
The same guy who did my first tattoo was going to be working on me again. Apparently he's really good at word tattoos. He was pretty impressed that I was coming back so early, and a little concerned.   
  
"Hum me one of your songs." I told Tony as Rick started tattooing. He was right, it hurt worse here. And Rick was kind of up in my face, crowding me. I needed the distraction. Tony raised an eyebrow at me, and I pouted. "Please? Or sing it. It'll help distract me."   
  
"I was just curious as to why one of MY songs." Tony laughed. He started humming, and I sighed. He was humming Stay Away From My Friends, which I loved.   
  
As he got to the bridge or whatever, I gasped. A memory of Vic singing this to me last night hit me like a load of bricks. Along with the nightmare I had, and the lyric change Vic had included. I had to stop myself from gasping again as I realised something.   
  
Vic knows I cut. 


	11. He's Not My Boyfriend!!

"Alright, let's see our actress in action!" Mike grinned. I'd managed to keep my cool throughout the rest of the tattoo, but now that I was home, I was on the verge of a panic attack. I couldn't believe that Vic knew I cut. I wanted to think that it was a dream, but I remembered the dream I had, and making the cuts I didn't recognise this morning. I knew it wasn't all a dream. The second we got home, Mike bombarded me, practically begging me to perform something. We'd barely even made it into the house.  

"Don't you guys have anything better to do?" I laughed, rolling my eyes. 

"Not really." Vic laughed from the living room. Oh god. I knew he was going to be here, none of these guys seem to want to go to their own homes. I don't want to deal with him right now. I don't want to look at him. I can't handle the fact knowing that he knows. 

"Fine..." I sighed, laughing slightly. I made my way into the living room, where Vic and Jaime were watching TV. "I found an old monologue from one of my plays that I really like. You guys just have to promise not to laugh." 

"Ooh, what's it from?" Jaime asked, sitting up and turning the TV off, his eyes lighting up. 

"Shakespeare's Twelfth Night." I nodded. "Which is one of my favourite Shakespeare plays." 

"I've never even heard of it." Mike deadpanned, grinning as he sat down on the couch. 

"She's The Man was based off of it." Tony nodded. I frowned at him. I'd never heard of that movie, but I brushed it off. 

"Okay it's just a really confusing plot to try and explain and there's a lot of love triangles." I said quickly. "Actually, more like a love octagon, but you get the point. All you really need to know for the scene I'm doing is Viola, that's me, has just been in a shipwreck and thinks her brother's dead, so she cuts off all her hair and dresses in boys clothing and is basically this dude named Orsino's wingman, she goes and tries to talk Orsino up to this woman named Olivia, who's brother and father have died and she's in mourning and refuses to see any men. She lets Viola, who goes by Cesario, into her castle because she refuses to leave, and Olivia immediately falls in love with Cesario. When Cesario leaves, Olivia sends her servant Malvolio out to pretend that Cesario dropped a ring, but he really didn't, Olivia just wanted him to come back to her. Got it?" I was breathless by the time I finished explaining, and Vic, Jaime, and Mike were all just staring at me blankly. Tony looked amused at them, and I rolled my eyes. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea..." 

"No, just do your monologue." Tony nodded. "They don't care about the backstory, they just want a show." He laughed, rolling his eyes. I frowned, chewing my lip. "Go on." 

"Fine." I resigned, slumping down. I set my crutches down, twisted my ring off my finger to use as a prop, stood in the middle of the room, took a few deep breaths, and started my monologue. 

"I left no ring with her. What means this lady?  
Fortune forbid my outside have not charmed her.  
She made good view of me; indeed, so much  
That, as methought, her eyes had lost her tongue,  
For she did speak in starts distractedly.  
She loves me sure; the cunning of her passion  
Invites me in this churlish messenger.  
None of my lord's ring? Why, he sent her none.  
I am the man. If it be so, as 'tis,  
Poor lady, she were better love a dream.  
Disguise, I see thou art a wickedness  
Wherein the pregnant enemy does much.  
How easy is it for the proper false  
In women's waxen hearts to set their forms!  
Alas, our frailty is the cause, not we,  
For such as we are made of, such we be.  
How will this fadge? My master loves her dearly;  
And I (poor monster) fond as much on him;  
And she (mistaken) seems to dote on me.  
What will become of this? As I am man,  
My state is desperate for my master's love.  
As I am woman (now alas the day!),  
What thriftless sighs shall poor Olivia breathe?  
O Time, thou must untangle this, not I;  
It is too hard a knot for me t' untie."

"I have no idea what you just said," Mike started, clapping slowly, eyes wide and bright. "But I know it was amazing." 

"Thank you." I beamed, taking a small bow. I limped over and sat down beside Vic, my ring still in my hand. 

"Just as good as she was in high school." Tony beamed proudly. I ducked my head, blushing. 

"I almost forgot my lines halfway through..." I shook my head, fiddling with my ring in my lap. "I haven't recited anything or done anything like that in so long. I'd forgotten how much I loved it." 

"You were really good." Vic smiled. I just nodded and played with my ring. Vic grabbed the ring, inspecting it. "A claddagh ring?"

"Yeah, it was my mum's." I smiled fondly. "She was Irish. It was her mum's. It was meant to be passed down when I got married, but that um..." I paused, looking for the right words. "That date got moved up a bit." 

"My mom has one of these rings too." Vic nodded. I'd forgotten his mom was Irish as well. He handed me the ring back, and I slipped it back on, on my right hand with the heart pointing out. "That means something, yeah?" Vic asked, referring to how I put the ring on. "Like, what hand it's on and how it's facing means you're single or married, right?" 

"Yeah." I said, grinning. "On your right hand with the heart pointing out means you're single." 

"You won't have it like that for long, though, will you?" Jaime asked, wiggling his eyebrows. Vic squirmed beside me, and I just laughed. 

"Yeah, me and Eli are going to be engaged before you know it, and I'll have to move it over to my left hand." I laughed, rolling my eyes. 

"Not too soon, I hope." Tony tried to pull off joking, but he was tense, and I could tell. 

"Turtle, calm down." I was still laughing, but a bit exasperated at this point. "I'm not gonna get engaged to the guy anytime soon, and probably not at all." 

"What, you don't wanna marry your cashier?" Jaime raised an eyebrow, teasing. 

"I'm not really the marrying sort." I shrugged. Really, I couldn't see anybody wanting to marry me. I didn't wanna get into a conversation about it, so I changed the subject. "How about we finish the Harry Potter movies, yeah?" 

"Yeah!" Mike looked excited, immediately jumping up to put the movie in. I stood, limping over to my crutches. 

"I'm gonna go change out of this dumb shirt." I nodded, mostly talking directly to Jaime. 

"That shirt looks great on you and you know it!!" Jaime called after me as I hobbled away. 

I found some pyjama bottoms, thinking it too hot in the house for my usual sweatshirt. The shorts were pretty high waisted, and I could tuck my tank top into them and there's practically no risk of my stomach being exposed. I wanted to remove the bandage from my tattoo, but it had only been about 45 minutes since I'd gotten it, and I needed to wait until at least two hours had gone by. I took the opportunity to go ahead and rub some cream into the tattoo on my shoulder, and brush my teeth and wash my lip piercing. 

"What part of Goblet of Fire did you get to?" Mike asked, flipping through the scene selection. 

"Just after Cedric had told Harry to open the egg underwater." I nodded, taking my place back beside Vic. Tony had sat on the other side, so I was in between them. 

"New ink?" Vic asked, gesturing to the bandage going across my collarbone. 

"Yeah." I smiled proudly. "It says 'no day but today'. It's a song lyric from my favourite musical." 

"Rent, right?" Vic seemed unsure, but my smile only grew. 

"Yesssss." I practically hissed. "I love Rent." 

"Hey, lovebirds." Mike snapped at us playfully. "Be quiet, the movie's starting." 

I managed to stay awake for all the movies this time, and cried pretty much the entire time. Having not read any of the books past the fifth one, I was completely unprepared for everything that happened. There was a lot of yelling involved towards the end, mostly from me, a little from Mike. 

It was well past three in the morning when we finished them all, and I was exhausted. The only thing that had kept me awake was the excitement of the last few movies. 

"You alright?" Tony asked as the last credits started to roll. I had used his shoulder as a shield to hide behind during most of the sadder scenes, and a great deal of tears soaked his shirt. A smile lilted his voice, and I knew he was making fun of me, but I was too tired to care. 

"Why did everybody have to die??" I frowned, wiping at my eyes. "Dobby, Dumbledore, Hedwig..." I listed, letting sorrow seep into my voice. "And Tonks and Remus, what did they ever do??? And Fred!!" 

"Hitting you with it all at once might have been a bad idea..." Mike laughed, shaking his head. 

"Plus she's overtired." Tony nodded, as if I wasn't even in the room. 

"It's his fault!" I cried indignantly, pointing to Mike. "He's the one who got me hooked on these stupid movies again." 

"You had to watch them all eventually." Mike shrugged nonchalantly, half a smirk playing at his lips. I glared at him, making him laugh. 

"I think you need to go to bed." Tony nodded, a laugh shaking his voice. 

"I don't want to go to bed." I scowled, and I meant it. I knew I didn't have an excuse not to sleep by myself this time, and I didn't want to have another nightmare. 

"You need to sleep, Alfreda." Tony sighed. I pouted at him for a few seconds, but then stood up. I felt like a child, but I couldn't bring myself to care. 

"Fine." I scowled, hobbling over to my crutches. I left the room without another word, hobbling into my room and collapsing on the bed. The overhead light was off, so I leaned over to flip my lamp on. I could hear them all talking in the living room, and I listened to them all go to bed after a few minutes. Tony didn't have that many spare beds, and somebody was left in the living room, probably to sleep on the couch. Given the footsteps I heard, it was probably Vic. That, and Vic is the kind of guy to refuse to take a bed when other people could have it. I grabbed my phone, pulling up my texts. 

To: Vic  
Left to sleep on the couch?

I sighed, crawling under the covers on my bed. I was so tired, but I was also wide awake at the same time. I didn't want to sleep. I smiled when my phone buzzed, unlocking it and reading the new text. 

From: Vic  
Yeah, I offered to sleep on the couch and let Jaime and Mike have the beds.

Not seconds later, I got another text.

From: Vic  
You should go to sleep

I rolled my eyes and sighed before replying. 

To: Vic  
I can't sleep. I hate sleeping by myself.

Mere seconds later, I heard Vic's footsteps from the living room. He appeared in my doorway shortly after that, smiling shyly. I didn't say anything, just raised the blankets on the other side of the bed. He climbed in, skipping all of the awkwardness and just cuddling right up to me. I've only known this man for a few days, and already I feel so close to him. I moved so he could wrap an arm around me, and I rested my head on his chest. 

"I remember last night." I murmured sleepily, looking up at him. "The nightmare, you helping me calm down. Everything. Thank you." 

"No problem." Vic smiled a shaky grin. He looked like he wanted to say something else, but didn't. I snuggled up closer to him and closed my eyes, praying I didn't have another nightmare. 

But of course, I did anyway. 

I woke up what seemed like minutes later sobbing, tangled up in blankets and legs and desperately trying to get out. Vic woke up almost instantly, sitting up and wrapping his arms tight around me, trying to get me to be still. The second his arms were around me, I felt safe, and immediately stopped thrashing, turning to bury my face in his chest and just crying. He held me tight, one hand spanning across my back, the other at the nape of my neck. 

"Shh, Alfreda, it isn't real..." Vic murmured in my ear, kissing the side of my head. "It was just a dream, it wasn't real." 

"It felt real." I managed to choke out between sobs. Vic rubbed my back, humming some song I didn't recognise until I was through crying. I pulled away from him slightly, only to turn my head so I could breathe properly. "Do you want to talk about it?" 

"Same dream as last night." I muttered, shaking my head and sitting up all the way. Vic looked at me, worried. 

"Is there anything I can do?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. I considered that for a second before answering. 

"Just stay here with me." I nodded firmly, laying back down. Vic didn't protest, and laid right down with me. We were both on our sides, facing each other. I intertwined my legs with his, and he draped an arm over me, and with the help of Vic's humming, I was soon fast asleep. 

*****

"They're not going to want to hire me." I moaned, frowning at Tony. We were filling out my application for Hot Topic, and we planned to turn it in to them later on today. "Who wants to hire somebody who's only job experience is four years at a grocery store?" 

"The boy who has a tremendous crush on you." Tony deadpanned, giving me a blank state. "C'mon Alf, you said it yourself, they're desperate to hire anybody right now." 

"Ugh." I frowned, folding my arms on the table and resting my forehead against them. I knew I was being ridiculous. I couldn't help it. 

"So let's finish this up, go and drop it off, and be done with it." Tony sounded exasperated. 

"Fine." I grumbled. "I don't know what I'll do if they don't hire me though, literally nobody else will hire the girl with so many piercings." 

"They're going to, Alf, it's practically guaranteed." Tony insisted. "Besides, you don't have that many." 

"Eight!" I argued. "And nearly half of them are in my face." 

"I'm sure you could get a job at a McDonalds." Tony grinned, and I pushed his shoulder, making him laugh. 

"Shut up and help me finish this application you nerd." I laughed with him, shaking my head. 

Soon, the whole paper was filled out, and I was tugging my shoes on, getting ready to head out the door. We said goodbye to the guys, who were still refusing to go to their own houses, and away we went. 

It was a quiet ride to the mall. Tony turned the radio on and I sung along quietly, mainly just fiddling with my phone and texting Eli to make sure he was working today. He was, of course, and I was glad. I wanted to see him again. 

"Will you stay in the car this time?" I asked Tony as he drove around the parking lot, trying to find a place. When he looked slightly offended, I explained. "I just want to get in and out of there and if you come in with me, somebody's bound to recognise you and I don't want that." 

"Yeah, okay." Tony nodded in understanding. "You'll be alright by yourself?" 

"Tony, I've managed all these years, I think I can handle this." I rolled my eyes. He found a spot and I unbuckled, sighing. "You worry too much." 

"I just don't want you to get hurt." Tony insisted, and I opened my door, climbing out of the car. 

"I'll be right back, I promise." I smiled, making sure I had my application and pulling my crutches out of the back and closing the door. I can't wait until I can put these stupid things away and never use them again. 

I quickly made my way into Hot Topic. Eli was helping a customer with some t shirts, and I patiently waited by the front desk for him. It could have just been my mind playing tricks on me, but I swear his eyes lit up when he saw me. I waited as he finished with the customer, and when he turned to me, I couldn't help but smile. 

"You're back already?" Eli joked, shaking his head. "A little eager, are we?" 

"I need a job so I can get my own place and stop mooching off Tony." I laughed. "And this is the only place I can think of that will allow their workers to have so many pieces of metal in their face." 

"You're right, we are pretty lenient on metal being in faces." Eli laughed, nodding. I held out my application, and he took it, looking through it quickly. "We'll call you soon about an interview. How did you get a job at a grocery store looking like that??" 

"I just had the nose ring then, and I didn't have any tattoos." I nodded, absently brushing my collarbone. Eli's eyes were drawn to it, reading the words there. "I've only gotten these recently." 

"No day but today." He read, letting to words roll slowly off of his tongue. "I like that." 

"It's lyrics from a musical." I explained half-heartedly. I didn't feel like delving into an entire world of musical theatre. There was an awkward silence, one that I quickly broke. "Well, as much as I'd love to just stay here, Tony's waiting for me in the car. I gotta go." 

"Alfreda, wait." Eli grabbed my forearm as I turned to leave. I looked back at him, and he smiled easily. "I was wondering if you'd maybe like to go out with me sometime?" 

"Oh," I started, shocked. That wasn't the best response, and I felt awful as Eli's hopeful expression wilted a bit, but I was having trouble coming up with a proper answer. "I mean, yeah. Of course." 

"Really?" Eli's face lit up again, and I smiled, nodding. "You scared me there for a second." 

"Sorry, I just wasn't expecting you to ask that." I laughed, shaking my head. His hand was still on my arm, but I didn't care. "Yeah, that sounds fun. Text or call me later, okay? I really gotta go." 

"Okay, yeah, I'll do that." Eli nodded, slowly pulling his hand away. I smiled at him one last time before turning and leaving the store, fighting the urge to turn around and look at him. I felt like I was walking on air as I found my way out of the mall and to the car, crutches and all. 

"Well you're happy." Tony noted as he pulled the car away. "What, did they hire you on the spot or something?" 

"No, but Eli said that somebody would call me soon about an interview." I nodded, smiling. 

"Oh, that's why you're happy." Tony frowned. "Eli was there." 

"Yes, Eli was there, of course he was there!" I laughed, shaking my head. "It's almost as if he works there or something." Tony stayed silent, focusing on the road. "Honestly Tony, why don't you like him?" 

"He just gives me a weird vibe." Tony shrugged, flipping on his turn signal and getting on the interstate. "It's probably just his eyes, I don't know." 

"Well, get used to him and his weird eyes, because he just asked me out on a date." I deadpanned, and Tony nearly choked on air, jerking the wheel and making the car swerve. I braced myself against the door, almost hitting my head. "Tony, what the fuck??"

"He asked you out??" Tony practically demanded, ignoring me. "Did you tell him no??" 

"Of course I didn't, I said yes!" I almost shouted. Tony didn't respond, only gripped the wheel tighter. "What's wrong with that??" 

"You barely know him!!" Tony insisted, gesturing wildly with one of his hands. 

"Yeah, and we're going to go on a date to learn more about each other." I was getting angry. 

"Oh I'm sure that's what he wants, to get to know you." Tony rolled his eyes. 

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?? Do you honestly think that the only reason Eli is even interested in me is sex??" I demanded, but didn't give him time to answer. "Honestly Tony, stop treating me like a fucking kid. I am a goddamned adult, okay? You're not my fucking father." 

"Well he obviously has no interest in protecting you, so somebody has to!" Tony shouted back, and I know they shouldn't have, but his words hit me like a slap to the face, making me inhale sharply. Tony's expression immediately softened, going from angry to apologetic. "Alfreda, I-"

"Save it." I snapped, cutting him off and looking out the window. "I don't need you to remind me how shitty my dad is."

"Alfie, I'm sorry." Tony sighed, pulling over on the side of the road. "I'm just trying to look out for you. I don't want to see you get hurt."

"I can handle myself, Tony, what don't you understand about that?" I was shocked to hear my own voice sounding sad, almost pleading. I turned to face him, and he looked so damn guilty I could hardly stand it. "I'm twenty seven years old, Tony. I'm an adult. I know what I'm doing." 

"I just don't want to see you get hurt." Tony repeated, seeming to wilt. I leaned over the center console to hug him, sighing. His words after that were so quiet that even I could hardly hear them. "I don't want to lose you again." 

"I know you don't." I murmured. "But I'll be okay, I promise." 

"I'm sorry." He muttered, and I pulled away, smiling softly at him. 

"It's okay Turtle." I nodded, placing my hand on his. "Now let's get home, yeah?"

"Yeah." He agreed, and pulled onto the road again. It was silent again until my phone went off, signifying that I had a text from Jaime. 

From: HimeTime  
Are you guys almost back? 

I frowned, typing out a reply. Jaime isn't really the type to check on people when they're out. 

To: HimeTime  
Yeah, we're only about five minutes away. Why?

"Jaime's being weird and clingy." I said to Tony, who merely raise an eyebrow. "He just texted me to see where we were." 

"He knows we just had to go turn your application in." Tony frowned. My phone went off again, and I opened it, reading it out loud to Tony this time. 

"Hurry home, there's a bit of a situation and I need your help to explain a thing." I read, sighing. "Why does he have to be so vague?" 

"That's Jaime for you." Tony laughed almost humourlessly. He had sped up a little bit, going over the speed limit by 10MPH. He was worried, which made me worried. 

To: HimeTime  
We'll be there soon I promise, calm down. 

"What kind of situation could even be happening??" I frowned, turning to him again. He shrugged, and the rest of the ride was silent except for the almost inaudible song playing on the radio. 

When I walked into the house, the air was so tense I could almost feel it. Everybody was gathered in the living room, including three women I've never met, but recognised. Alysha, Jess, and Erin. Mike, Jaime, and Tony's girlfriends, respectively. They all looked angry. Jaime looked slightly guilty, Vic and Mike looked as if they were trying to look impartial to hide their amusement. 

"Hi?" I tried to keep my tone light, but it just ended up sounding scared. I was anxious, I didn't know what was going on. Tony came in behind me a moment later, smiling when he saw Erin. 

"Erin, hi." He beamed. Erin's face remained passive, and that scared me. "You came home early."

"Jess called Alysha and I the other night, telling us to look up this article." Erin skipped past the pleasantries, staring straight at me. "So we did. You'll never guess what we found." 

"An article questioning whether or not Jaime was cheating on Jess." Alysha didn't even give me a chance to answer, just kept right on, tilting her head. "It had pictures of you-" she stuck a finger in my direction, punctuating the air "-and him included, holding hands and feeding each other food, even looking at lingerie." 

"Oh, are you talking about when we went to the mall?" I frowned, raising an eyebrow. "He only took me because I needed to replenish my wardrobe, I've... Lost most of it." 

"Why were you looking at lingerie together??" Jess all but snapped. 

"Babe, I told you, I was just messing around." Jaime insisted. "She'd gotten this guy's number and I was teasing her about a date with him." 

"Yeah, he was just being a dick." I laughed, walking towards Jess, who was staring at me angrily, but her expression was slowly softening. "Trust me, I have absolutely no interest in Jaime whatsoever. He's not cheating on you." 

"See??" Jaime pleaded, and Jess turned to face him, her angry expression turning into one of guilt. 

"I'm sorry." She murmured, looking down at their hands, which Jaime had intertwined only a few seconds ago. 

"You had every right to be angry." Jaime nodded. "The article you showed me was very convincing."

"Who even wrote the article?" I frowned, confused. 

"Some girl named Natalie on this Musical Muse website." Mike nodded. "The same girl who wrote an article about me shoving Vic to the ground after we got into an argument."

"Oh I remember that article." I rolled my eyes. "Even I knew it was complete bullshit. You would never do that."

"I can't believe you thought for a second that anything on that website would be even remotely true..." Jaime frowned, looking to Jess again. 

"The pictures were there, it looked very real!!" Jess defended herself. 

"I'm sorry, Jess." I apologised, frowning a bit. "I really did just need to buy new clothes, and I made Jaime come along with me." 

"What happened to all of your clothes?" Alysha asked, genuinely curious. "And where did you come from, anyway? Tony never mentioned you or anything." 

"I..." I started, taking a deep breath. I didn't know how to explain it. I didn't want to explain it. "I used to live in Oregon, but I got tired of the rain and the dreary days, so I decided to move back to where I grew up. But on the way most of my luggage and a great deal of my money was stolen, and I called the police and everything and they're searching for it, but until then Tony said I could stay here with him." 

"Oh that sucks." Alysha frowned. "I hope they find it soon." 

"Yeah, we do too." Tony laughed, joking. He knew I was lying, and so did the rest of the guys, but they weren't going to say anything, as far as I could tell. "She's only been here for three days but I'm already tired of her." 

"Sorry, I'll just go stay in a motel down the street and probably get murdered by a crazy man." I said, completely serious. Tony rolled his eyes, pulling me to his side. Erin raised her eyebrow, and Tony shook his head. 

"I've known Alfie since we were kids." He explained. "We've been friends for forever." 

"Well come over here Turtle." Erin grinned, holding her arms out. I hid a scowl at her use of my nickname. I know I'm not the only person to call him Turtle, but I gave him that nickname and I didn't like hearing her say it. Tony went to sit by her, and I went to go sit down beside Vic, who was alone on the love seat. 

"So, Alfie, tell us about yourself." Alysha smiled, leaning towards me a bit. I froze for a second, unsure of what to say. I let out a small laugh, shaking my head before starting. 

"There's not really much to tell." I shrugged. "I'm 27. I like theatre." 

"Come on, there's gotta be more than that." Alysha prodded, and I shook my head. 

"I'm just boring old Alfreda." I sighed, and I meant it. There was absolutely nothing that I could tell these girls without revealing everything. Alysha frowned, but didn't press, and turned her attention to Mike. 

At some point, plans for the three happy couples to go out and kinda celebrate everybody coming home, separately of course. I realised that all of this meant that none of them had had sex in a while and that's the main reason they wanted to go. I kept quiet, fiddling with my ring. If anybody noticed my silence, it wasn't mentioned. They were all too happy with each other. 

"You alright?" Vic murmured in my ear. Oh, right. Vic. The single one in the group. 

"Just not used to all the hustle and bustle of couples." I shrugged, smiling at my rhyme. 

"You get used to it after a while." Vic laughed. 

"You're going to be part of a couple here pretty soon." Tony said, apparently having listened to our conversation. 

"Shush." I rolled my eyes. For a second I was sure he was talking about me and Vic, but then I remembered Eli. Mike and Jaime turned to me then, looking confused and hopeful, and Vic was just confused. I blushed, ducking my head. "Eli asked me out on a date." 

"Ooooooh." Mike smirked, making me blush more. "Fettuccine's got a boyfriend." 

"I don't have a boyfriend." I scoffed, rolling my eyes. "It's just a date." 

"I want to hear about this Eli." Alysha grinned, turning to me. This I could actually kind of talk about. 

"He works at Hot Topic. I met him the other day when I went to the mall with Jaime." I nodded, and Jess looked slightly guilty again. I brushed it off, and continued to talk. There wasn't really much to tell about him, but I told them everything I knew. It was different talking about him with girls. They asked more and better questions and were generally more interested. None of them thought his eyes sounded creepy, and Alysha even said that he sounded hot, laughing at the look Mike gave her. 

Eventually though, they were all on their way out. Tony asked me about fifty times if I would be okay by myself until Vic finally said something. 

"She can come and spend the night at my place if she wants." Vic nodded. "This house makes creepy noises at night, and it'll give her an excuse to get out of here. We could go bowling or something." 

"So now, everybody's going on a date." Jaime grinned widely, and I rolled my eyes. 

"It's not a date." I sighed, shaking my head at him before looking back to Vic. "Thank you. I'd love to go bowling. I haven't been in forever." 

"Sounds like a plan." Vic nodded firmly. Tony seemed a bit less worried now, but only a bit. Jaime and Jess left, as did Mike and Alysha, but Tony and Erin stayed behind a little bit, Tony seemed reluctant to leave. I had to practically push him out the door after a while. 

"Thank you for not abandoning me and inviting me over." I laughed, turning to Vic after I closed the door behind Tony. 

"No problem." Vic smiled easily, shrugging. 

"I'm gonna go grab some clothes for tomorrow, since I'm spending the night." I nodded, turning towards my room. "Don't move." 

"Not moving." He nodded once, quickly, then froze like a statue. I rolled my eyes at him before hobbling off to the bedroom. I grabbed my backpack, making sure to put my pain medication in first. If we were going bowling, I didn't want to be hobbling on my crutches. I'd been avoiding the meds since I got them, I've only taken them once when Tony was watching to make sure. They genuinely helped, but I didn't like the concept of medicine. I pulled the bottle back out and went ahead and took one, swallowing it dry. I wanted it to be working by the time we went bowling. 

I threw in some pyjamas and an outfit for tomorrow, and some clean underwear. I went to the bathroom and grabbed my hair stuff, toothbrush and toothpaste, and my makeup. On the way back out of the bathroom, I got my phone charger from beside the bed, along with my stuffed turtle, and zipped everything up, feeling like a child getting ready to go to their first sleepover. I put my backpack on, grabbed my crutches, and made my way back to the living room. Vic had moved to the couch, and I frowned. 

"I thought I told you not to move." I said, mock sternly. He grinned easily at me, and I rolled my eyes. 

"Are you ready to go?" Vic asked, standing up. I nodded made my way towards the door, Vic following. I made sure I had my key before I walked out, locking it behind me. Vic  ran ahead of me to his car so he could open the door for me, and I laughed, shaking my head. That boy. 


	12. Not a Date

“I am so excited for this.” I grinned, walking into the bowling alley. “I haven’t been bowling in years.”

 

“You haven’t done much of anything in years.” Vic laughed as we walked towards the front desk. I shrugged it off, not wanting to explain for the fiftieth time that I was literally held captive. Vic walked up to the man running the desk, telling him that we wanted an hour game, and then paid for it before I could even get my wallet out.

 

“You didn’t have to do that.” I frowned, crossing my arms.

 

“I invited you, so I pay.” Vic nodded firmly.

 

“Oh so this _is_ a date.” I smirked, winking at him. He rolled his eyes, turning back to the cashier man.

 

“What’s your shoe size?” The man asked, smiling at us. He seemed amused by my antics. Vic and I both told him our shoe sizes, and he walked into a little back room, returning with two pairs of shoes and handing the bigger pair to Vic, the tiny pair to me. “I had to get a child’s shoe for you, I hope that’s okay.”

 

“That’s fine.” I laughed, looking at the shoes. They were bright pink with purple trimming, they didn’t suit me at all. But then again, since when do bowling shoes suit anybody?

 

“You’ll be in lane seven.” The man grinned. “You two kids enjoy your date.”

 

“Oh we will.” I gave the man a sly smile, pulling Vic away before he could say anything.

 

“Hey, you’re the one who keeps insisting that these aren’t dates.” Vic laughed as we walked away.

 

“He was nice, and I’m tired of debating that.” I shrugged, finding our lane. I walked up to the little machine that kept track of your names and scores, frowning at it. “You’ll have to help me out here. They’ve gotten new ones since I’ve been here.”

 

“I got it.” Vic nodded, moving in front of me so he could get to the machine. “You can only have five letters for your name, I assume you want Alfie?”

 

“Yep.” I nodded, watching him enter my name in. “You should make yours Vicky.”

 

“I don’t think so.” He laughed, entering in a simple ‘Vic’ before starting the game. I watched the pins come into place, and since I was up first I grabbed the smallest ball I could find and walked up to the lane.

 

“Again, don’t make fun of me, it’s been forever since I’ve done this.” I warned Vic, turning to him. He gave me an innocent smile, raising his hands. I turned back to the pins, took a deep breath, and rolled the ball.

 

And it went straight into the gutter. As did the next ball.

 

“You really are bad at this, aren’t you?” Vic grinned, selecting his ball as the pins reset. I scowled in response, taking a seat at the table.

 

“I told you that you weren’t allowed to make fun of me.” I grumbled, crossing my arms and slumping in my seat.

 

“I’m not making fun of you.” Vic said, not even turning around as he rolled the ball. I watched as it went straight down the middle of the lane, taking down all the pins in its path. Vic turned to me, smirking victoriously. “I’m merely stating the obvious.”

 

“Oh, bite me.” I snapped as I got up for my turn. I focused all of my willpower into knocking over pins, and the ball nearly made it all the way down the lane before rolling into the gutter this time. I kept the scowl on my face as I went to grab my ball from the return, making sure Vic saw it. I went to roll again, but he stopped me.

 

“Here, your form isn’t right.” Vic sighed, coming up behind me. “You’re turning too much, here.” He prodded my sides gently until I turned the way he wanted, then put his hand over mine on the ball. I felt my breathing hitch, but I couldn’t tell if it was from anxiety or something else. “Try to move your arm perfectly straight,” he murmured, pulling my arm back for me and then pushing it forward. I let the ball go as it got close enough to the lane, then watched it roll as it knocked over four pins on one side. I turned to Vic, grinning wildly.

 

“Thank you!” I beamed, hugging him. I let go quickly, suddenly feeling awkward. “Now that I know how to play, I’m totally gonna kick your ass, Fuentes.”

 

“Oh you’re on, Means.” Vic smirked, grabbing his ball from the return.

 

“I say loser buys dinner?” I proposed, raising an eyebrow.

 

“That’s big talk for somebody who only has four points.” Vic grinned, rolling his ball down the aisle. I watched as he once again got a strike, somewhat regretting my bet, my pride keeping me from retracting it.

 

“I’m totally gonna kick your ass.” I repeated, beaming confidently.

 

“You’re on then.” Vic nodded firmly, holding out his hand for me to shake.

 

Needless to say, I lost. 83-264.

 

“So where do you wanna go to buy me dinner?” Vic asked as we left the bowling alley. I rolled my eyes at him, getting into his car.

 

“Well, you’re the winner, so obviously you should pick.” I shrugged.

 

“I think I’ll take us to the nicest steakhouse in town.” He mused, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “I’m in the mood for filet mignon.”

 

“Okay, fancy pants, if you wanna go to a fancy steakhouse in jeans and a t-shirt, be my guest.”  I laughed, looking at his clothes. Vic paused for a moment, then he shook his head.

 

“On second thought, how about we not do that?” Vic laughed, pulling his car out of the lot.

 

He didn’t tell me where we were going, but with every restaurant he passed, I got more and more anxious. I didn’t care to buy him dinner, I really didn’t, but I was on a limited budget.

 

“A grocery store?”  I raised an eyebrow at him as he pulled into the parking lot of a small grocery.

 

“Yeah, we’re gonna cook.” Vic nodded determinedly. “I know exactly what to make, only it’s a surprise.”

 

“Vic, you don’t have to cook for me.” I frowned as he parked the car. “I’d be perfectly happy just going to a McDonalds.”

 

“You can’t eat fast food for every meal, Alfreda.” He gave me a gentle smile, shrugging. “Trust me, we tend to do that on tour, and it’s probably the worst thing you can do to yourself.”

 

“Fine.” I rolled my eyes, getting out of the car. Vic excitedly walked up to the store, and I couldn’t help but smile at his enthusiasm. He got a cart as we entered the store, insisting on pushing it himself since I didn’t know where we were going.

 

We started at the produce section, and Vic grabbed a small bunch of carrots, an onion, and a large bag of potatoes.

 

“What are you making, anyway?” I asked as we walked through the store. He seemed to know exactly what he was going for. He found a section of fresh herbs and grabbed a few sprigs of thyme, and a head of garlic.

 

“I told you, it’s a surprise.” He said simply, pushing the cart on through the store.

 

“If I guess it, will you tell me?” I asked, grinning at him.

 

“I have a terrible poker face, so there’s no chance of me lying if you guess it right.” Vic shrugged, giving me a shy smile. We stopped when we reached the meat department, and he picked up a pound of ground beef. I looked over the ingredients he already had, and I immediately knew what he was making.

 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I gasped, beaming up at him. He raised an eyebrow, silently questioning. “You’re making Shepard’s Pie??”

 

“You caught me.” He ducked his head, sheepish. I let out a squeal that sounded far too girly to be myself, giving him a huge hug. “I take it you like Shepard’s Pie?” He laughed, hugging me back.

 

“I fucking love Shepard’s Pie!” I tried to keep my voice level and calm as I pulled away from him, but I was way too excited. “My mum used to make it for me all the time.” I got overexcited thinking about the pie again, lunging forward to rewrap my arms around his waist. “Tá tú mo duine is fearr leat riamh!!” (“ _You’re my favorite person ever!!”)_

 

“I don’t know what that means but I’m going to assume it’s a good thing.” Vic grinned, patting my head like a child.

 

“It is, I promise.” I nodded quickly, not bothering to translate.

 

We quickly made our way through the rest of the store, making sure we had all of the ingredients. Vic looked at me like I was crazy when I told him we needed a bottle of red wine, but Shepard’s Pie just isn’t the same without red wine in the gravy.

 

When we went to check out, the girl at the cashier couldn’t be older than 18. She was bubbly and nice, complimenting me on my piercings, admonishing my bravery. She reminded me so much of myself, I always tried so hard to be nice to people when they came through my line and always found a reason to compliment them. It was a nice break from hating everybody in my house.

 

When she finished ringing everything up, Vic handed her his credit card while I was still telling her about how my lip rings were super new, and she slid it through before I could protest.

 

“Vic!!” I scowled, turning to him. “The bet was that the loser bought the other dinner!”

 

“I forgot.” He shrugged, but I saw right through the lie.

“It’s already enough that you paid for bowling, you can’t pay for this too.” I sighed, feeling helpless. I just want to pay for my own things. I tried my best to keep how upset I actually was off my face, but from the look Vic was giving me, that wasn’t working.

 

“You’ll get it next time, I promise you.” Vic nodded solemnly, resting a hand on my shoulder.

 

“Break that promise and I’ll kick your ass.” I gave him a firm nod, turning back to the cashier, who looked slightly scared but also amused.

 

“You two are cute.” She smiled, handing Vic his card back.

 

“We’re not a couple.” I said, a bit exasperated at this point.

 

“Still, you’re the cutest friends I’ve ever seen.” She grinned, and the bag boy finished putting our bags back in the cart. “You two have a good night.”

 

“You too.” I gave her a genuine smile, knowing how much she might need it. Working as a cashier can be really demanding. Vic grabbed the cart, pushing it out the automatic doors. We found the car quickly, and he started unloading everything into the backseat. The air was thick, tense, and neither of us said anything until we were back in the car.

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t let you pay.” Vic murmured, his tone genuine. He looked sad, a little defeated. “I just know that until you start your job, you’re on a set budget, so I was just trying to help.”

 

“I just want to be independent, Vic.” I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “I haven’t been able to do anything for myself or make my own decisions in a long time, and I want that back.” My voice started to break, and I could feel myself tearing up. I didn’t want to cry, I didn’t want to be this upset. Today’s been so so great, and I didn’t want to make it bad.  I stared straight out the window, avoiding Vic’s gaze. “You guys have paid for nearly everything recently, you bought me that dress and paid at the bowling alley and I’m bumming off Tony to live with him and-“

 

“Alfie.” Vic cut me off, his voice strong. It shocked me, and turned to him. He had a gentle smile on his face, he looked warm and inviting. “I promise I’ll let you be as independent as you want, from here on out.” He nodded solemnly, leaning forward to hug me. “I had no idea it meant this much to you.”

 

“I just got my freedom back, of course being independent is important.” I murmured, and that’s what broke me. I started crying, and I couldn’t help it. Vic just kept holding me, murmuring softly in my ear.

 

After just a few moments, I pulled away, wiping at my eyes. I couldn’t help but laugh at myself, which confused Vic, but I didn’t care.

 

“Let’s just forget that happened and go home and make Shepard’s Pie, okay?” I suggested, wiping at my eyes.

 

“Deal.” He nodded, starting the car.

 

It was a short drive back to his house, which was significantly smaller than Tony’s but still super nice. He parked the car in the garage, and together we brought in the groceries. I tried not to notice him getting the heavier things, but I didn’t mind. I was tired and my knee was starting to hurt again.

 

“Okay so, we’ll get started on the potatoes, and then I’ll give you the full tour, alright?” Vic suggested, leading me to a door in the garage, then through a small laundry room and straight into the kitchen. “It saves time that way.”

 

“Works for me.” I grinned, setting my bags down on the bar. Vic opened the bag of potatoes, pulling out eight of them, and then rummaged around in a couple of drawers. He produced a potato peeler, which he handed to me, then used a knife to peel his own potatoes. “I can use the knife, I don’t mind.”

 

“I’d rather not risk any injuries tonight.” Vic laughed, and the cuts on my stomach itched. I ignored them, setting to work on the potatoes. Vic dug a pot from under the cupboard, filling it with water and setting it on the oven to boil. “You can leave about half of the peeling on, if you like your mashed potatoes like that.”

 

“Definitely” I grinned, and started peeling.

 

Moments later, the potatoes were all peeled and boiling away, and Vic started leading me through the house.

 

“There’s only one bed, but it’s huge and I assume that you won’t mind to share.” Vic laughed, leading me to his bedroom. He was right about that, his bed was gigantic and looked so warm and inviting.

 

“Given that we’ve slept in the same bed for the past few nights, I definitely don’t mind.” I laughed with him, and he led me through the rest of the house. It was nice, but you could definitely tell that only one person lived there, and that that person was a single male.

 

We went back to cooking, starting to chop up the vegetables to sauté. Eventually we had everything all nice and cooked up, and Vic was mashing the potatoes when I finally added the wine to the mixture.

 

“My mother used to say this was the family secret to the best Shepard’s Pie, and she would let me have tiny sips when we cooked together.” I smiled fondly, setting the wine down. “The older I got, the more she let me have.”

 

“Did she ever let you have the full glass?” Vic asked, looking up from his potato mashing. The asshole insisted on mashing them by hand, when it was so much easier to just use an electric beater.

 

“Nah, I’ve never drank.” I shrugged. “After the crash, dad was constantly a drunk mess, so I had to take care of him.”

 

“You can have some now, you know.” Vic nodded towards the bottle. “You’re what? Twenty seven? Way above twenty one. Go for it.”

 

“Alright I will!” I nodded determinedly.

 

“Glasses are in the cabinet next to the fridge.” Vic grinned. I set the spatula I was using to stir the meat sauce down, moving past him to grab a glass. “You might wanna add some ice to that.” Vic nodded towards the wine. “Warm wine is never good.”

 

“Gotcha.” I nodded, getting a couple ice cubes from the dispenser in the door of the fridge. I poured the glass almost full, taking a huge sip. The wine burned more than I expected it to, and I had to fight back a cough.

 

“You alright?” Vic smirked, raising an eyebrow. I merely nodded, going back to stirring the meat sauce. The wine spread a warmth through my chest, and I kept sipping on it.

 

Eventually, the meat sauce was cooked through, and the mashed potatoes were done, so we put it all into a casserole dish, first putting down the meat sauce and then piling on the mashed potatoes.  Vic had made _way_ too many potatoes, and we had a huge bowl left over. We brushed the potatoes with some egg and sprinkled on a ton of shredded parmesan, then put it in the oven to bake, setting a timer for twenty minutes.

 

“Wanna watch a movie while we wait?” Vic suggested, and I nodded as I filled my wine glass again, putting the bottle in the fridge so it would get cold.

 

“You can pick it.” I said, looking over at the giant bookshelf filled with movies Vic had beside his TV. I knew that I probably didn’t know most of them, and I would take forever picking it.

 

“Do you wanna watch a newer movie or something older?” He asked, looking over the movies. I shrugged, taking a seat on the couch. He searched for a little bit longer, finally pulling out a case and popping the disk into the DVD player. He took his seat beside me, keeping his distance but still sitting close. The quality of the movie looked older, slightly grainy on his large television. He picked up the remote, fast forwarding through the previews. A familiar menu screen popped up, and I let out a gasp.

 

“This is my favorite fucking movie.” I exclaimed, turning to Vic.

 

“You quoted it the other day and I’ve been thinking about it ever since.” Vic admitted, looking a bit sheepish. “I didn’t know it was your favorite though.”

 

“I fucking adore this movie.” I beamed, moving over so I could lean on him and snuggling down to get comfy, careful not to spill the wine I still had in my hand. He tensed up for a second, but then relaxed, draping his arm over me.

 

He hit play on the movie, and I smiled at the familiar fanfare that started. I hadn’t seen the movie in forever, but I could still quote the opening word for word.

 

I groaned when the timer went off on the oven, not willing to get up and relinquish my pillow. Vic laughed, standing up and leaving me to flop on the couch.

 

“That wasn’t nice.” I pouted, standing up and walking to the kitchen with him. He donned oven mitts and pulled the pie out of the oven, setting it on the counter. The potatoes had browned nicely, and it smelled fantastic.

 

“I never said I was nice.” Vic gave me a mischievous grin as he grabbed a spoon to scoop the pie out with. “Grab two bowls for me please? They’re in the cabinet next to the glasses.”

 

“Can do.” I nodded, getting into the cabinet and finding bowls. They were on the top shelf, and I strained to reach them, but they were too high up. “Um, actually, can’t do. I’m too short.”

 

“Okay, shorty.” Vic laughed, and he walked over to me. I thought he was just going to grab them himself, but he put his hands on my hips and lifted me easily. I squealed, grabbing the bowls quickly so he would put me down.

  
“I didn’t say you could do that!!” I scowled, setting the bowls down on the counter so I could cross my arms.

 

“It seemed easier.” He shrugged easily. He grabbed the bowls, scooping out a large portion into each, then handing me one.

 

“I probably won’t be able to eat all of that.” I frowned as he handed me a spoon.

 

“I think you’ll manage, I don’t think you’ve eaten anything all day.” Vic frowned. “Do you want anything to drink?”

 

“I have my wine.” I grinned, pulling the bottle out of the fridge and topping off my glass.

 

“Go easy there, that’s like your third glass.” Vic looked concerned now, but I waved him off.

 

“I’ve been refilling it whenever its like, half full, so it’s not that much really.” I shrugged, putting the bottle back into the fridge.

 

“Okay…” Vic sighed as he grabbed a soda. “We can eat on the couch, come on.”

 

Together we walked back to the couch, and I actually sat up this time so I could eat. Vic hit play on the movie, and I took my first bite of the Shepard’s Pie.

 

“This is perfect.” I practically moaned. “I miss this. I haven’t had it since high school.”

“My mom used to make it when I was a kid.” Vic grinned, taking a bite. “It is really good.”

 

“I keep forgetting that your mom is Irish too.” I frowned, but then turned my attention to the movie. I let myself get lost in it, mindlessly eating as I did but still taking the time to fully taste it.

 

By the time Sarah made it to the Bog of Eternal Stench, I had finished the entire bowl, plus my glass of wine. I was really feeling the effects of it now, my head was a bit fuzzy. I got up to put my bowl in the sink and refilled my glass, then took my spot next to Vic, snuggling up to him again.

 

By the time the movie was over, the bottle of wine was empty. Vic had had two glasses, but I had drank the rest.

 

“You really shouldn’t have drank all of that.” Vic frowned as I poured the last remaining wine into my glass. I shrugged, taking a sip.

 

“I’m an independent adult, I do what I want.” I nodded firmly, though my words were a little bit slurred.

 

“Alright, alright, adult, what do you wanna do now?” Vic asked, moving so he could take the movie out of the DVD player.

 

“Let’s just watch another movie and cuddle some more.” I grinned a tongue-in-teeth smile, and Vic rolled his eyes.

 

“You’re affectionate when you’re drunk.” Vic nodded, looking through his movies again.

“I’m not drunk!” I protested, crossing my arms and scowling at him. He shook his head, amused. I changed the subject before he could say anything else. “Let’s watch a scary movie!”

 

“Okay.” Vic nodded, then quickly grabbed a disk. “I don’t think you’ve ever seen this one, so it’ll be scarier.”

 

“Perfect.” I beamed, watching him put the movie in. As soon as he sat back down, I cuddled right up to him, snuggling my head into his chest. He draped his arm across my shoulders, and I was perfectly comfortable.

 

The movie he put in was called The Last House on the Left.

 

“Wasn’t this movie made in the seventies?” I frowned, looking up at him.

 

“This is the remake.” Vic assured me. “It was made in 2009. Have you seen the original?”

 

“Nope.” I popped my lips on the p, and then turned my attention back to the tv.

 

The movie started out fine, kind of like any typical horror movie would. But in the first half hour, something horrible happened.

 

The psycho killers broke into the family van, stabbing one of the girls, and then raping the other. Immediately I had flashbacks to the black room, to every single man who ever touched me. I threw myself away from Vic, and then curled myself into a ball on the end of the couch, shaking.

 

“Alfreda?” Vic was confused, and he put his hand on my knee, but I flinched away. “Oh fuck Alfreda, I wasn’t even thinking.” Vic immediately turned the movie off, getting off the couch so he could kneel in front of me. “Alfreda, listen to me, you’re okay. You’re safe right now.”

 

“I hate that fucking black room.” I whimpered, lunging forward to hug him. I was still shaking, but I wasn’t repulsed by his touch. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me, I knew I was safe in his arms. I started crying, burying my face in his shoulder.

 

“Alfie, how can I help?” He asked, rubbing my back. I couldn’t think of anything. I could feel thousands of pairs of lips on me, thousands of men touching me. Then, I knew what he could do.

 

“Kiss me.” I nodded, pulling back. Vic was shocked, but I continued before he could say anything. “I need to feel somebody nice. I need to feel somebody I know and can see and I need it to be of my own choice.”

 

“Alfreda, I don’t think that’s such a good idea…” Vic murmured, unsure.

 

“Vic, _please_ -“ I started, but I was cut off by a sob. I was going back into absolute panic mode, I could practically feel the restraints on me. I could hear the voices of all the men, telling me how they were gonna fuck me, how sexy I was. I started rubbing at my arms, trying to get the feel of them off me.

 

Then, a pair of lips covered mine, and I almost flinched before I realized these were real lips, connected to Vic. Some part of me switched on, and I was kissing him back, with more force and passion than I’ve ever kissed a person. Slowly, the hands on my sides melted away, and all I could feel was Vic. His arms wrapped around my shoulders, his lips on mine. I could taste the wine and Shepard’s Pie on his mouth, but I didn’t care.

 

I pushed him back, moving so I was straddling his lap. I ground my hips into his, eliciting a little moan from both of us. His tongue swiped along my bottom lip, and I opened my mouth a bit more so he could enter. My hands trailed down his shoulders, over his chest and down his stomach until I reached his belt buckle. I started to undo it, and that’s when he pushed me away.

 

“Alfreda, I can’t.” Vic muttered, and I pouted.

 

“Vic please, let me show you how good I can be.” I practically purred, trailing my fingers over his chest. “I’ve got years of experience.”

 

“Alf, you’re my friend, and Tony would kill me, I can’t.” Vic repeated, pulling away from me.

 

“What Tony doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” I grinned, moving forward again. Vic pushed me until I was off of his lap, standing up.

 

“Alfie, you’re tired, you’re drunk, and you’re not thinking clearly.” Vic said, keeping his voice level. “I know that you’d regret this in the morning. You need to go to bed.”

 

“I see how it is…” I muttered, looking down and playing with my hands. “You don’t want me.”

 

“I _can’t_ want you, Alfreda…” Vic sighed, crouching down to me. “You’re Tony’s best friend. He would murder me.”

 

“He keeps telling me that you like me.” I frowned, looking back up at him. “Everybody does. They all tell me that you like me and that I like you too but I just don’t realize it yet.”

 

“Do you?” He looked shocked.

 

“I don’t think so.” I shrugged.

 

“This is just the wine talking.” Vic sighed again, standing up and holding out his hand for me to take. “Come on, lets get you to bed.”

 

“Fine.” I pouted, grabbing his hand and standing up. He lead me into his room, where I immediately flopped down onto his giant bed. I curled up into a ball in the middle of it, smiling. “Your bed is much more comfy than mine.”

 

“It’s the best.” Vic nodded, and I let out a groan as I realized something.

 

“I left my clothes out in the car.” I whined, looking up at Vic with puppy dog eyes. “Will you go get them for me?”

 

“Of course.” Vic smiled kindly, speaking softly, like you would a child. “I’ll be right back.”

 

“Thank you love.” I grinned, then snuggled down into the bed.

 

I must’ve dozed off, because the next thing I knew, Vic was shaking me back awake.

 

“Alfie, wake up, you can’t sleep in your jeans.” Vic’s voice had a slight edge of amusement to it, and I groaned at him.

 

“You do it for me.” I pouted, giving him puppy dog eyes again. Vic raised his eyebrows at me. “I’m fine to sleep in this tank top and probably just in my underwear, just take my jeans off for me.”

 

“This isn’t another try to get me to have sex with you, is it?” Vic asked apprehensively. I sat straight up, scowling at him.

 

“You’ve already made it clear that you don’t want me, and I’ve given up, it was a stupid thing to do in the first place, now let’s never talk about it again. Mar sin, stop a bheith den sórt sin a gcioch.” I snapped, glaring at him. I jumped off the bed, ignoring the pain in my knee, and grabbed my backpack. I practically stomped into his bathroom, slamming the door behind me.

 

How dare he? I had obviously moved past trying to fuck him, and now he’s just making fun of me. He actually seemed concerned though… Oh god, he was just looking out for me and now I’ve probably made him hate me.

 

I changed quickly into the sweatshirt and shorts that I brought with me, not bothering to brush my teeth or anything. I took a second to collect myself, as I was on the verge of crying again, and went back into the bedroom. Vic was there, looking upset, and that broke me.

 

“I’m sorry.” I sobbed, running to him and hugging him. “I don’t know what’s the matter with me, I’ve been so ridiculous.”

 

“I know exactly what it is.” Vic said matter-of-factly, and I looked up at him, confused. He grinned down at me, clearly not angry. “You’re drunk.”

 

“Oh my god.” I laughed, rolling my eyes. “Maybe that’s it.”

 

“Come on, let’s go to bed.” He grinned, pulling away from me. He climbed into one side of the bed, holding the covers up so I could get in on the other side. I immediately snuggled up right next to him, sighing happily.

 

“Thank you…” I started, looking up at him. “For bowling, for the Shepard’s Pie, for the Labyrinth, for… Distracting me… Thank you.”

 

“That’s what friends are for.” Vic smiled.

 

“And I’m sorry for swearing at you in Irish…” I mumbled, feeling a blush spread across my face. Vic let out a laugh, shaking his head.

 

“What did you even say, anyway?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

“I told you to stop being such a tit.” I laughed at the absurdity of it.

 

“You’re forgiven.” Vic sighed, patting my head. “Now go to sleep.”

 

“I love you.” I murmured, closing my eyes and nodding off. I barely heard him return the sentiment before I fell asleep.

 


	13. I'm an Adult!

“I think I might actually be dying.” I groaned, rolling over to face Vic. I peeked my eyes open to see that he was already awake, looking at me. I screwed my eyes shut tight again, the light from the window was practically blinding and my head was absolutely killing me. Vic let out a laugh, which only made my headache worse.

 

“That’s what you get for drinking all that wine.” Vic sounded smug. I did my best to scowl at him, but I couldn’t really do that with my eyes shut. I felt weight lift from the bed as he stood up. “Come on, let’s get you some aspirin and something to eat, it’ll help.”

 

“No, I think I’m gonna stay here and die instead.” I mumbled, pulling the covers over my head and holding them tight.

 

“Alfreda, I promise you’ll feel better after painkillers and something to eat.” Vic sighed, and I heard his footsteps walk over to my side of the bed. He tugged the blankets away, and suddenly I was freezing, with nothing to protect my eyes from the light.

 

“Vi-ic.” I whined, frowning at him. I peeked my eyes open again, scowling at his amused expression.

 

“Alfreda, come on.” He sighed, grabbing my hands and trying to pull me up.

 

“Why do you hate me?” I groaned, standing up and pulling my hands away from him so I could cross my arms. I looked him full in the face then, damning the light in my eyes.

 

“I’m just trying to help you feel better.” Vic rolled his eyes, walking out of the room. I followed him into the kitchen, where he was digging through a cabinet. He produced a small white bottle, handing it to me.

 

“Wait, I have my own.” I nodded, walking back to his room to get my bottle of pills out of my backpack. I went back into the kitchen, and Vic was waiting for me with a glass of water. I shook a pill out of the bottle, taking the water and getting a mouthful before popping the pill in.

 

“I’ll teach you my guaranteed hangover cure.” Vic grinned, moving to the fridge. He pulled out a small bottle of red Gatorade and a can of sprite, then got a glass down from the cupboard. He mixed the two together, handing me the finished product. I took a cautious sip. It tasted atrocious, and I grimaced. “I know it’s not the best tasting thing in the world, but it helps.”

 

“Why did you let me drink all of that last night?” I grumbled, leaning against the counter. Suddenly, I realized something, and looked at the stove to see what time it was. “Oh fuck, it’s past noon.”

 

“Yeah, you really slept in.” Vic frowned a bit. “What’s wrong?”

 

“Tony must be worried sick.” I groaned, throwing my head back. “I don’t even know where my phone is.”

 

“It’s probably still in your jeans from last night.” Vic shrugged. I nodded, and went back into the bedroom to find it.

 

Vic was right, it was still in my jeans, which were just strewn haphazardly across Vic’s bathroom floor. I had fourteen missed calls from Tony, and seven texts.

 

_From: Turtle, 9:45PM_

_Did you guys make it home safe?_

_From: Turtle, 11:04PM_

_I guess you’re not paying much attention to your phone, which can either mean you’re having too much fun or you’re dead._

_From: Turtle, 12:38AM_

_Text me as soon as you wake up, okay? Goodnight_

_From: Turtle, 9:26AM_

_Alf? You up yet?_

_From: Turtle, 10:15AM_

_Alfreda Kimberly Means, I know you’re not sleeping in. I’m getting worried._

_From: Turtle, 10:55AM_

_Alf I swear to god_

_From: Turtle, 11:59 AM_

_I’m coming to Vic’s, if you’re not there I’m calling the cops._

 

“Oh fuck.” I muttered, and that’s when I heard Vic’s front door open. I ran out of the bedroom before he could do anything.  
  
“Alfie!” Tony exclaimed, looking shocked and relieved. He ran to hug me, crushing me to his chest. “Oh my god, I was so fucking worried about you.”

 

“I’m so sorry Tone, I was super distracted last night, and I slept in super late today.” I spoke in a rush, trying to get all the words out. “I just woke up about three minutes ago.”

 

“What had you so distracted last night?” Tony demanded, pulling away from me. He glanced back at Vic, who looked slightly guilty.

 

“She may have been a little bit drunk.” Vic admitted, sheepish. Tony looked shocked, turning back to me for an explanation.

 

“We made Shepard’s Pie, and I got a bottle of red wine to put in the gravy like mum used to.” I sighed, regretting getting the wine in the first place. “I ended up drinking the whole bottle.”

 

“Not true, I had two glasses.” Vic protested, and I rolled my eyes. “But to be fair, you were pretty plastered.”

 

“I barely remember anything past the second glass.” I frowned, struggling to recall last night’s events. “I know we watched the Labyrinth, but what happened after that?”

 

“We watched a scary movie.” Vic said, cautious.

 

“Oh yeah!” I nodded, remembering suggesting that. I let out a sharp gasp as I remembered what else happened.

 

I fucking kissed Vic.

 

“What?” Tony frowned, looking worried again.

 

“Nothing, I was just remembering how scary that movie was.” I shrugged, trying my best to look embarrassed, which wasn’t all that hard. Tony can’t know that I kissed Vic. I would never hear the end of it.

 

Not only did I kiss Vic, but I tried to fuck him. Oh my god. This is not good. This is not good at all. I can’t fucking believe I did that!

 

“You never liked scary movies.” Tony chuckled, buying into my lie. I looked to Vic in a panic, and his face told me that everything I remembered actually happened. I wished with all my might for a hole to open up in the ground and just fucking swallow me whole. “I’m glad you’re okay though. I was scared to death that you had died or the two of you had been kidnapped and brutally murdered.”

 

“You worry too much.” I laughed, rolling my eyes.

 

“He’s the band mom.” Vic grinned, and Tony turned to scowl at him. Vic quickly changed the subject, opening the fridge. “I was actually just about to make breakfast. Wanna join us?”

 

“Breakfast at noon?” Tony raised an eyebrow.

 

“Hey, we just woke up, so don’t judge us.” I nodded firmly, moving over to Vic. “What are you making?”

 

“Pancakes, the breakfast of champions.” Vic beamed proudly, pulling eggs and milk out of the fridge.

 

“Perfect.” I grinned. I looked over to Tony, who had sat himself down at the bar, watching us with an amused expression. “What?”

 

“You two are cute.” He smiled, resting his chin on his hand.

 

“People keep saying that.” Vic sighed under his breath as he grabbed a bowl from the cupboard.

 

I watched as he mixed up the pancake batter, helping out when he asked. Soon, all three of us had stacks of pancakes, and they were the best tasting pancakes I’d ever had.

 

Just as I was finishing up, my phone buzzed in my lap, and I was surprised to see a text from Eli.

 

_From: Eli_

_Warning: you’re about to get a call from my manager._

 

“What the fuck?” I practically whispered, my eyebrows furrowing.

 

“What’s wrong?” Tony asked, sounding concerned.

 

“Eli just texted me telling me that his manager was about to call me.” I frowned, looking up at him. My phone started buzzing in my hand, and I looked back at it in a panic, only mildly freaking out at the unknown number. “Oh my god, what do I do??”

 

“Answer it, dumbass.” Tony laughed, and I shook my head, clearing my throat to get rid of the nerves. I slid the answer button across the phone, putting it up to my ear.

 

“Hello?” I was still slightly nervous, but I managed to keep it out of my voice.

 

“Yes, is this Alfreda Means?” The voice on the other line asked.

 

“This is she.” I nodded, looking at Tony and Vic. They were both offering encouraging smiles.

 

“This is Frank White from Hot Topic, I was calling to offer you an interview here.” The voice said confidently.

 

“Oh, that’s perfect.” I grinned. “When can I come in?”

 

“As soon as possible.” Frank sounded sincere. “You could come in today if you wanted.”

 

“Okay, I can do that.” I nodded, and Vic and Tony looked excited and curious.

 

“How does 4 o’clock this afternoon sound?” Frank asked, and I lit up at the suggestion.

 

“That sounds perfect, I’ll see you then.” I beamed, jumping out of my seat. I could hardly contain my excitement.

 

“I look forward to it.” Frank hung up the phone, and as soon as he did, I let out a squeal of happiness.

 

“Guess who has a job interview today??” I exclaimed, doing a little dance. I was so excited. This was my first step to becoming independent. Here soon I would be able to get a car, maybe get my own place.

 

“Alfie that’s fantastic!” Tony beamed, jumping up to hug me.

 

“You’re a real adult now!” Vic grinned. I glanced over at him, thinking back to last night when I cried over wanting to be independent. I could tell that he was thinking about it too, and I gave him the biggest smile I could muster.

 

“I have to get ready.” I nodded, glancing at the clock. It was just past one now. “I know it’ll take me ten years to figure out what I even want to wear.”

 

“Let’s get you back to the house then.” Tony smiled, grabbing his car keys off the island. “Vic, you’re welcome to join us if you want.”

 

“Alright I will.” Vic nodded firmly.

 

“Just let me get my stuff together.” I told Tony, turning to go back to Vic’s room. All I really had to do was gather up my clothes from last night and shove them back in my backpack. I was back to Tony in just a few seconds. “Okay, let’s go!”

 

“Let’s!” Tony grinned, holding out his arm for me to take. I rolled my eyes at his dorkiness, but took his arm anyway. I offered Vic my other arm, and together the three of us walked out of the house. We encountered minor problems at the door, but we managed.

 

Soon enough, we were back in Tony’s house, and I immediately went to my room to try and find something to wear. I frowned, not knowing what to wear to a job interview at Hot Topic. They were a bit different than my old grocery store. I pulled my phone out of my pocket, shooting a text to Eli.

 

_To: Eli_

_What the hell are you even supposed to wear to an interview at Hot Topic????_

I sighed, looking through my closet. Obviously I wouldn’t be all dressed up, especially for Hot Topic, but I didn’t necessarily want to just wear a t-shirt and jeans either. Mere seconds after I sent the text, I got a reply.

 

_From: Eli_

_Just wear clothes that look like they’re from here tbh, something you’d wear while working here_

Clothes from Hot Topic… I really didn’t want to wear a band t shirt, so I picked up my shredded top. This could work… I sifted through the pile of pants that I had yet to hang up, finding a pair of floral jeans. Perfect. I skipped the tank under the shirt this time, opting for just a plain black bra instead. And hell, why not wear matching underwear? Gives me a confidence boost.

 

I jumped in the shower, wanting to wash the smell of wine off of me. I could still feel my head aching just a little bit, but I was feeling infinitely better, probably all thanks to Vic. I showered quickly, not wanting to waste any time. When I got out, I brushed my teeth and cleaned my lip rings, applying cream to my tattoos. I towel dried my hair as best as possible, brushing through it. I got dressed, making sure I had the leggings pulled up high enough that I didn’t have to worry about showing any cuts by accident. I didn’t put my brace back on, my knee felt fine enough without it. The mirror was still fogged up and I couldn’t do my makeup just yet, so I went back out into my room. My closet had a full length mirror on the door, and I checked my outfit, making sure it was decent enough. I liked it, but I wasn’t sure if it was good enough for an interview. I grabbed my phone from where I had tossed it on the bed, taking a picture in the mirror to send to Eli.

 

_To: Eli_

_One attachment_

_Is this okay? I’m nervous as fuck._

 

I went out into the living room to find Tony and Vic, and they were both sitting on the couch, watching some TV show I didn’t recognize.

 

“You look nice.” Vic grinned, turning to face me. Tony turned as well, a huge smile lighting up his face.”

 

“I’m so nervous.” I laughed shakily, sitting down between the two of them. “It’s been five years since I’ve had a job interview. I don’t know how to act.”

 

“Just act like yourself.” Tony nodded. “From what Eli’s told you, they’re pretty desperate to hire people, so you could probably act as horribly as you wanted and they’d still hire you.”

 

“Don’t do that though.” Vic laughed. “You actually want this job, remember?”

 

“I’m not dumb.” I laughed, sticking my tongue out at Tony. My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I smiled at the text from Eli.

 

_From: Eli_

_You look perfect. T_ _he outfit is perfect for an interview here._

 

“Eli says my outfit is perfect for the interview so that’s one less thing to worry about.” I sighed with relief, relaxing a little bit. I couldn’t help but blush at the little emojis he sent with it. I’d nearly forgotten about him asking me on a date and everything.

 

“Of course he did.” Tony huffed, rolling his eyes.

 

“I am choosing to ignore your tone right now.” I stated simply, refusing to let Tony dampen my confidence. “He’s had an interview there before, so he knows.”

 

“Or he’s just trying to get in your pants, so he’ll say anything to make you happy.” Tony scoffed, and I stood up from the couch, walking directly back into my room. I didn’t need to hear any more of his negativity, especially when I was so nervous already.

 

I could hear Vic and Tony talking, but I shut my door to block them out. The bathroom mirror had unfogged, so I started on my makeup, leaving the bathroom door open so I didn’t get too claustrophobic. Minutes later, my bedroom door opened, and I didn’t even bother to turn around.

 

“I don’t want to hear any more negativity from you, Tony.” I sighed, trying to make sure my foundation had blended down my neck well enough. Vic’s face appeared in the mirror behind me, and I sighed, rolling my eyes. “Of course, it’s just you.”

 

“Tony’s just trying to watch out for you, you know.” Vic sighed, leaning against the doorframe. 

 

“He acts like he owns me or something.” I scowled, picking up my powder compact. “I’m a grown adult, I can do what I want, with whoever I want.”

 

“Of course you can.” Vic nodded. “Just make sure they’re consenting adults as well.”

 

“Of course.” I nodded, and then grimaced as memories from last night washed over me. I turned to face Vic, and he had a knowing look on his face. “Vic, I am so so sorry about last night. I don’t know what came over me.”

 

“It’s okay.” Vic shrugged, trying his best to look nonchalant, but I could see how awkward he felt. “I kissed you at first.”

 

“Yeah, but then I tried to get into your pants.” I laughed nervously. “Thank you for not letting it go any further.”

 

“What was I supposed to do, fuck the panic out of you?” Vic asked bluntly, and I let out a genuine laugh at that.

 

“I’m honestly surprised I asked you to kiss me.” I frowned, turning back to the mirror and grabbing my eyeshadow. “You’d think that with my past, that would be the last thing on my mind.”

 

“I was shocked too.” He admitted. “But it seemed to work, so I guess it wasn’t a terrible thing.”

 

“Thank you, really.” I made eye contact with him in the mirror, giving him a little smile. “You one hundred percent did not have to do that.”

 

“You were pretty hysterical.” Vic shrugged. “I think at that point I would’ve done anything to get you to calm down.”

 

“Sorry.” I grimaced, picking up an eyeshadow brush and using it to sweep a pale shimmery shadow across my lids. I didn’t want anything too heavy.

 

“It’s not your fault.” Vic frowned. “I should’ve remembered the scene in that movie.”

 

“It’s okay.” I sighed, quickly moving onto mascara. Vic stood there for a moment, silently watching me. I swept some bronzer and blush onto my cheeks, trying to give some life to my pale, sallow skin. I finished off with lipstick, then turned to face Vic. “I have to go apologize to Tony for walking out on him now, don’t I?”

 

“Nah, you had every right to do that.” Vic gave me a little smile. “He’s probably going to apologize to you, though.”

 

“Good, he can’t be mad at me, I need him to give me a ride to this interview.” I laughed, moving past Vic. I took a deep breath at my door, then walked back out into the living room.

 

“Alfie, I am so sorry.” Tony pleaded, standing to meet me as soon as I entered. “You didn’t deserve that.”

 

“It’s fine Tone, really.” I sighed, shrugging. “I understand why you’re upset. Just try not to be so rude in the future, yeah?”

 

“Promise.” Tony grinned, giving me a hug. I pulled away from him quickly, checking my phone. It was already 3:15, and I panicked.

 

“I need to be at the mall already.” I exclaimed, looking at Tony. “I wanna be there early to make sure I’m not late.”

 

“Okay then, get your shoes on and we’ll go.” Tony laughed. I didn’t respond, only raced back to my room to grab my black converse. They were the only shoes I had that weren’t running shoes, and they matched so that was a plus. I made sure I had my wallet in my back pocket, just in case, and then went back into the living room.

 

“Let’s go!” I nodded, and Tony grabbed his keys.

 

“Vic, you wanna come?” Tony asked, raising an eyebrow.

  
“Why not?” Vic shrugged, and we all went out to Tony’s car again. I sat in the front, leaving Vic all by himself in the back. My phone buzzed in pocket, and I struggled to get it out, sliding the message open.

_From: Eli_

_I go on my 30 in about ten minutes if you wanna get here early and do a little practice interview._

 

I smiled, loving that he was so thoughtful. I quickly typed out a response.

 

_To: Eli_

_I’d love that! I’m on my way to the mall now, I should be there soon._

 

“Eli offered to do a little mock interview with me since he goes on break right before my actual interview.” I nodded, looking at Tony to try and gauge his reaction. His jaw tightened at the mention of Eli, but he stayed silent.

 

“That’s really nice of him.” Vic complimented, and I turned to grin at him.

 

“Eli’s a really nice boy.” I smiled, feeling myself blush a little. Vic only smiled back in response, so I turned back around.

 

“You guys can’t come near Hot Topic, okay?” I frowned suddenly, remembering last time. “I don’t want a big scene. And the manager would think I was using you or something.”

 

“We’ll keep our distance.” Tony nodded, though I had a sneaking suspicion that he had ulterior motives for not wanting to go near Hot Topic. I got another text from Eli, surprising me with his speed.

 

_From: Eli_

_I’ll meet you at the food court._

_To: Eli_

_That sounds perfect. We’re nearly there. I’ll get a table if I get there before you._

_From: Eli_

_Can’t wait to see you_

I blushed at his message, clicking my phone off. We drove the rest of the way in silence, not uncomfortably so, but none of us really had anything to say. I was trying to keep my nerves at bay, fiddling with my phone.

 

I did get to the food court before Eli, and I grabbed a table for us. Vic and Tony slipped off to somewhere else, knowing I wouldn’t want them intruding and that Tony wouldn’t want to be around when Eli got there.

 

_To: Eli_

_I’ve got us a table near the doors_

“Found you.” A voice popped up behind me not two seconds after I sent that text. I jumped, turning to see Eli’s brown and blue eyes, twinkling with mischief.

 

“You scared me!” I laughed, lightly slapping his shoulder.

 

“Sorry.” Eli smirked, clearly not sorry at all. He took the seat across from me, looking me over. “You look a lot prettier in person. I love that shirt.”

 

“It’s really old.” I shrugged, blushing from the compliment. “I’ve had it for ages.”

 

“Well it suits you.” He nodded. “Shall we get this interview started?”

 

“Of course!” I beamed, sitting up straighter in my seat. Eli’s face got incredibly serious as he took on the role of interviewer.

 

“So, Alfreda, why do you want to work for Hot Topic?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

“I’ve always loved Hot Topic’s fashions, and the alternative scene definitely appeals to me.” I answered, shaking a little. I didn’t exactly want to just say ‘I need a job so I can stop mooching off my friend’.

 

The interview continued on like that for another twenty minutes, Eli keeping up his serious persona and I my studious composure. I was having a bit of fun, and my nerves were soon dissipating.

 

“I think you’re ready.” Eli nodded, checking his phone for the time. “You’d better head on down, it’s ten till now.”

 

“Thank you so much.” I smiled, standing and making sure I had everything. He stood as well, holding his hand out for me to shake, his features taking on that serious expression again. I laughed, shaking his hand.

 

“I have one last question for you.” Eli started, slightly apprehensive. I raised an eyebrow, waiting. “Would you like to come to dinner with me tonight? Let’s say, 7 o’clock?”

 

“Oh, um.” I started, a bit shocked. His face fell a little, and I couldn’t help but feel a bit of déjà vu. This was just like the first time he asked me out. “Sorry, you always take me by surprise when you do that. Of course I would.”

 

“Perfect.” Eli beamed. “I’ll text you?”

 

“Sounds great.” I grinned. “I should go now, but I’ll see you later?”

 

“See you.” Eli said smoothly, giving me a little wink. I turned, headed towards Hot Topic, but I couldn’t resist turning to look back at him. He was doing a little dance, but stopped when he saw I was turned, looking a bit sheepish. I let out a laugh, turning back and making my way to Hot Topic.

 

Just as I got there, the manager was telling the girl working the front desk that if an Alfreda Means showed up, to send her back to his office.

 

“That’s me, actually.” I spoke up, raising my hand a bit. The manager turned to face me, beaming.

 

“You’re early!” He smiled. “I like that.”

 

“Thank you.” I nodded.

 

“My name’s Frank, we spoke on the phone.” He introduced himself, holding his hand out to me. He was tall, probably around 6’3”, and lanky. He couldn’t be any older than 25. His arms were filled with tattoos, only slightly covered by a plain black t shirt. His hair was a deep black, slightly covering his bright blue eyes in an asymmetrical fringe.

 

“Nice to meet you, my name is Alfreda Means.” I shook his hand firmly, trying to sound confident.

 

“Why don’t you join me in my office, and we’ll start the interview?” He suggested, and I nodded. He started towards the back of the store, and I followed. We ended up in a small office, which was brightly lit by fluorescents overhead. It was a huge contrast from the dim lighting in the store.

 

“So, tell me Alfreda, why do you want to work at Hot Topic?” Frank started, and I smiled, launching directly into the answer I gave Eli.

 

The interview went over smoothly, he asked me exactly the questions Eli did in the exact same order. I gave him the same answers, feeling completely confident.

 

“Well Alfreda, I must say you’ve really impressed me.” Frank sighed at the end of the interview. “When can you start?”

 

“I got the job?” I was completely gobsmacked. I didn’t expect him to just hand me the job at the end of the interview.

 

“Of course you did!” Frank laughed.

 

“I can start at any time.” I nodded, getting a bit excited. “Tomorrow, if you need me to.”

  
“Well I surely do need you to.” Frank nodded, thinking. “There’s no uniform or anything, just wear stuff you’d find in the store. I’ll get you a lanyard and you can fill it up with buttons tomorrow.”

 

“Thank you so much.” I practically gushed. “What time do you need me to be here tomorrow?”

 

“Around ten, if you can.” Frank suggested.

 

“I’ll be here.” I beamed, and he stood, offering me his hand. I stood and shook it, grinning from ear to ear.

 

“I’ll have somebody ready to train you.” Frank promised, and with that, I left his office, a bounce in my step. I shot a text to Tony, noticing that the interview had only taken twenty minutes.

 

_To: Turtle_

_Where did you guys end up?_

I passed Eli on the way out, and as soon as he saw the smile on my face he ran over to hug me.

 

“I take it the interview went well?” He asked, placing his hands on my shoulders.

 

“I start work tomorrow at ten.” I nodded, beaming.

 

“Hey, my shift starts at 9:30.” Eli noted. “I’ll see you there.”

 

“Great.” I beamed, then remembered our date tonight and blushed a bit. “I’ll see you tonight, okay? I’ve gotta go find Tony.”

 

“See you.” He murmured, sliding his hands down my arms. I shivered a bit, hoping he didn’t notice. I made my way out of the store, looking around for Vic and Tony.

 

From: Turtle

Meet us at the entrance by the food court, where we came in.

 

I nodded, feeling a bit foolish as I realized he couldn’t see me, then took off in the direction of the food court.

 

They were waiting by the door, as promised, and as soon as I saw them I broke into a run, ignoring the slight twinges in my knee. I tackled Tony in a hug, nearly knocking him to the ground.

 

“I got the job!!” I exclaimed, ecstatic. “I start tomorrow.”

 

“Alfie that’s so great!” Tony beamed, pulling back to look at me.

 

“Now you’re really an adult.” Vic grinned. I tore myself away from Tony, engulfing Vic in a hug this time.

 

“I’m an adult!” I repeated, beaming.

 

“Let’s celebrate!” Tony nodded decisively. “We’ll go out tonight and celebrate.”

 

“I um…” I started, suddenly shy. “I actually have a date tonight…”

 

“When did this happen?” Vic asked, shocked.

 

“Eli asked at the end of our practice interview.” I admitted. “He’s going to pick me up tonight at seven.”

 

“Well then we’ll celebrate your first day on the job tomorrow.” Tony nodded, a little less enthusiastic. His voice had a bit of an edge to it, but I ignored it. “Unless you already have plans for then, too.”

 

“No, I should be good.” I confirmed, ignoring the venom in his tone. “Let’s go home, shall we?”

 

“Of course.” Tony sighed, exiting the door and holding it open for me. I nodded my thanks, and made my way to the car. I decisively sat in the back with Vic, trying to avoid an argument.

 

The ride was tense on the way home, and I couldn’t help but feel slightly guilty. I should’ve known that Tony would want to do something to celebrate, but at the same time, I deserved to go on a date whenever I felt like it.

 

There were extra cars in Tony’s driveway, and I should’ve known better than to expect Jaime and Mike to stay away for so long. As soon as Tony stopped the car, I got out, practically sprinting up to the entrance.

 

“Jaime, Mike!!” I shouted, running into the living room before coming to a complete halt. I was a bit surprised to see Jess and Alysha there too, but not disappointed.

 

“Freddo!” “Fettucine!” Jaime and Mike shouted simultaneously, and I grinned at their nicknames.

 

“I got a job today.” I smiled proudly. They both lit up, standing to hug me.

 

“That’s so great Freddo.” Jaime beamed.

 

“Now maybe you can get your own place and stop bugging us all the time.” Mike joked. I rolled my eyes at him.

 

“You do realize that this isn’t your place either?” I laughed, pulling away from the both of them. Mike shrugged, and he and Jaime went to sit back down next to their girlfriends. “Hey Alysha, hi Jess.” I smiled, politely waving.

 

“Congratulations on your job.” Alysha grinned.

 

“Thank you.” I beamed.

 

“Don’t plan on doing anything with her tonight, she’s got a date.” Tony sighed, and I turned to see him standing in the doorway.

 

“He’s mad because Eli asked me out on a date tonight.” I explained to the four in front of me, rolling my eyes.

 

“Tell us about it!!” Alysha squealed, a lot more enthusiastic now. “Where is he taking you?”

 

“I have no idea.” I admitted, blushing. “He said he would text me.”

 

“I hate when guys do that.” Jess groaned, rolling her eyes. “Jaime does that to me all the time, refusing to tell me where we’re going until we get there.”

 

“You never know what to wear!!” Alysha agreed, nodding. Mike and Jaime let out sounds of protest, but they were ignored.

 

“He’s taken me to a nice restaurant when I’m in jeans and a t shirt countless times.” Jess laughed.

 

“I’ll just text him and ask.” I shrugged, not really thinking much of it.

 

_To: Eli_

_Where are we going tonight? What do I need to wear?_

“You have more confidence than I do.” Alysha sighed.

 

“I mean, it’s easier to just ask him than to worry over something simple.” I shrugged. My phone buzzed in my hand seconds later, and I slid my thumb across the screen to unlock it.

 

_From: Eli_

_It’s a surprise where we’re going, but wear something nice._

“See, now’s the time to worry.” I laughed, showing Alysha the phone. “I don’t have any nice clothes.”

 

“Let’s go see.” She nodded, standing up and taking my hand, pulling me up with her. “Jess, do you wanna help?”

 

“Of course.” Jess grinned, standing up. Alysha dragged me off to my room, throwing open my closet.

 

“What’s he like again?” Alysha asked, flipping through my clothes. I didn’t have much hanging up, mostly my t-shirts. I started grabbing my jeans from the floor, putting them on hangers.

 

“He’s kind of… Preppy?” I let out a little laugh. “He works at Hot Topic but he doesn’t exactly look like he belongs there.”

 

“Do you have any dresses?” Alysha asked, turning to me.

 

“I’m not much of a dress girl.” I shrugged. “What you see there and what’s on the floor here is all I have.”

 

“You look like you’re about my size.” Alysha nodded, moving to sort through the clothes on the floor. She grabbed a bag, and I winced as she pulled out the dress Vic made me buy, raising an eyebrow. “I thought you said you didn’t have any dresses?”

 

“I forgot I had that.” I admitted, frowning. “Vic made me buy it, but I look twelve in it.”

 

“It’s pretty.” Jess nodded. “You should wear that.”

 

“I feel awkward when I wear it.” I grimaced. “Plus, he seems to like what I normally wear.”

 

“Well, this will shock him.” Alysha grinned.

 

“I don’t even have shoes to wear with it!” I protested, hoping they’d give up on the dress.

 

“What size shoe do you wear?” Alysha asked, and her eyes lit up when I told her. “That’s the same size as me. You can borrow a pair of mine.”

 

“You’re not going to give up on this, are you?” I groaned, exasperated. Alysha smirked as she shook her head. “Fine. I’ll wear the stupid dress.”

 

“Yay!” Alysha squealed, beaming. “I’ll take you to my place and we can find you some shoes and get you ready, okay?”

 

“Do I have to?” I frowned. I’d be much more comfortable getting ready here. “You can just pick out whatever shoes you want, I’d rather stay here.”

 

“It’d be a lot easier to just come to my place.” Alysha argued, and I was about to just suck it up and go before Jess spoke up.

 

“Lysh, she’s obviously uncomfortable with that idea.” Jess sighed. “She’s only known you for two days, I don’t blame her. If she’s more comfortable here, a place that’s more familiar, what’s the point in taking her out of it just for the sake of shoes?”

 

“I just thought it would be easier.” Alysha shrugged, halfway apologetic. “But it’s whatever, I can just go get them.”

 

“Good.” Jess nodded. Alysha left without another word, and I sighed, turning to Jess.

 

“You didn’t have to do that.” I shook my head, but she raised her hand, silencing me.

 

“Alysha can be a bit much sometimes, and she doesn’t even realize it.” Jess explained. “You just have to be a bit more assertive with her. It was obvious you didn’t want to go, you tensed up as soon as she mentioned her apartment.”

 

“I’m just a bit nervous in new places.” I laughed awkwardly, shrugging. “I’m still not even used to this place.”

 

“Which is completely understandable.” Jess smiled softly. “Now, what are we going to do with that hair of yours?”

 

Jess called for Jaime to bring us a chair from the kitchen, and once he did, she situated me in front of the mirror in my bathroom. She ran her hands through my hair, looking for inspiration. I didn’t care what she did really, I just wanted to look nice for Eli. She sent a text to Alysha, asking her to bring back a curling iron. Apparently, Alysha’s apartment was only about five minutes from here, and she’d be back before I knew it. Jess started a braid at the front of my hair, still looking for inspiration. Alysha texted back, telling me to wash my face before she got back so I would have a fresh face for her to work on. I did my best to scrub away the mascara, but I’m used to washing it off in the shower, so I still had little black smudges around my eyes.

 

Alysha came back a bit later, arms full of stuff.

 

“I brought two different pairs of shoes, some makeup just in case we needed it, and some jewelry for you.” Alysha grinned, dumping everything onto my bed.

 

“Very thorough.” Jess smiled, rolling her eyes a bit. “Did you get the curling iron?”

 

“Here.” Alysha nodded, digging the iron out of her bag and practically skipping over to us, and Jess took the iron, plugging it into the wall. She started brushing my hair out, giving me a deep side part. “You’re going to look so cute!!”

 

“I think you’re more excited for this date than I am.” I laughed at Alysha, shaking my head.

 

“First dates are so cute.” Alysha grinned. “Sometimes I wish I could forget who Mike is, just so we could have a first date again.”

 

“That’s adorable.” I grinned. She smiled widely, skipping off to find her adorable Mike. I thought of Tony, and sighed, pulling my phone out of my pocket.

 

_To: Vic_

_Make sure Tony’s okay, please. I know he’s probably ranting and raving about all of this now that I’m out of earshot._

“I know what I want to do with your hair!” Jess announced suddenly, jumping a little. She checked to see if the iron was hot enough, decided that it was, and started curling.

 

_From: Vic_

_He’s a bit pissed, but the worst he’s doing right now is staying creepily quiet._

_To: Vic_

_Don’t let him get too pissed, please. He needs to realize that I’m an adult and I can do what I want._

_From: Vic_

_I can see where he’s coming from. He just got you back, Alf. He doesn’t want to see you get hurt or lose you again to some boy._

_To: Vic_

_Yeah, but I’ve been through much worse than a stupid breakup with a dumb boy._

_From: Vic_

_Yeah, but does he know that?_

_To: Vic_

_He knows that I was held captive and not allowed outside for five years. That’s enough._

 

I sighed, putting my phone down so Jess could fix my hair easier. She gave me a knowing smile in the mirror.

 

“You texting your date?” She mused, wrapping a piece of hair around the curling iron.

 

“Nah, Vic.” I shrugged. “Tony’s not too enthusiastic about the fact that I’m going on a date, so I’m asking Vic to make sure he’s okay.”

 

“Tony really cares about you, you know.” Jess sighed, letting the curl go. She had nearly curled all of my hair. “Erin told me that you’re all he was able to talk about last night.”

 

“We were best friends in middle and high school.” I nodded. “Then we got separated for a while, and we just really missed each other. He’s always been overprotective.”

 

“He’s a good guy.” Jess confirmed. “You’re lucky to have him.”

 

“Yeah, I know.” I smiled. “I just wish he would back off of Eli. He’s so cold towards him. He refuses to even give him a chance.”

 

“He’ll come around.” Jess nodded, wrapping the last bit of hair around the iron. “Tony’s as stubborn as he is kind.”

 

“It’s good to know he hasn’t changed over the years.” I laughed, and Jess only grinned in return. She finished curling my hair, then started a braid at the very beginning of the part in my hair, continuing it all the way down to the nape of my neck. She started to put the rest of my hair in a bun, just behind my ear, leaving me confused as to why she spent all that time curling it. She pulled a few tendrils free, letting them dram my face.

 

“Ta-dah!” She grinned, giving me over-enthusiastic jazz hands. I studied it in the mirror, unable to stop the huge smile on my face.

 

“It’s beautiful!” I beamed, hesitantly reaching up to touch it. I didn’t want to mess it up. “Thank you.”

 

“It’s no problem, really.” Jess shrugged. “You’re going to blow this Eli guy’s mind.”

 

“Thanks.” I repeated, blushing slightly.

 

“I’ll go get Lysh, she’s dying to do your makeup.” Jess grinned, walking out of my bathroom. I sighed happily, picking up my phone. I was shocked to see that it was already 6. I was nervous that I wouldn’t be ready in time.

 

Alysha came into my room then, lugging a giant makeup case with her. I was a bit intimidated by it’s size, even more so by the giant grin on Alysha’s face.

 

She wouldn’t let me see until she was finished, but she kept telling me how beautiful I looked, even before she started the makeup. Her makeup had infinitely more steps than what I usually did, and I realized that I had a lot to learn about makeup still. I got a bit nervous when she went to put fake lashes on me, but she applied them well and I could only feel them a little bit.

 

True to her word, I looked beautiful when she finally let me turn around. My skin looked flawless, and my eye makeup was very simple, not shimmery at all and very neutral, with perfect eyeliner. She’d used a darker pink-red on my lips, which I was nervous about, but it ended up looking perfect.

 

By the time she finished, it was 6:45, and I had a text from Eli asking what my address was so he could come and pick me up. I had to get that from Jess, because I didn’t want to ask Tony. I didn’t want to see Tony right now. I also had a text from Vic, and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at it.

 

_From: Vic_

_He’s refusing to acknowledge that this is happening now. Jess mentioned how beautiful you look and he changed the subject._

_To: Vic_

_Tell him to stop being such a baby._

 

I picked out some new underwear, as my black set was too harsh to wear under the light lace. I chose a matching floral set, needing all the extra confidence I could get. I got dressed, hiding in my closet so Alysha and Jess wouldn’t see my scars, and then Alysha set to work accessorizing me. I traded my usual black rose earrings for a pair of cream colored ones, but that was the only change I made to my usual jewelry. I kept my turtle necklace on, despite Alysha’s protests, and I flat out refused to leave without my Claddagh ring. Alysha gave me a choice of shoes, between a pair of nude heels and tan old fashioned shoes. I picked the flats, giving the excuse of my knee to avoid the heels. I just really hated being in heels, and I actually quite liked being so much shorter than Eli.

 

_From: Eli_

_I’ll be there in about five minutes, be ready for me._

 

“Oh my god.” I whispered, unable to pull my eyes away from my phone.

 

“What’s wrong?” Alysha asked, sounding worried.

 

“He’s going to be here in five minutes.” I replied, my voice hardly more than a hurried hiss. Alysha let out a little squeal.

 

“I’m so excited for you!!” She beamed, and I looked up just in time to catch Jess lovingly rolling her eyes.

 

“I better go make sure Tony’s okay.” I mumbled, quickly turning around and leaving my bedroom. I found all of the boys in the living room, and as soon as I entered, they simultaneously turned to look at me, and I swear more than one of them gasped.

 

“You look incredible, Freddo.” Jaime beamed. I blushed under the attention, but kept my focus on Tony. He was seemingly at a loss for words, but after a few seconds, he cleared his throat, shaking his head.

 

“You really do look great, Alf.” He nodded, giving me a little smile.

 

“Eli said he’d be here in about five minutes.” I nodded, sitting down beside Vic.

 

“That’s the dress I bought you.” Vic stated, but I couldn’t decipher his tone. He didn’t sound happy, or unhappy, he was just making a statement.

 

“Yeah, it’s the only dress I own, and Eli said to dress nice.” I nodded.

 

“You look nice.” He nodded, seeming to choke a bit on his words.

 

“Thank you.” I grinned. “Thank you for making me get this dress.”

 

“Eli won’t know what hit him.” Mike smirked, and I felt the blush on my cheeks darken.

 

“Have fun tonight, Alf.” Tony spoke up, still a bit choked, but he cleared his throat. “And be safe, whatever you do.”

 

“I have condoms if you wanna take one.” Jaime winked, and I let out a sound of protest.

 

“I won’t need those on the first date.” I laughed, shaking my head. I jumped at the knock at the door, feeling the blood drain from my face. I was so nervous, which was ridiculous, but I froze at the sound of it.

 

“Are you going to get that, or do you want me to?” Tony asked, and that snapped me out of it. I jumped up, smoothing my dress down, then running to get the door. I opened it, smiling when I saw Eli standing there, holding a bouquet of flowers, and wearing a dark navy suit, tie and everything. My heart actually melted.


End file.
